r/fashionwomens35

37f. Struggling to find shorts that are acceptable (ie not booty shorts) but also not super dorky looking longer lengths ( some women look super sophisticated in these but I just look like a massive dork).

The trouble I have is honestly prefer the vibe of and look for my body in shorter more casual shorts (I have great quads), but then I feel inappropriate out in the world in these. And tbh a little trashy looking. I live in a hot, humid environment so shorts are a bit of a prerequisite. 🫠

I want to look and feel cute and confident but also age appropriate. Any recommendations on shorts for my age and goals?

Here’s my problem. When I want to find clothes, search is useless. I type “minimal linen coat” into Google or a retailer and get either a wall of sponsored junk, fast-fashion dupes, or 4,000 results sorted by nothing that matters to me. Pinterest is gorgeous but I can’t actually buy anything without a 20-minute reverse-image hunt. Instagram just shows me whatever brands paid to put there. And Amazon… is Amazon.

What I actually want is dead simple: a feed that quietly learns my taste and shows me beautiful pieces I’d never have found, with a way to just buy the thing. Not a chatbot I have to interrogate. Not a search box. Just scroll, and the longer I scroll the more it gets me — like if Pinterest and a really good personal stylist had a baby, and it was shoppable.

1. Does this frustration resonate, or is it just me being picky?
2. How do you discover clothes you actually like right now?

I'm trying to experiment more with my jewelry. I have always liked beaded jewelry, but I didn't think it was age-appropriate when I was younger. (I found it was mostly worn on older women.) I would like to buy a beaded necklace or two, but I don't want it to look cheap, tacky, or make me look older. What are some general guidelines to avoid this?

I'm thinking:

-only natural gemstones
-either neutral colors or soft tones
-smaller bead size (like maybe 6-8mm)
-maybe a shorter length would look better (16" instead of 18")
-sterling silver findings (no plated gold)

Do you agree with this? Do you have anything else to add? Any photos of a qualifying piece?

I wear mainly neutrals and some blue and I am very fair and cool-toned. What color(s) do you recommend?

Also, if you have any store recommendations, please share!

Hey there! 39 year old looking for recommendations on flattering jeans for someone with a bigger tummy. Ideally straight leg and high rise. I’ve got some stubborn belly fat due to age and having a kid, and it’s been a nightmare finding cute jeans since I became a mom!

Hello fashion adults: I need short sleeved tops to wear to work. Casual business casual. My preference would be woven, maybe with some kind of collar?

It is ten bazillion degrees where I live- I will die if I wear long sleeves. I also can't commit to armpit shaving every morning, so I can't survive on just sleeveless tops.

I have a large bust/small band. Cropped shirts expose 2-4 inches more on me than they do on other folks, which is not job appropriate. Everything I've found that isn't cropped is boxy AF which with my bust, looks like I am trying hide a pregnancy. Many shirts are BOTH cropped and boxy, and this is HILARIOUSLY bad on me.

I just bought five or six shirts each from Boden, Nordstrom, J Crew, Banana, Gap, and Loft, and I am returning every single one.

Any suggestions on where I should be looking?

EDIT: thank you for the Tshirt suggestions, but that is too casual for my business casual workplace. Otherwise keep them coming! It seems like I am not alone in this search.

Picked up my first wide-brim felt hat (after trying a Panama straw last summer) and honestly I'm obsessed. I went with a neutral tan conner hats style, figuring it was a safe bet for trying something new, and despite reading mixed online reviews about felt hats looking too costume-y, I have to say the response has been surprisingly positive. I live in Portland, Oregon where it's not exactly common to see women in structured wide-brim hats, but I've noticed a few interesting things whenever I wear it:

1. People are significantly more polite and engaged. I get a lot of "yes ma'am" and acknowledgment, it's genuinely interesting. Also, almost everyone greets you or at least makes eye contact as you walk past...in stores, on the street, wherever. Almost like people feel obligated to acknowledge you.
2. Most surprisingly, many women have told me they love it, and several have asked me where I got it or said they've been thinking about getting one but no one has called me Tex or accused me of being a "fake cowgirl" or anything negative like that.
3. Men seem to really notice it. I'm in a relationship and not looking for attention, but let me be honest, men definitely seem drawn to the hat.

