r/StoicSupport

One of the factors marriage failed was due to parent B taking advantage of parent A’s finances which lead to lies, negative impact on credit, and house almost being foreclosed. Child support amount is written in the legal agreement contract for parents. Parent A has physical custody and parent B has every other weekend.

Legal papers went into effect this month (May) and child support was due on the 1st of the month. Should parent A go after child support or let it go? One option would be spending a lot of money with the lawyers to basically send parent B a message to pay (this parent is fully aware) or go to the child support enforcement office to essentially get the money from his wages. Parent B has history of quitting jobs and it is highly likely he will quit or not even work so to prevent paying child support. Another fear of all this is that parent B may seek more time with the kids so to get child support from parent A. Parent A does not make significant amount but enough to get by for themself and the two almost school age children. What parent A doesn’t want is continues legal appointments to hold someone accountable but also run into financial strain at some point when the money recorded by both parents from selling the marital home runs out.

I’m not sure of any of that made sense. Some advice for peace of mind/reassurance would be great. Thank you.

I was recently on a date which went really well, though after a few days i got hit with a very polite rejection of anything further happening.

It got me thinking about the stoic principle about accepting what is outside of our control. Because of course her feelings towards me is beyond my control completely. But as we engaged on the date, I must’ve had some influence on how she felt about me, so in that way i am kind of in control of how she feels/views me.

I think what bugs me about a rejection like this is the not knowing if it was something i could improve on i.e within my control or something completely outside of it, like her meeting an even better guy.

So yeah, what are your thoughts on this?

New to this whole philosophy. I actually admire it. Growing up in a Christian household we tend to emphasize expression of feelings through emotional vulnerability which is nice but stoicism adds a layer of mental fortitude. I would argue that it aided the growth in my faith. I have become more in tune with my values. Just letting go of the need to control external outcomes (which are in God's hands) I can entirely focus on my personal virtue and character. I have become indifferent to trivial matters and shift my attention towards my growth for Gods glory.

I'm tired of telling people of what happened and not believing a single word I said. I have no one else to talk about this besides my friends who was there and knew what she was doing to me. The school, my classmates, my teachers, and my family even our neighbors thought that I was insane, crazy, a liar, all because it's impossible, and it wasn't true.

Everything start when I was in gr 9 where this girl came up to me and introduced herself as a former classmate of mine back in gr 7, At first it was normal, she and my friends got along and everything was okay until she started copying my friends and started cringing to me uncomfortably. She tried to do the same things with my friends but stopped when they confronted her but continued the same thing with me even after telling her how uncomfortable she was with me. At first she was companing me everywhere i go, even with the times where it was not needed, up to the point where she doesn't want me to leave her side no matter how short it was. One time she had me spinning quite fast around the hallway whilr tightly holding my arm to the point it was red and going numb and while i was busy trying to get her off me we bump into a different classmates of ours in a different class where she pretended we were just having fun and laughing at my misery because of what she did(she came to class early the next day dramatically telling people that I hurt her and shown a small wound claiming that i was at fault and had me hold her wrist for the whole day everywhere).

Unfortunately the next year gr10, I was given the same classes with her except all my friends are place into a different class, leaving me with just her due to my advisor refusing to let anyone to switch to a different class. As you guess, it got worse. All my classmates turned against me, refusing to let me join them, purposely leaving me to be her partner in every group activities, started talking about me behind my back, leaving me with their school work, and generally a group of shitty people who doesn't deserved any achievement they got from cheating. And oh.. She too got worse. From being a burden to every partner/grouo activity, she also got me in trouble with every teacher we had. One time, She had in me punished into cleaning our whole classroom and hall way for 2 weeks because rumors had it that she told our advisor that I left the room unclean despite it was deeply raining and broke our room's cleaning mop. And much more incidents that made my year a living hell. And also had this big crush on a former classmate of mine, and became obsessed of him and hated that i was talking to him who was at that time my seatmate (please check my older posts to know more of what she has done. "The aftermath of my trauma")

Along side of that was my health falling apart as well. And family not believing that I was in pain and couldn't bring myself to get up and leave my bed.(also check my older post about this" how to deal with the aftermath" )

My family convinced that i was being bullied and later learning about her and is now convinced that i was in a relationship with him and she got jealousy and got with him and i was too heartbroken to go to school. Which all of what is said is not true and did not happened at all. Because i was in pain and dying at that point and no one believed me.

Fun right?? Much more happened with my family and even now none of them believed me.

I'm sorry if my grammar is wrong and im just rushing to let go of thoughts into writing this and I really don't have any idea on what to do.

I did everything I could think of, to let go but I still feel the weight of my trauma. Please tell me what could i do to help me find peace?