r/artofclowning

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A week or so after graduation, we were invited by one of our own clowns to do rounds at a memory center where she was the administrator. This would be an exciting day for us. I mean, we had shadowed before, but this would be our first time as leads.

When we arrived, we gathered in the lobby for a briefing on the guidelines the facility had put forth concerning the patients. This mostly covered HIPAA laws, but there was one protocol that stuck out to us. Even though some of the patients may have reverted back to their childhood mentally, they wanted us to treat them as adults. This was to “give them the respect they deserved.”

I held that thought in mind as we broke up into groups and started our rounds. Now, each group was assigned a “tour guide” who would take us around to the patients “bungalows” (living quarters) to ask them if they’d like a clown visit while we waited in the hallway. This was so we could avoid those who didn’t wish to see us (and those who were coulrophobic). Our guide would also let us know which patient we were seeing, how long they had been there, and a little about them (such as interests and hobbies) prior to knocking.

As we made our way down the first hallway, we noticed one patient – a tiny, elderly woman in a night gown and clinging to a teddy bear – was watching us from a distance. By the time we made it down to the end of the hall, she was watching us from around the corner. Our guide turned to us and told us that her name was Mary and that she had been there for about six months or so.

Ting turned to her and asked if we could sing for her. Mary came out from around the corner, nodded, and slowly walked towards us. Everything about her reminded me of a six year old child. The way she moved, her behavior, the look in her eyes… just like a first-grader seeing a circus for the first time.

Ting started singing “Mary had a Little Lamb” with Twang and I quickly joining in. Within seconds, Mary was lit up with joy. By the time the song was over, she was dancing around with the three of us in the hallway.

Next, we sang “She’d be Coming Around the Mountain,” then “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” By the time we were finished, Mary was glowing and floating on air. And, as we were saying our farewells, she turned to Ting and gently said, “Thank you.”

“That’s the first time Mary’s said a word since she’s been here,” our guide told us as we walked back to the lobby, “and all because you saw her as a child.”

Ting just smiled. She knew that it wasn’t Mary’s age that needed the respect, it was Mary herself.

A week later, we found that the facility decided to revise their policy a bit. We were also told that we had broken Mary out of her shell. She wasn’t just speaking again, she was telling stories.

Guess that’s just the power of happiness.

(Photo: Ting)

Circa 2011? 2012?

(I'm missing because I took the photo.)

We were still in our first few months of clowning when we were invited to do rounds at an ALF (Assisted Living Facility) in their “Bite Ward.” This, of course, meant we had to do a bit of prep beforehand. As most of us were still Joeys at the time, that meant “restraint training,’ just in case one of the patients turned violent on us., We had to learn how to protect ourselves without injuring that patient. And, as the name “Bite Ward” suggests, there was a high likelihood that we would have to use this training at some point in our future. Dementia is unpredictable by nature.

Unfortunately, that training only covered what to do if they became unruly. No one gave us instructions on what to do if they became flirtatious.

Five out of our Alley went that day, including my mother (Ting), my wife (Twang), and myself. Our little group had clowned a few times together by then, so we were familiar with everyone else’s routines. We were booked for about an hour (which usually meant we’d be there for an hour and a half, because… you know, we’re clowns). But, nothing that day would go as planned. Once those double doors with the digital lock box closed behind us, all our plans went out through the vents. (It’s a Bite Ward. There weren’t any windows,)

As soon as the patients saw a small, assorted collection of clowns come in, they dropped everything and flocked towards us like seagulls spotting a kid with french fries.

Within seconds, we were separated. I was cornered right away by a few… let’s say, elderly women who had the damnedest time keeping their hands to themselves. But, it wasn’t long before I was rescued by Ting and Twang. You know, once they finished laughing.

It took a spell for things to calm down enough, but as soon as it did, we started to make our rounds. That’s when I met Nina, a former thespian from Europe, and quite the star in her day.

Nina spoke something like twelve languages. English was just one of them - and it wasn’t her native tongue. However, she spoke it with the fluency of a porn star. Similar vocabulary as well.

When Nina became excited, she would switch languages on us, expecting us to understand what she had said. The nurse following us around had to keep reminding her, “English, Nina. English.” We heard that phrase every five minutes or so.

When it came time to move on to the next patient, Nina tried to block the door to prevent me from leaving. I had to be rescued again.

At the end of our time, we all gathered for a group photo with the patients and staff. That was like a game of musical chairs, quite honestly. And, I was the first one without a seat. Sadly, this didn’t mean that I was left out of the photo. No. Of course not. This meant that there was only one place for me to go… and that was kneeling front and center, with Nina right behind me.

Slowly, I walked to my mark and began to bend down to make sure Nina could be seen in the shot. That’s when things went south… and, by “thing,” I mean Nina’s fingers.

It was a Joey mistake, for sure. I should have known better to put my butt anywhere within reach of a woman with the strong urge to pinch it. And, damn! What a grip!

But, the photo came out great. I was captured jumping up in the air with the biggest look of surprise on my face, Nina with an ear-to-ear grin, and everyone else around us laughing. From what I was told later, they framed it. It’s hanging on the wall right outside Nina’s room.

I had that bruise for a week.

(Photo: Ting & Twang)

Ting the Caribbean Clown

Happy Mother's Day!

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name's Mojo. Mojo the Wayward Magician. I was a volunteer with Hospice for a few years as a Caring Clown. Those days are long gone now, but the clown in me lives on.

If you'd like, I'd love to regale you all with some tales of my adventures with clowning, both from the days of old and from the pages we are still writing. I'll even throw in a sing-a-long or two.

Who would like to take a walk down Memory Lane with me? I might even buy you an ice cream cone when it's all done.