r/fartology

This is a guy I used to work with habit in bed..

He was only married about a year.

And he told me his wife wanted to enhance the bed time activities..

He used to joke how easy it was to clear the workshop..

Because when he farted mate you needed a gas mask.

Fuck didn't it ever stink.

Anyway back to his bedroom antics

They started this one night .

In bed one would fart with the other under the sheets

They timed how long each could stay under the bed clothes.

after each farted.

Hey it was easy too see who one .

the Dutch ovens experiment..

She came out straight away.and went to the window for fresh air..

He stayed under and said he kissed her ass ..so many times he couldn't remember. Lol

So he won Dutch ovens .and she needed Oxygen..no no

Just joking...

.

If ya think about it

This is a selection of Farts in church.

Some are fact.. Others a bit of comical thinking.

Well this I a true one..

When I was a school boy back then it was part of Sunday ritual to go too church..

During prayers most bent over.. Or ok bow your head down..

It was only a small congregation so any noise. Really sounds out.

This lady always sat in the Front Row.

And she bent over too pray would usually fart..

Anyway one night she farted and the bloke next to her did too.

My Dad piped up oh a Duet there son.

Sniggering..

But soon after in the same prayers we had a Triple fart.. Most I could see were laughing but not out loud..

My Dad whispered.. Name that Tune..

In UK that was a TV program.. Of the same name.

A bloke sitting next to me.. Said it's not a tune.. It's a film Gone with the Wind..

I think even the Vicar in his pulpit let out a smile..

Dad smells like she had Brussel Sprouts for lunch..

Perhaps they should supply clothes pegs on the shelf.

Most sat back some were in tears of laughter. Or more than like the smell made their eyes water...

All trying to control that with there hands over there mouths.

But to top it all as the fat lady stood up to sing. Which was what most did.. To sing I mean.

She let out a rip roarer of a Fart.

Some bloke shouted out JESUS CHRIST..

The Vicar replied Bless u Sir..

I was like damn what is going on it just kept going and then my guts turned over a bit and I realized I had maybe 45 seconds max to get to a shitter.

It kind of annoyed me because I had been to Walmart earlier today and I normally take my diabolical dumps there when possible.

Love the Dreamcast though!

I was in this band with a friend of a friend a few years ago and just saw him in person again, he played the bass guitar. We practiced our music in my basement and one day he farts and it's such a thick heavy fart that as I'm singing I start coughing bc of it. I had to open the door real quick and THANK GOD I was close to the door. It was hella annoying in the moment but I think of this story more often than I should.

Seeing him in person recently, I brought up the story at this party I saw him at and we all had a laugh. I asked him if he eats a lot of fiber, to which he replied "yes". Which yeah, that makes a lot of sense.. Fiber will do that to you. But still maybe the gnarliest fart I've experienced ever. Can't help but think it's badass (or should I say ratass lmao).

But I'm still breathing...

For me, it’s a putrid sewage corpse-like decaying organ. Happened last night. Can’t get over it.