r/antisocial

I understand that this may be insensitive to those who struggle genuinely with mutism and the issues that come from it but I just need to know if I’m not alone in thinking this way.

I want to go mute so that people will be less likely and willing to talk and engage with me. It’s horrible but engaging with people socially at work and in society is such a dreadful part of my daily life that I just can’t help but want to just go mute

I don't even know how to explain this properly, but lately I've been craving genuine conversations. Not necessarily friendship, not necessarily anything specific I just want to have someone to talk to.

For the past few days, I've genuinely been trying. I've joined random Instagram GCs, tried initiating conversations, messaged people first, and even made another account so I could interact with people anonymously. But somehow, I just can't seem to get anywhere.

The frustrating part is that I actually want to talk. I love books, politics, random ideas, opinions, life basically anything that can turn into an interesting conversation. I don't want every conversation to be deep or intellectual, but I do want something beyond the usual "hey, wyd?" and then nothing.

But I don't know how to keep a conversation going.

I can start one. I've tried. But somewhere along the way, I run out of things to say or start overthinking everything. I'm scared of saying the wrong thing, coming across as awkward, or just being boring.

And then I watch other people.

I've spent the last two or three days in an Instagram GC watching people talk. Someone completely new joins, says "hi," and within minutes they're laughing and talking like they've known each other forever. They make it look ridiculously easy.

Meanwhile, I've been sitting there for days wondering how I'm supposed to enter the conversation.

I genuinely admire people who can do that. At the same time, I can't help being jealous of how naturally it seems to come to them. I keep thinking, how do you guys do this?

Sometimes at night, I put my phone down and stare at the ceiling wondering if there's something wrong with me. I used to think maybe it was my appearance or my awkwardness around people, but a lot of these people don't even know what I look like or who I am. So I don't even know what I'm supposed to fix.

I know this isn't some huge life problem. People have much bigger things going on. But sometimes I get this sudden urge to talk, to have a completely normal conversation, and then I realise there's genuinely no one I can talk to at that moment.

I'm not writing this to get sympathy or to make anyone feel bad for me. I think I just needed to put this somewhere because I don't really have anyone to say it to.

For people who used to struggle with this: how did you learn to actually talk to people and keep conversations going? Did it ever become natural for you?

Is anyone else just so sick of society and done with it? To the point you hate to leave the house, drive anywhere, or Heaven forbid have to attempt to reach a f-ing human being on the phone vs this AI/robot $hit?
Common sense and courtesy are extinct, along with peoples work ethic. And not to mention consideration! 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

I feel like i'm always nice to everyone but they are never nice to me. It happens everyday, every single day .......let me give you an example, i had to go somewhere to do my work and mind my own business, but an acquaintance/friend asked if i had already left my house and i said i havn't. They asked my to buy something that they had forgotten to get (they gave specifics), so i went to the shops to get it , i reached and called them to pay for the item but they said they were already buying it from some other shop and didn't need me to get it anymore. I stood there like an idiot, they didn't even care to call or text me to not waste my time to get it. what do you guys think?

So I just told this girl "I was talking to J" calling him j because I don't wanna expose his name. So I told her that and this girl was like "Ew you talk to him?? He's so ugly he doesn't deserve to live he is not even human." My jaw kinda dropped and she said "What?? He is ugly and ugly people aren't even human." At 1st I thought people who didn't like people were weird and now I see why. And this isn't the 1st time I saw someone act like this it happened multiple times so I started to understand. Now I see why people wanna be alone and are anti social. People are evil.

I don't have any social skills to begin with I stutter while talking, i feel scared and inferior in groups as I don't have much interests, no hobby. I want to find out something so I can live my life happily. My mood always stays gloomy. Nothing interests me anymore whether it is travelling, gaming, sports, gym, watching movies, shows animes, no music.

Sometimes I think getting a girlfriend could change my mindset but that is just a excuse. I have never been in a relationship. I feel like I have missed something in life. I am 23yr old btw.

What can I do!? Suggest something. (Can't d*e either)

Is that weird??

Not like, camo miniskirt

Like, German surplus thermal pant liners and long Johns and stuff like that… how weird is that?

Like watch list weird?

I’m not in the military but my grandparents were and my boyfriend went to military school… I like stories

I get absolutely nothing out of socializing online. I have to see people irl to feel emotionally connected but everyone else just lives in a completely different world. I have one friend and we are really more like family friends. It’s already hard enough to connect with people in the real world I don’t know how people manage to do so through a screen and now a days you usually have to do that first when meeting people. I get so scared I’ll never get real friends again or find someone who can put up enough with me to stick around.

I keep hearing people around my age say the same thing: “I don't have many friends anymore and I don't know how to meet new people.” And honestly, I completely understand it.

