r/getting_over_it

Hi Everyone, I don’t know why life feels so tough at this moment. I never thought that reaching mid-20s would be this difficult. Since the starting of my college, I had a very small group of friends and apart from friends I had a lot of acquaintances and I used to be surrounded by them. I was active in co curricular activities and I was leading NSS at my university due to which I got to meet a lot of people. I almost visited every university in Delhi and met people from there. It used to be a great learning experience.

When I joined my masters, I used to be with people but masters is something where you barely get time and I used to be in my studies. In second year, I got diagnosed with mixed anxiety and depression disorder and I was on medications. I disoriented myself with everyone and then the realisation hit me that the people who were my friends never tried to reach out to me and to ask what is going on with me.

My so called best friend with whom I am friends since class 6th also never prioritised me even I have disclosed upfront that I am dealing with a rough patch in life and I need him. Still, he used to ignore my calls and never called me back. He has this repeated pattern that the moment he gets into a relationship, he makes his entire world and life around that person only. He did the same when he got into a relationship.

I never thought that I’ll see the transition from being a yapper to somebody who is just silent and confused. Life feels tough at this moment when you don’t have people. Sometimes when you tell people about what you are going through then all you expect is to be heard. Idk it takes a lot of efforts to tell people about our problems. I wish there is a way out.

недавно расстался с девушкой, с которой было приятно проводить время, мы дружили и было все хорошо, потом почему то решили начать встречаться, это было очень большой ошибкой, провстречались мы месяц и расстались, а кроме нее у меня никого небыло, мы очень много времени вместе проводили, даже до отношений, и сейчас прошел уже наверное месяц, мне всё ещё грустно, пытался найти какую нибудь другую подругу, именно подругу, потому что с девушками у меня общение лучше чем с парнями, но все без успешно, я работаю в компьютерном клубе и в основном работы нет, и я сижу не зная чем занять себя. Может расскажете что вы делаете в таких ситуациях, или может дадите совет?

I really REALLY REALLY tried everything, I tried hobbies, socializing, breaking same habits, meeting new people, focusing on work, myself, healing etc etc, I tried working out. Been a year+ and I'm still stuck. Atp I just came into agreement that I'm never gonna find someone, I don't even get excited anymore when I think of "partnership" and "life with a soulmate (or whatever)" I don't want to get married anymore, I don't want anything to do with anyone and it's stupid. I feel like a stone. The worst part is that every excitement that I had for my hobbies is slowly shrinking because I don't have him to share it with. Or whenever I'm happy I somewhat feel half happy because I miss him. What do I do?

I’m in a really difficult place right now and I don’t know how to move forward.

During college, I went through years of feeling excluded and rejected. I was mocked by people I considered my friends, and I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. Instead, I became quieter and started isolating myself.

Over time, I felt like people saw me negatively. I felt judged, unwanted, and like I didn’t belong. I stopped engaging in social activities, didn’t attend gatherings, didn’t build many connections, and focused mostly on surviving and getting through my studies.

I did graduate, but instead of feeling relieved, I feel stuck. It has been around 6 months since graduation and I still feel trapped in those memories. My mind keeps replaying painful moments from college, especially moments where I felt humiliated, rejected, or like people were looking down on me.

The hardest part is seeing other people from my class moving forward, building friendships, careers, and lives, while I feel like I missed an important part of growing up. I feel like I lost years where I should have been developing confidence, social skills, hobbies, and my personality.

Even some of the people who hurt me are doing well now, and I struggle with resentment because it feels like they moved on while I’m still carrying the impact of what happened.

I don’t want to hate people. I don’t want revenge. I just want to feel normal again. I want to be able to focus on my future, study properly, make connections, and feel comfortable being myself.

My biggest struggle now is that I cannot stop thinking about the past. My brain keeps replaying those memories, and it affects my ability to focus, study, and move forward.

Another thing that scares me is going back to the same community where many of these experiences happened. It is a close society where people know each other and talk about each other, and I may have to return there again. I’m afraid of facing the same people or feeling judged again.

I also struggle with something else: sometimes even strangers seem to react negatively toward me. Sometimes I feel like people look at me with dislike, laugh at me, or don’t want to interact with me. Whether it is because of my past experiences, my appearance, my body language, or something else, it hurts deeply.

For people who have experienced rejection, bullying, loneliness, or feeling like they are disliked:

How do you react when someone laughs at you, ignores you, or seems to dislike you?

How do you stop taking it personally and continue living your life?

How do you rebuild yourself after years of feeling unwanted?

How do you return to a place where you feel people have already judged you?

I’m looking for advice from people who have been through something similar and learned how to move forward.

simply dont know where and how to make friends, things have changed so much since i was dealing with my career and lives struggles. is it too late to make friends at 35. i feel more in tune with people above, hence why i write it here. im in the medical field and im sure that social isolation doesn;t help lol

​I’ve been living in total isolation for 2 years now. And I don’t just mean living alone at home — I mean having zero human connection. It’s completely wearing me down. I come home exhausted after a brutal 15-hour shift, check my phone, and all I have is 4 notifications: 2 from my mom, one from Reddit about a new post, and one from Pinterest.

​I really need some advice on how to get out of this apathy. Putting myself out there and socializing is incredibly hard for me because everyone seems so fake. It feels like people are playing dumb on purpose, and watching it is honestly disgusting. It terrifies me to think that I’ll never be able to find acquaintances or friends. I just can't fit into society like a normal person. Everyone irritates me, and when I look at people my age, I just see my past self.

​I’m writing this post just to get it off my chest because I have literally no one to share this with. Whenever I try telling someone, they immediately go, "Oh come on, that’s actually great! No one’s texting you, no one’s bothering you." And all I can think is, Why did I even bother opening up to you? If it were great, I wouldn't be telling you this.

​I started working hoping I’d meet new people or make friends with my coworkers, but these people don’t even know who Hitler was. Like, holy shit, where did I even end up? Sometimes the 15-hour shifts help me forget things when it gets chaotic, but at the end of the day, it all surfaces back like a piece of shit, and I’m sad and lonely all over again. Work has started draining me even heavier, and my sleep schedule is completely trashed. I can only fall asleep around 4 or 5 AM, waking up when it's already night the next day. Other times I just stare at the ceiling for an hour. It depends on the day and my mood.

​Thank you if you read this far. If you're going through something similar, let's try to support each other.