It's clearly something that makes you stand out...so be ready for that, but I've genuinely enjoyed the experience of incorporating the hat into my wardrobe. Adds a bit of edge and confidence to otherwise simple outfits.

What do you guys wear "going out"? Whether it's dates or meeting up with friends (or colleagues), I have no idea what to wear. To clarify, I'm referring to Going Out on the Town, not going to the yarn store and then heading to your friends to complain about your supervisor / the economy.

I feel like everything is either geared towards 20 year olds (no shade but my body literally does not fit inside the clothes) or like, gives *Mother of the Bride*.
Online, I'm seeing lots of menswear inspired things or "prep" but that is VERY VERY much so not me. If you DO wear prep / menswear inspired styles - how do you style them to look trendy?

If I wear Jeans and a Going Out Top, what's the key to making it look current and not like I kept my clothes from 2010?

What is the optimal weather and season?

I’m heading to a women’s gathering in Mendocino County that’s outdoors/camping with classes during the day, and some festive gatherings in the evenings and I’m completely overthinking what to wear.

The weather is supposed to be upper 70s during the day but drop into the 40s at night, so I’m trying to balance practical layering with not feeling wildly out of place.

For context, I’m 48 and live in New Hampshire where the default wardrobe is basically:

yoga pants and sweatshirts

skinny jeans and oversized tees

Or younger women in cropped tops, wide leg jeans, and oversized flannels

My personal style is… very not trendy.

I absolutely hate synthetic fabrics, so my wardrobe is almost entirely cotton, linen, merino wool, cashmere, silk, and down. I wear a lot of J. Jill, Eileen Fisher, J. Crew, Born sandals, and Blundstones.

Outside of business clothes, I mostly wear:

wide leg linen pants

tunic style tops

calf-length linen dresses

Linen ankle pants layered underneath dresses

stone jewelry

natural earthy colors like beige, brown, black, white, and coral

All my jeans are wide leg or bootcut, but I’m not really a cropped top person. I usually just do a front tuck with sweaters or shirts.

The overall vibe is probably more “coastal grandma" than festival fashion.

I know Mendocino County has more of a natural/hippie/outdoorsy culture, but I genuinely have no idea what women actually wear and I don’t want to show up feeling frumpy, overly East Coast, or weirdly formal/minimalist.

I’m not opposed to shopping if I’m missing something important, but I do have a massive wardrobe — I just don’t even know what direction to go in. If anyone has examples, outfit ideas, or can describe the general vibe realistically, I’d really appreciate it.

Durability been my biggest complaint and I just want something thats still chic to go to work to. Obviously I want a spacious, reliable shoulder bag that can handle the occasional grocery run, a water bottle, and a heavy planner without looking completely bulky or warped.

What are your most recommended daily tote that actually holds up beautifully over the years? Figured this would be the best sub to ask this thanks!

Looking for shorts recommendations that are great for everyday casual wear. I am a stay at home parent so I don’t need to dress up for work, just want comfy and casual.

I’m at the heaviest weight I’ve been and have become very self conscious in shorts. My closet currently has bike shorts and denim shorts. The denim I like, but I feel like the bike shorts tightness emphasizes the extra weight I’ve put on. I’d love some specific recommendations for either sporty shorts that aren’t bike shorts or even other casual shorts. Thanks!

For reference, I’m 170 lbs, 5’2” and generally a size 14.

I turned 39 yesterday, and my wife planned a birthday weekend that included a couple opportunities for us to "get dressed up" or go out "looking chic" - something I love but we never find the time to do.* As I planned various outfits in my head (my favorite past time)

I realized that most of where my mind was going were just sexier stylings of the same clothes I wear to work. I'm kind of struggling with this existentially.

As a young lawyer, I had one half of my closet that was work and one half that was play. In all aspects of my life I was known for my style, but there was next to no overlap between the two sides of my life. This was pre-covid, I was single and dating, going out a lot, I worked out 4-6x per week and looked like it; my play clothes were fashionable and slutty. On the other hand, I was at a more conservative firm, establishing myself in my career, and while I was always way more fashion forward than most people in my work community, I dressed more traditionally than I do now.

