r/TRAILERHood43

Like I’ve said before I’ve been with my hubby for roughly 12 years married 7 we have not lived together since the 3rd year into our relationship and that was for only 5-6 months then he got deployed after that it was just phone long distance for all them years. For some reason we couldn’t get enough of each other dumb s*** and I no I was holding on to what I have today him I don’t even no why he held on I have my own reasons why but I will never tell a soul that. The year we was on our way to divorce I got pregnant after 11 years of on and off lol I got them divorce papers he got I’m prego I had went where he was one last time to try and see how things would work with us they didn’t so I went back home! So I was prego then he came and got us so now we are where he is! Anyways sorry I figured some history might help so I’m used to texting not completely all day but enough to no what he’s up to, well now that I’m with him we do not even text I’m okay with it I don’t really care we live together now, I was texting him telling him the lil things bout how cut he was and hope he was having a good day at work well things happened I felt unappreciated so I stopped okay so months go by now things are still distance of course he don’t tell me when he’s off he don’t really say much to me so I do what I’ve always done best do me idk at this point but today he told me he was going to get his window tinted at 3 so I’m home chilling he comes in at 5 without his window tinted so now I’m just stuck lol he don’t tell me he’s off work he don’t tell me a lot of things but again I was upset and I’m the problem again! So my thing is am I controlling bc I mean I do have that tendency as well or his punk a** just not taking my feelings into consideration lol! At the same time I don’t really care he has definitely shown me how much effort he has to put in to keep me apparently none! Something’s got to change!!

I’m way too old to be caring and the past is way behind me to where it shouldn’t bother me anymore but of course I’m only human and it bothers me daily. My sister breaks my heart every single day! When we was kids we didn’t grow up great but I left my sis at 14 because our house was just crazy so I left my sis she was 11. Her and I wasn’t to close anyways she liked what was going on at the house plenty of people plenty of things to do. Our structure didn’t start like that so I think that’s y I had to leave! I came back at 17 made everyone leave the house and I started taking care of everything my u cle who was 81 my mom who was literally a teenager and my 13 year old sister! So I did that for years eventually my uncle passed and my sister grew up! Her first boyfriend I tried to warn her about because I had dated him in the sixth grade and I knew he was gonna cheat, but I told her I didn’t care if she dated him but just watch out he might cheat on her she dated him for two years and he ended up cheating on her with her best friend. And hated me I let him live with us and he wouldn’t even let my sister in my room smh. Eventually I had to make him leave. I don’t do freeloaders I can deal with an attitude I can deal with you not paying your way. So she lost her mind well in the mean time I had this friend who had a crazy boyfriend I didn’t like him at all but I left my phone with my sis one night bc she didn’t have one at the time and we weren’t living in the same house so I was just going to pick her up the next day for work. When I got there the next day I definitely realized someone had been there so I was like oooooo did u have fun last night lol she smiled well I didn’t find out who it was till a few days later. When I found out who it was it was my friends ex boyfriend well he was actually trying to get at me bc he guess had my number and texted my phone that night thinking it was me. Well my sis told him it was her and they got together. So this man hated me, he was the meanest guy ever he put a bigger wedge between me and my sis but I learned with the first one I will not get anywhere tying to tell her about him so i eventually took myself out of the whole picture again. Moved to another state she was fine she was with him so i only worried about him killing her. My mental couldn’t take them any more. Well years later after I ad moved back because she was planning on leaving him so I came home to get a place to fit us all well she got back with him but I still moved my mom and I back well i hit a rough spot in my life I lost my own place for being a day late on the rent I’m not kidding I was there for 10 years the day I was late the 6th she sent me an eviction notice but that’s also another story!! I was only holding on to that place my mom stayed with me and if my sis needed to leave her man I always had a place for her. But within them years she didn’t ever come there and I was ok with it I mean it was a trailer park she dint see the bigger picture n working our way out of there and it was all I could afford by myself. Things did happen in them 10 years with her man a lot but she never did anything. So I worked did what I thought I was suppose to be doing being there for my family if needed. So once I lost my spot I moved in with them everything was fine, had my accident was in the hospital for more then a month the best month I had ever had to be honest! It was my break no bills no having to clean houses no errands it was just sitting I gained 30lbs I was 97lbs when I went in! The day I got out my sis man hit on me! I had no clue what to do. I had a relief of life I was so tired and drained anyways so I was thankful I had a whole new mind set but when he hit on me I went right bck to where I was! He hit on me for the longest it got so gross and nasty! And he had already broke my sister she was having such a hard time with things so I didn’t want to be the cause of her losing her mind and not knowing what to do bc me my or her had no where to go! Eventually I told her after he was giving her shit for possibly cheating on him. I told her everything! Well she eventually told him everything blew up I left that day!! I am also five months pregnant with my first child. Well she still stayed with him I understood bc she didn’t have anywhere to go anymore! So I had my first baby moved to where my hubby is. She calls me crying saying the whole time they had been together he had been messing around with anyone and everyone I mean crying and this situation had already gotten out 5 years ago so it was no surprise to me bc he literally tried me so I didn’t understand why she was so upset she already knew and I’m sorry but if u hit on my sis I’m done with you that is the lowest of the lows but nope it took all them others for her to be completely done! Okay fine so then she goes to a place that is way more nasty than my trailer ever was. So it didn’t take him hitting on me and it didn’t take me holding on to my place for her to still say to me I never choose her and I left her with mom when I was 14. I told her I was sorry and I have only been trying to make it up to her for leaving her but she never choose me! Every guy you put way before me! I was crushed! I held on for such a long time to my things as I was alone as I was tired and had no reason to be doing any of that I didn’t have kids I had my mom. I could have left but I didnt! But she’s moving out now so I’m hoping she gets out before he knows about it! I’m trying to get over this bc this is just how it has always been so I shouldn’t be so hurt 😭 but I can’t help it!