What I find interesting, though, is that even when you do meet people, making an actual friendship seems so much harder now.

When I was younger, I feel like making friends was so effortless. You could meet someone, start talking, joke around, have a random conversation, and suddenly you were friends. There wasn't so much analyzing whether you had enough in common, whether your personalities matched perfectly, whether someone said the wrong thing, etc. You just kind of clicked and went with it.

Now it feels like people are much more selective about who they let into their lives. Which I understand, obviously we're older and have more responsibilities, less free time, and probably less patience for people who aren't a good fit. But sometimes I wonder if we've taken the “finding the right people” thing a little too far.

I've also tried hanging out with Gen Z, and honestly, as much as I try, I just don't feel like I naturally fit in. It's not that I dislike them at all. I just feel like there's a different humor, communication style, and overall vibe. I find myself connecting much more naturally with people who grew up around the same time I did.

So I'm curious: do other millennials feel this way?

Do you feel like making friends became significantly harder once you hit your 30s? And when you meet new people, do you also feel like there's much more “picking and choosing” compared to when you were younger?

Or maybe I'm just getting old. 😂

Hello I’m a 34M moved to Oshawa. I work 7 - 5pm and got stuff to do after work and I’m back home 10pm. The mistake I made when I moved to Canada some 7 years ago and stayed in Toronto, was telling myself I’ll socialize when I have more time. Now I move from one time consuming job to another. Now I’m married with 2 kids and have absolutely no friends. Just now realized that friends are important especially as a man getting older. I’ve learnt the hard way about making my colleagues friends so although I spend most time at work or on the road to work, I have no friends.

whether it’s with my family, or people outside of my family, i hate it. there’s a reason why i only have online friends. less pressure without the stress that usually comes with it. saying anything in general is exhausting. the idea of it is quite nice in my head but when it comes to me actually talking, i realize just how much i hate it. i don’t care for relationships with anyone and if anything i prefer it that way. that’s it

Is that required or expected?

I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or not. Most people seem cruel and shallow and greedy and ignorant much of the time and it’s hard to trust them. I have a few people I love and trust who have proven themselves to me but I’m coming to realize I don’t even care to be around most people and the effort of dealing with them is starting to outweigh any occasional FOMO I feel.

I’ve been treated for depression and see a therapist regularly, I’m taking care of my mental health, I just don’t like most people. Does anyone else feel that way? I feel like you’re supposed to like people but I generally don’t.

..God ...I had to use reddit after all the search 😭

I'm dead here searching for someone who has following characteristics:

🌷 Doesn't like to socialize.

🌷 Stays away from fake people.

🌷 Fears girls

🌷 Doesn't trust easily

🌷 Doesn't care for social media ..

🌷 Doesn't care for money

🌷 Doesn't care for status

🌷 Never lies...(Can be rarely) Always honest

🌷 Wants to be understood.

🌷 Is not an atheist and doesn't hate people of other religion .

🌷 Is 6feet+ something tall...🫣

🌷 Gender : Male offc

🌷 Age : 17-20

🌷 Dark beige skin 🦇

🌷 Sharp jaw ( ...😬..)

🌷 Grey eyes 🩶 or can he black

🌷 Black hair ...

🌷 Doesn't get distracted easily.

🌷 Can stay wid m till last breath

🌷 IS an introvert.

🌷 Being rude is okay ... actually i don't care of you're rude...

🌷 Is realistic

🌷 Talks less(wid people and only sharing wid me)

🌷 And is handsome offfx

🌷Is never been in relationship 😮‍💨🫠 cause I've never been either..

If you..yes you my dream man...have all these please ....reach me.. I've been finding you since long!.

My MBIT: INFJ.

I really don't care about an MBIt.....actually it should have the same characters I mentioned above...

Suggest me any philosopher's book similar to Shankaracharya's philosophy or there can be fully opposite philosopher also

I know I've been posting on Reddit a lot recently and I feel like a whiny crybaby but I've been asking my friends about wanting to come to my birthday party that's on the 29th. I've been planning it for nearly a month and I've set up short Google forms for them to vote on like what games are there because I'm not sure what they like, and what food to buy, what music to put in a playlist, because I'm trying to he considerate of them and let them have stuff that actually interest them too and not just me.

Only 3 of the 10 people I sent it to actually responded and two of the 3 aren't even sure if they can come. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or if they don't like me or something and I try to be cheerful and be myself but it feels like I'm not much to them. I don't know if they do care about me and just don't show it much, (besides a couple) or if I'm just not good enough for them.

What do I do in this situation? I want to feel like part of something and not just a side friend that doesn't add much.

Edit: I didn't mention before, but I'm turning 16