The pain which no one talks about...
maybe it's gonna be a long read so sorry guys..
so it's been more than five years since my daadi passed away they say but idts bcz she's still alive in those tiny tiny teachings which she gave me that I try to do..no? or maybe it's just me who finds excuses to not completely believe that she's gone.
yk what i was 3 when my father d!ed and since then she saw her own son in me, in her life i never ever had one dull moment, she would always make me favourite food, yk what she used to ask..she would go like "duniya mein sabse meethi chiz kya hai?" and i would go clueless but she will say "boli, humesha apni zuban narm rkhna."
she used to call me babuu pyar se, she's one of the strongest women I've seen in my entire life, she never feared death she always wished to dîe without having to do bed rest, and it happened like that onlyyy...
my world started and ended with her when she was here but after her departure, ppl rushed to show the real world and every time I thought things would get better they didn't!
tho i know that I am capable of handling all this but ONLY with her, with her nothing seemed tough..she was my first love and the pain still lingers
yk when I got to know that she's not more I was so numb that i didn't even cry... imagine being 13 and having that thought..i just wanted to hold upon my family members i was busy in consoling them
but after 2 or 3 months i found myself alone in a room and i broke down like hell...so so soo much that words cannot express i still get those tears with same intensity but it's just that I am learning that i need to be alive to keep her dreams alive, make her proud someday.