r/TheValleyTVShow

prefacing with this IS NOT the only thing ruining the show.

but this is the first reality tv series i’ve watched where people seem GENUINELY scared to voice their unadulterated opinion. and i think the only good explanation is because of how parasocial some people got last season. i truly believe that various cast members saw how janet was treated and spoken to by fans and are now tiptoeing around specifically the danny and nia drama.

i’m all for saying and sharing opinions on reddit…. but the way people went out of their way to harass her via social media and the terrible things people said TO her is truly awful. no one should be treated that way as a result of reality tv, specifically non abusers.

brittney seemed [one, actually offended zack said this, but two] legit scared that he said she’s talked shit about nia, presumably because she and other cast members are scared of being harassed by the angry mob.

i already feared the golden era of reality tv is behind us.. but i think viewers are sealing the fate of reality tv by being parasocial as fk to these people and taking their opinions so seriously to turn that into online hate (in a manner that’s completely directed to said person bc again i think sharing your opinion via reddit is one thing)

I know a lot of people on here love Kristen, and the blame of how Danny treats his wife is on Danny, no one else. That being said, Kristen saying in her confessional that she looks up to Nia and Danny's relationship, and that people should learn to discuss things "privately to work past them without embarrassing their partner" is absolute bullshit. In normal circumstances, that can be true, but this is a totally different thing. And if it were applicable here, why can't Danny hold his tongue when he's angry and wait to talk to Nia when they're alone? Why is it on Nia to keep her mouth shut when she's being yelled at? All this does is force the person being berated to shut up and take it. It shouldn't be encouraged. It's common in religious communities, but all it does is protect abusers.

Also her saying to Lala "I agree that's wrong of him but I didn't see it", and then it jumping over to her confessional where she's saying she wants her marriage to be like Danny and Nia's was... something.

I had to stop watching last season because of how Kristen blew up when the (correctly used) term sexual assault came up, but she didnt have any of that energy for the person who actually did said assault. And now this is really making me feel triggered all over again. I can't stand when women defend disgusting behavior like this.

Kristen, you have a baby girl, do better for the women around you. Defend and protect them as you would want your daughter to be.

Jasmine says the issue with Lala clocking Danny is that she’s never been on a trip in the same vicinity as them, and doesn’t realize this is just how they talk to each other.

Ummmm why are these people defending him like that is okay. And Nia constantly defending him is exhausting.

During the conversation Lala and Danny had one on one, she is coming to him as a person who has recovered and has been sober for years. She sees similar patterns in Danny as she did herself, making her truly the best person to share with him how once there’s the drink that pushes him over the edge, his drinking becomes a serious problem. Lala can relate and has adjusted. For him to LAUGH in his confessional saying they aren’t friends like that and he doesn’t need to stop drinking, like…. You are in denial my guy. Saying you don’t need to be “friends like that” is such a cop out. Making it about Lala instead of reflecting on his actions.

As someone I’ve been sober for a year (this month!) I can relate to turning into the spawn of the under-lord when I had one too many. I was in denial for a bit too until I realized I wanted to be control of my words and thoughts.

I’ve never been a consistent Lala Stan, but she was a tremendous friend to both of them these last episodes.

Did they say what the injury was? I must have missed it after he got carried off by 911

is exactly how I speak to my toddler when they’re having a melt down at bed time when im trying to keep my cool and manage their ”big feelings”

”it’s okay you’ve had a long day”

”you’re just tired “

that was gentle parenting 101 and tells me all I need to know.

I don’t know how much more I can handle of him. He’s such a pussy i cant stand watching him, it’s so triggering

The SUREST tell of Danny having a drinking problem is the fact that Nia has asked him to not drink on camera and he PHYSICALLY cannot help himself. And also the fact that he cannot come to the realization himself that he needs to take a break, even if it is just on camera, for his relationships sake. If it is that hard for you to resist a drink on camera—literally have a beer after filming wraps—then you have a drinking problem bcs you cannot control yourself around alcohol.

Sorry if this is like stating the obvious, but why is no one else on the show/nia herself realizing this? The average person who likes to drink can go on a night out without drinking … they can go months without drinking … like if it’s THAT hard for you to not drink or listen to a loved one who’s telling you to slow down/not drink then you have a problem.

Which btw it is OK to have a problem, alcohol is an inherently addictive substance. There is NO shame in admitting you can’t control yourself and adopting a sober lifestyle.

Luke agreeing with Danny on everything was the scariest part. Luke is clearly way worse off camera. I am scared for Kristen.

I wish they would listen to the concerns, for once, instead of villainizing everyone who calls out Danny's bad behavior. It's scary how Kristen and Nia keep each other trapped in abusive relationships.

Both of them deserve better friends. And better partners. Everyone does.

They keep hating on Lala... while Lala only says good things about Nia and Kristen. Lala says Nia thanked Lala... but now Nia is hating on Lala behind her back... all because Lala stepped up for Nia. It's so mean girl coded, sorry.

This is why no one speaks up for Nia. Nothing will change... but Nia and Kristen will hate on you after.

Jesse speaking up, even a little, was redeeming him. He did trying to explain the situation to Danny.

