r/italianamerican

I am italian american via my grandfather who is from Apulia. I am a 3rd generation american born and raised in iowa and I dont feel a special connection to my heritage compared to italians in new york or something like that. In my town of about 60k, there are only 2 other italian american families. We never called my grandpa nonno or had big family christmas parties celebrating our heritage with tradition if you know what I mean. We rarely ever talked about his heritage but then he died about 2 years ago. My family even went as far as changing their surname to an anglo Saxon surname. I want to connect more with my italian roots but just don't know how. Any suggestions?

Somalia used to be an Italian colony for several decades. Does this result in any particular affinity between Somali and Italian Americans nowadays?

My husband and I live in New Jersey and we are so excited to bring our baby boy into the world. I just hit my second trimester today.

For the sake of privacy, our last name is a long Sicilian last name consisting of 13 letters.

I’ve been battling with names for boys for a while (we tried for two years) and I never found one I liked, until I heard the beautiful name Luciano (pronounced loo-CHI-ah-no).

I love it, and we were saying how it sounds like a strong, classic Italian name. Because we are keeping his name a secret until he is born, I wanted to come here and ask a few questions.

1. Would the name Luciano with our 13 letter Sicilian last name sound like we are “trying too hard” to be Italian? We are fourth generation Italian Americans (like most of NJ) but we are proud of our Italian/Sicilian heritage.
2. Does his name sound like he has “connections,” if you know what I mean?

I think that I’m overthinking this, but please be kind to me in the comments.

ETA: I realize that the way that we plan to pronounce it is a lot more in Americanized than the Italian way. I’ve heard both from Italians and people who speak Italian, but I’m open to both. Because we are American and speak English, we don’t expect people to suddenly throw on the Italian phonetics for our last name. They don’t have to do it with baby’s name either, unless they want to!

ETA again: Thanks to everyone for your kind answers, encouragement, and well-wishes for this long awaited pregnancy. Some commenters are putting me down for asking a question, which is so strange because I feel like that’s the point of forums— to ask questions and spark discussion. I’m sorry that I don’t speak Italian that well and I’m not familiar with all the phonetics, but some of you could be a little kinder about it...

hehe hi sorry if this is cringe but I'm writing a story for my character who is an Italian sailor in 1890's America and I am clueless on what to name his boat so I was hoping to get some recommendations from the community here! Thank you all for any suggestions or comments!

The character himself is rather cold-hearted but the boat is his fathers so it would have been likely named something calm and beautiful.

I grew-up in the late 1970s and early 1980s, with my Italian-American aunt (first child of my immigrant grandparents and who was born in 1917) frequently saying (what I heard as a child as) "cabeesh". Years later, I guess I heard the proper pronounciation of "capeesh". Ultimately, I'm not sure if I was just, in fact, hearing this wrong, or if my aunt (and perhaps my grandparents, who were, essentially, peasants from a mountain village in Campagna, San Gregorio Magno, with little formal education), were also pronouncing the word this way. Some basic online sleuthing says that "cabeesh" may have been a common pronounciation among these poor, and poorly educated (at least formally) "southerners". Anyone with knowledge on this topic or similar experiences they'd want to share?

Italian American here. Both of my parents are from Italy and moved to America for a better life. I’ve always noticed when I tell Italians that I am Italian American, they almost always have a snotty attitude about it and ask “but do you speak the language?” Along with many other nasty remarks. My parents didn’t teach me and my siblings Italian because they wanted us to assimilate into the culture. I am actively trying to learn Italian now and I am not yet fluent. Even when I try to speak what I know to Italians they laugh in my face. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about the Italian culture, traditions, etc. that shouldn’t make me any less of an Italian American. I’ve just been so disgusted with the reactions that I get from Italians that if they ask I don’t even want to say I’m Italian American anymore, I think I am going to just start saying American. It makes me not want to be proud of my heritage and roots anymore. It makes me want to totally detach from this identity I’ve cultivated my whole life. I honestly feel shame and embarrassment. Does anyone else feel this way?

had a lively debate with my SO the other day about this. This discussion/argument has been a reoccurring theme my entire life I feel like.

anyway.. made clams with linguine for dinner the other day and put Locatelli on it to finish, like my Italian-American family did growing up, and my grandparents who were from Naples. Grandma actually had a Italian American place in Brooklyn and then another one on Long Island. She definitely knew her shit

Now I would like to clarify that I would never put it on like shrimp marinara or any kind of whole fish or anything like that but with the clams I just feel like it goes really well. I can't be the only one doing this right?

Just wanted to see if I'm overreacting (genuinely).

I never bother anyone who says these things, but it does actually hurt me when someone asks about my background, I say I'm Italian (Italian American) and they start making jokes or have a negative reaction. A few months ago I also was asked to do an event showcasing some Italian American foods and how to make them, which I happily did and shared some of my own family's recipes, I was honored to do it. A good friend made fun of it as I was talking about planning it, laughing and saying "no one cares that you're Italian". Casual friends or people I've met also say stuff like I should look like a guido, mimic Italian accents to me, mob jokes, pizza jokes, I expect it and sometimes play into it even if I don't like it. To be clear I also don't just tell everyone I'm Italian which IMO would be obnoxious, but people ask because of my name, I think I've brought it up on my own like 3 times in the last few years.

Another part of it is that mostly the only Italian people I know are my family, and I grew up in/live in now an area with almost no Italian Americans. I'm not part of any communal culture. My family raised me to have a lot of pride in being Southern Italian but that part of my identity feels kind of touchy. I barely mention it with anyone and when I do, most of the time there's a dismissive or ignorant reaction and it's happened so much.

To be clear I don't count this as racial discrimination, it feels xenophobic or maybe just rude? I feel like I shouldn't make it a big deal or it shouldn't hurt as much as it does but tbh I hate it. Maybe I need to develop my own strength of identity more or grow a thicker skin. ...Thoughts?