r/bleedingcanvas

"What happened to you? You look like a cat really didn't like you"

"What do you me- oh yeah. That... (How do I explain this to the kid?) You mean these scratch marks don't you?"

"Yes, they look like they hurt a lot."

"They did hurt a bit but they are healing now. So I am getting better again."

"They look weird. I never saw a cat make marks like those."

"It is because they weren't made by a cat, little Mia."

"If a cat didn't make them... what hurt you then?"

Luce sighed, as she watched the birds chirping and jumping around in the park from the bench she was sitting at with Mia.

"This will be a bit difficult for me to explain to you because it will confuse you. But the short answer is, I did this to myself."

"You did it? But why? Why hurt yourself? This looks like you must have been in a lot of pain?"

"In a way I was in a lot of pain. You know, there is visible pain and invisible pain-

"What is invisible pain?"

"It is pain you hide so no one can see it?"

"Why hide pain? That means others can not make it better again."

"That's right. Remember when your friend Alan didn't invite you to the play date last week because he wanted to play with Veronica instead?"

"Yes, that hurt."

"Yeah, I can imagine it hurt quite a bit. But did you let Alan know it hurt you?"

"No. He is friends with Veronica too after all. It is fair that he also plays with her sometimes. I didn't want to make him feel bad for playing with her."

"See. You didn't want to make him feel bad. Some people hide a lot of their pain for the same reason. They don't want to make others feel bad."

"I still don't understand how that makes you do this."

"One lesson I have learned... pain doesn't go away when you hide it... It stays. And it gets often worse."

"That doesn't sound fun.."

"It is not. But yeah... That is why some people - people like me - Do hurt ourselves. It's an attempt to make the pain go away"

"Does it make the pain go away?"

"No, not really. More often than not it makes it worse actually."

"That sounds dumb. Why do that then?"

"Because... sigh I think that explanation can wait a few more years until you are older. The short version is... Sometimes it feels like it makes sense. Even if it doesn't."

"I still don't get it."

"And that little one is a good thing. You are not supposed to get it. You are not supposed to hide your pain, even less so hide it until it gets too much. You are supposed to reach out to your family and friends and let them be there for you. Even if it makes them feel bad... Sometimes it is just like that."

"So... should I tell Alan that him not inviting me to the play date hurt me?"

"It can help. After all the pain is just as real as bruising your knee during due to falling from the bike. Maybe tell him you would like to play with him again? Maybe all of you three can even play together?"

"That sounds... good I think. I'll remember that."

"Mia... One more thing... if you or a friend of yours thinks of hurting yourself... please come to an adult you trust... or me. Okay? This... This is serious and... just remember it. I'll be here for you if you ever need me. For anything. Even if it feels like you are asking too much of me. You won't."

"You are so dramatic, Aunt Luce! I will never do that, I promi-"

"You don't need to promise me. I trust you, ok? And even if it ever gets bad... I trust you to come to me. I appreciate your attempt at a promise tho... I just have bad experience with promises around this subject. That's why I don't want ya to promise me. Now hush, we have ice cream to get before your parents come home!"

"You are weird, Aunt Luce!"

"Yes, yes I am. And there is nothing wrong about being weird."