I watched a bit of their latest podcast episode - the ep was titled "The Most Honest We've Ever Been About Our Marriage" and the first bit was them talking about how free and easy their life used to be before kids. And of course Danny had to mention that also included having sex all the time, to which Nia gave him her standard "I don't want to talk about that, Daniel" face. She obviously hates it when he talks about her sexually with other people, and he always crosses that boundary. He has to prove to people (other men) that LOOK I FUCK MY HOT WIFE I AM MAN HEAR ME ROAR. I am good Christian man and my wife submits to me whenever I want it!

I personally cannot imagine that little troll crawling all over her and I fucking hate when he talks about their sex life.

I just wanted to break down the interactions with Drunk Danny in the latest episode because they are such textbook emotional abuse and manipulation.

Alcohol does not CREATE a framework of behaviour like this, it exists already. I think Danny loves leaving the “Daddy Danny” role bc he craves the “Drunk Danny” freedom to say and do whatever he wants. The recovery process also gets easier and easier now that he has successfully scapegoated Janet (tale as old as time) and the cast is all so flawed he can easily round up supporters who will go to bat for him (Kristen. girl.)

The first interaction plays out like a generic article about emotional abuse. Here are all the ways he shuts down their convo:

- it’s a competition. he’s super competitive.

- he was joking

- Lala isn’t a serious enough person to say that to him (her opinion is not valid)

- “you don’t have to raise your voice” x3 (policing the tone instead of hearing the message)

- “I apologized, give me a break” (insincere and actually aggressive)

- gets up and leaves, and stops responding (stonewalling, silent treatment, etc)

Then, after grabbing another beer and aggressively smacking Zach’s fake boob (god I’ve seen that look on a man too many times when it was my boob)… she asks him to take the lashes off:

- he immediately starts with “I can’t believe you said that to me“ once alone (the punishment cycle starts again, how dare you confront me) “I would have NEVER said that to you” (this is his attempt to escalate and turn the blame on Nia.)

She then refuses to take her mic off when they’re going to bed bc it’s a form of protection, LETS BE REAL. Every single reminder that they are mic’d was her managing his reputation but also managing her own safety.

The next morning (she has been managing him like a child for almost a full day at this point) she apologizes for picking tHe wRoNg tImE to sit him down and talk.

He doubles down on it being all about competition and apologizes “sincerely” but without making ANY changes whatsoever. He does the same with LaLa and then immediately contradicts himself in confessional to say she was out of line.

I don’t have access to WWHL bc I’m in Canada and Hayu seems to be out their license… so any after show context appreciated

I say this, because the morning after the "pageant" SHE apologised to HIM first and she made excuses for him by saying they BOTH had something to drink. She will never leave him and she will continue to enable his poor behaviour. It's the sad reality.

The way he is speaking to Nia is outrageous. He isn’t even sorry in his cameos. He is doubling down.

“Don’t raise your voice at me”

While Nia is trying to express her feelings.

It’s emotional abuse. He is gaslighting her! No other way to describe it.

Poor Nia…

“Right time, wrong messenger”

“She wasnt wrong, but she was wrong in how she went about it”

“Jasmine told everyone to drop it, Janet should respect that”

“Sexual assault is a legal allegation”

“It doesn’t vindicate them, she was still a bitch”

Dearly beloved’s, I gather you here to say our goodbyes to our consciousness. YES we knew Danny assaulted two queer women of color. YES we knew he had a drinking problem so bad that even Ajax mentioned it. YES we knew he never faced repercussions for any of this.

But forgive us, father! For we did not have the perfect victim!

When our victim or whistleblower has any faults, we latch on to those faults. That’s what we were taught! Never mind that Jasmine NEVER excused it, but got exhausted that her anger was a storyline.

Never mind that Janet never exaggerated how bad it was, just told the truth and was called a bitch for doing so.

Let’s focus on the perfect victim, NIA.

Nia doesn’t deserve abuse because unlike Janet, she’s beautiful and soft spoken.

Nia doesn’t deserve abuse like Jasmine and Melissa, because she’s a beautiful white woman.

Nia doesn’t deserve abuse like Lala, because unlike her she’s demure and submissive.

Nia is the perfect victim, because despite her repeated choices to enable Danny and his behavior, she’s too beautiful and white and submissive to call her out.

Never mind that she goes to a suspect cultish church.

Never mind that she never addressed the assault sans that one dinner; onlyaddressing it for the opportunity to cry about her childhood and claim that Danny is her reward for a tough life.

Nia is a classic story of women who get with awful men, chasing an unrealistic fairytale and thinking their ignorance will get them to the cloud over the rainbow. He’s an obvious misogynistic alcoholic and she is 10 toes down for him every time. And she IS OKAY WITH THAT.

She’s okay with other women being slandered and insulted and harmed because she views herself as a “good woman”, and she thinks she’s above other women. Danny and their lifestyle is her idea of a reward for being the ‘good white woman’.

Nia is the victim, and she will be for the rest of her life because she wants to be

Schwartz and Luke were on watch what happens live last night and a caller asked about Scheana and Lala. She asked if he talked to her and Brock, if they were any closer to becoming friends again with Lala and what happened between Scheana and Lala. Schwartz said it’s really frosty and he doesn’t want to approach it all and he doesn’t see them ever becoming friends again. And then Luke drops this little birthday gift and says all he “ knows is it has something to do with the kids schooling”

Can we also take a moment for the tipsy queen in her bathroom with her champagne? You could tell Andy clearly loved that.