r/ShitCrusaderKingsSay

Enby Brunch this morning is: Left over veggie sandwich, fries, and coffee.

My friend suggested that I make a sort of “Father’s Day Special” post on here. First time sharing my leftovers and my thoughts with y’all, and boy howdy do I have a story.

Imagine, if you will, it’s the year 1955. Four friends graduate high school. Let’s call them Jon, Bill, Jane, and Sally. Since it’s the 1950’s, getting married is just what you gotta do, so they pair up.

Jon marries Jane, and they have three kids. Bill and Sally get married, and they have several kids. The important thing to remember for this story is that Bill and Sally have a daughter named Lisa. (And there’s like over a dozen people involved here who I’m not making fake names for lol.)

Well several years pass. The friends all realize, oh, probably not the best idea to get hitched to the first available person when you’re 18. You should get to know them more than that to decide if you’re a good pair. What to do, what to do?

Welp, they did the divorce shuffle. They just swapped partners, and the respective kids went with the pairing that included their mother.

So Bill marries Jane, and they both exit the important part in the story here. They both stayed together for the rest of their lives and, although I didn’t know either of them very well at all, seemed to have had a good life together.

Jon marries Sally, and all of Sally’s children move in with her. This includes Lisa, of course. Jon and Sally also have several children together.

Jon does all the step-father and father things. Tries to make his marriage work for the kids. But alas, he chose a partner too hastily again. He divorces Sally after several years. He remains single for a while.

Lisa grows up. Becomes a respected professional in her field of work. She’s a successful 20-something in the 90’s.

Jon has a business idea, and suggests that he and Lisa go into business together. She accepts. Time passes while they’re business partners…. until they become romantic partners also.

They eloped. Both because they didn’t want a big to-do and, well, it’s a marriage between a step parent and kid. If my understanding is correct, they eventually announced the marriage to the family a few months later when I made it difficult for my mother to hide her pregnancy.

So to recap:

My Dad’s first marriage: to the woman who would become my step-grandmother

Dad’s second marriage: to my maternal grandmother

Dad’s final marriage: to my mother, and they are still happily married nearly 30 years later.

My gaggle of half-siblings: many are also my mom’s half siblings, so they are my aunts and uncles, too.

My cousins are also my nieces and nephews. I had grand nieces/nephews before I was even born.

My family: rather complicated. It’s less so a tree than it is a handful of spaghetti that God threw at a white board and said, “that’s it! That’s the u/GarlicShizue family!”

Happy Father’s Day, y’all.

Meet my wife and soulmate Ásta Il. Daughter of my liege, King of Denmark.

For some reason, her father decided to grant her a county and she (with my help) managed to expand to her own duchy title and a whole bunch of counties. Great you would think - our children can now inherit both my and her titles. I don't even want to usurp the kingdom title at this point, because the current king is her brother and we are also BFFs.

She is only 4 years younger than me and we got bethrowed at 12 and 16, which is pretty tame by CK3 standards if you ask me. She has the congenital "Amazonian" ("herculean" for female characters) health trait, which is pretty cool for a female norse ruler.

Because she has her own titles, she doesn't stay at my court. The game however gives a bunch of options to make sure that we can still meet - I can invite her to activities and there even is a "invite to Visit" option I'm not sure if vanilla or from a mod I use. A bunch of events confirm that we have sex.

We are married for two decades now and despite a bunch of fertility-boosting perks and inventory items she doesn't get pregnant.

To add insult to injury, the game forces my character from time to time to suspect that she might be unfaithful, giving me the option to ask her "do you have another?" As if it would even be a problem at this point. We are soulmates and and at this point I don't care if it's me or her bull fathering the child.

I have two fallback strategies:

1. My sister. ...not what you think, she is matrilineally married and at least she has a daughter
2. concubines. I tried two, both as fertile as possible pretty and one of them now gave birth to a daughter.

So while the succession is secured, I am still salty that her genes don't pass on.

Is there some kind of hidden infertility trait that makes it impossible for for one of us to have children?

Edit: Thanks to some suggestions, I found that with the "Marriage Love Family" mod (Steam) you can check detailed stats by hovering over the heart (health) icon. It indeed revealed that my wife has "Fertility: 0%" (Screenshot). So while I still can't see any source for it, at least I know that I didn't just had a lot of bad luck. Thanks!

Every time I go to a tourney for some reason my character gets seduced by/tries to seduce old men. I have the lustful perk but I'm not homosexual. It's literally every tourney and always men, usually quite old men. Any idea why this might be?