Fast forward, I'm a partner at a smaller boutique firm, happily settled down but with terrible work/life balance, I work out far less than I would like and look like it, and I've realized that there's no longer really any division in my dressing room. I have a few tops that I wouldn't wear to the office, but mostly I'm just going to button a few less buttons on that satin blouse, or swap a camisole for a bralette under the same sheer shirt I wore with a suit the week before.

And I don't know how to feel about this!! On the one hand, I feel authentic that I'm at a place in my career that I'm respected enough I can push the boundaries of what can be considered one of the least fashionable industries in a city known for having the most boring fashion. And I recognize that part of this is the direction that fashion has taken - suits and blazers are fashionable outside of the professional context. But I can't help but feel...idk how to describe it - a little old and boring?

Anyone else relate?

(*this ended up being hypothetical since I have celiac and had a gluten exposure on Friday, resulting of a weekend in bed ruminating - hence this post! 😂😭)

Hello divas! I am running a conference at work this week (academia, environmental research vibe) and one of the days will be a scorcher ~90° F. It’s the first hot day of the year, and it’s an anomaly because it’s still been 40s/50s and then will return to these temps later this week so I’m not really acclimated to the heat yet.

I have a pair of black 100% linen barrel leg pants from Banana Republic and I’m wondering if you think I could get away with these for the hot day of the event. Maybe paired with a nice shoe and short sleeve blouse? They hit around the ankle so they look tailored. I’ll probably be mostly sitting at the sign in table, and setting up poster boards ahead of the reception if that helps at all. It’s the shortest day of the event since it’s mostly in the evening.

I have alternative choices, but honestly I’m concerned about being sweaty and gross because I get hot easily so just wanted to get opinions 😂 thank you!

I’ve watched the YouTube tutorials on how to be specific in searches but all I’m ending up with are Amazon ads and early 2015 style.

Does anyone have suggestions/could teach me? I’m trying to pull things back together after having kids and was thinking Pinterest + Alta but both neither feel right to capture what I’m looking for.

My three words would be something along the lines of:
Relaxed - textured - alluring
Soft - layered - playful (in a subtle sexiness, not big bold color)

Sometimes I think my taste is stuck much younger than I am. I’m GenX and i have different style for different events or moods.
So I’m looking at pale pink and blue tops or pants but think they are too young. Am I just in my head?
Like a 50 year old woman in pink pants and a cute top. Is that too much? I’m sure there is some ingrained bs I can’t name that makes me even ask this question but I do not want to look like I think I’m 25.
I just cut my hair from long to collarbone and am regretting it frankly. Thinking it was too young.

Should I just buy the damn pants? Or is it cringey?! 😬 or are they out of style and that’s why you think ew stop.

I have stayed away from shorts for years but I want to try them this summer. Looking for shorts in fun colors that are long enough to sit without booty and thigh spillage and that have pockets big enough for phone and baby monitor. Any recommendations? Thanks!

My work “uniform” is black ponte knit trousers and a sweater three seasons a year, but in summer i wear lighter weight tops, some of which are sleeveless. My current workplace is pretty aggressively air conditioned so I’d like to wear something on top. In the past I wore a lightweight loose black cardigan but it has finally met its demise. I don’t want anything structured—I have to bend, raise arms, etc, and my workplace is firmly business casual, but I’m open to cardigans, shackets, etc.

Hi friends,

I'm 5'9", mostly legs, I think I'm a subtle hourglass shape.

I need long pants or dresses that hit the right length...

My jeans are usually like 31 or 32" inseam, but so many of the flowy linen-type pants I see and want to love are made for shorter women. (Such a drag to see the perfect pants and the person's like "I'm five two and they fit perfectly!")

I lost a lot of weight and need some skin reduction surgery, so I want good but light coverage of my legs and upper arms, our summers can get to be high 90s at a minimum.

My budget isn't immense, but I'm willing to invest maybe $80 per garment if it's really well made. (Smaller wardrobe of good quality pieces is the goal.)

Can anyone help me find some ideas? Tall girls, what are your plans for the summer?

TLDR: flowy summer clothes with some arm coverage and 31+" inseam.