r/blackparents

I’d really love to hear from Black adults who personally experienced this growing up. If you had to choose between:

Option A: A school with excellent academics, strong resources, opportunities, and a great reputation—but you were one of the few Black students.

Option B: A school where you would have been surrounded by more Black students and had more cultural representation and a stronger sense of seeing people who looked like you—but the academics and opportunities weren't as strong.

Which would you have chosen for yourself?

And now that you're older and can reflect on the experience:

Did being one of the only Black kids affect your confidence, identity, friendships, or sense of belonging?

Did you ever wish there were more people who looked like you at your school?

Did the academic opportunities make being in the minority worth it?

Did you experience racism, microaggressions, or feeling like an outsider? If so, how much did that affect you?

Did attending a predominantly white school ultimately benefit you in ways you didn't appreciate until you became an adult?

If you could go back and choose differently, would you?

If you had children today, would you make the same school choice for them?

I'm asking because I'm trying to understand this from the perspective of the child who actually lived it, rather than just getting opinions from parents or educators.

Please be honest—even if your experience doesn't fit neatly into either option.

If you could go back to your childhood and choose between academic excellence and greater racial/cultural representation, which would you pick, and why?

I live in Canada ( Quebec ) and have a 1 year old and a 2.5 year old that are biracial (black mom white dad). We currently live in a predominantly white neighborhood not because we wanted to but home ownership in the city was too expensive and in order to get a home we had to move out of the main city.

They currently attend a diverse daycare which I love but the cost is preventing us from getting ahead and having a quality of life, savings and so on. It is currently costing us 2000$ a month.

We got a call from a subsidized daycare which would cost 400 a month total for both kids. Financially we can't afford to not accept the spots. Having the extra money would really change our quality of life.

It's a nice daycare in a nice neighborhood. It's new with a big yard and I read really good reviews.What I hate is that there is very little diversity. Most of the educators are white as well as the kids. I know my kids are young but I really worry if it'll negatively impact them.

They would stay there until age 5 and my goal is to move to a more diverse area in the next few years after daycare or at least send them to a more diverse elementary school and high school.

idk if anyone else has parents like this but i want mine to do so much better. i try so hard but they don’t want to change and it hurts. one thing my mother in particular does is rewatch old television shows we used to watch together when i was younger. everybody hates chris, my wife and kids, family feud, bernie mac, everybody loves raymond, basically shows on that “new” channel. it got to the point where she is quoting the shows cool i get it. but my mum is in her late 50’s just don’t want her to start shutting out the world cause i feel like ill start to resent my folks if that happens. mum’ already a narcissist and pa’s emotionally numb and im neurodivergent so conversations are very difficult. just want the best for mum. thanks 💙

I’m 15 and i live in my parents home and my parents don’t wash bedsheets as often, like this may sound gross but my parents wash sheets less than maybe 10 times a year, like the sheets are different shades. i ask to do it but they delay it and i end up washing it like a month after i told them i want to do it. i thought it may be a black thing idk??