Like if you want to spam yuri 24/7 uhh go to r/YuriLoversCentral or r/YuriSupremacy or even other yuri spaces I love yuri! But this isn't a yuri sub down vote this I don't care just don't argue twin never forget the early days of the sub... anyway have a nice day DRINK AND EAT! It's an order!!!
i relapsed. held the blade out infront of my own brother, and he only laughed and celebrated. i dont know why i even waited for him to leave my room, i shouldve started ripping myself apart right infront of him, give him something funny to watch. dealing with people like this constantly, a shithole of a world full of even worse 'people', and you expect me to be happy with it? a world where being yourself gets you punished or killed, people support the same people that make this world even worse, defend eachothers horrible actions, and you still expect me to move on and forget, as if nothing happened. 17 years of this, 17 years spent, and it only took me until recently to find out how horrible everything really is, and the even funnier part is that half of this was caused by one fucking misaligned chromosome, i couldve been what i was supposed to be, but now i never will, and ill forever be fucking mocked and ridiculed for it. just like for every other mistake.
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Long story short i ranted about my life :
My dad only wanted a girl but I was born as a boy. They dressed me up as a girl until I was about 3-4 years old and then it got obvious that I couldn't be a girl and he started abusing me alot. Then they had another baby and it was a girl and she got cherished like royalty while I didn't even get crumbs. He'd beat me , shock me , crush my hands in case door hinges , lock me in closets for days , starve me, hide my books, threaten me stuff like "he'll break my limbs and throw me in a dustbin alive in a faraway city " . All the while I watched my sis get absolutely cherished for existing . My mom would stand up for me initially but he'd just fight her too and she stopped caring after a while too . One day she got into a huge fight with him and the next day she left with my sis leaving me alone with that monster for 2 months as a 5-6 year old and he'd blame me for everything,make me do all the house work , make me wear girl clothes even touch me like a girl and abuse me alot , i don't even remember most of the stuff he did . About 2 months later my mom came back and he just acted like all that stuff to me never happened. The abuse continued and eventually he was making me do his corporate modules, crm reports and stuff for like 8 hours a day during Covid and that included adult work place ethics quizes , yk stuff designed to train bank branch managers being forced upon a 12 year old and if i messed up something I was abused and slept in the closet without food . Once I tried child helpline but they just came and took bribes money and left and I got 4 broken fingers that night because I called the child helpline . I've never been healthy too I was always sick and no one took care of me I was going to tumour treatments alone as a 16 year old too . I have chronic pain in my entire lower body since childhood and they never got it checked because it was me who was hurting . I once accidentally slipped up about my dad being toxic to a friend and he black mailed me for the rest of school life (2 years) . Not to mention I got severe puberphonia for 3 years , to the point even teachers would visibly laugh hearing my voice and it got me bullied and sexually assaulted too and my dad absolutely mocked my manliness because of it. I stopped speaking altogether because of it and yeah life's Just one big hell I haven't touched a human for months, my last human touch was a nurse taking a blood sample from me and that was last year because I had severe dengue and was fainting alot. He forced me to keep long hair so he could use it as torture too like he'd force wash my very long hair with cloth detergent and then blow dry it and and yank a comb through than mess completely dry no conditioner no shampoo no oil just nothing, it hurt like crazy because of all the tangles and my scalp was already dried from the detergent . Also he's very religious and respected in society so no one would ever believe me . I was constantly abandoned at random places as a kid too .
I desperately need someone who won't leave me , i am very clingy , get jealous easily and insecure but I'm not the yandere type I'll just spiral internally and overthink everything . Idc if they are abusive as long as they keep me around for the rest of my pathetic life