Why is there such a difference between how guys and girls interpret this movie?
I first watched this movie with a bunch of guys and we all teared up by the end. Then upon hearing this, we recommended some of our female friends to watch, who are typically more emotional than us, and watched in horror as they sat through the ending relatively emotionlessly only to call it "wholesome". I've narrowed this difference down to two main ideas: whether you tend to self-insert to Sebastian or Mia, and your interpretation of the final musical sequence.
From my experience, guys tend to see the sequence as a "what could have been". As a guy myself, I always saw it as a version of life where he made the "right choices", choosing the things that could've furthered their relationship. To me it was another version of reality, something that could've existed if it Sebastian didn't make the choices he did. The girls I watched this movie though seemed to see this sequence as a pure fantasy, as a made-up almost delusion that Mia and Sebastian share when they see each other again. To them it was fiction, something that is nice to imagine but ultimately something that is already in the past. I don't think either interpretation is necessarily wrong, but it did really rub me the wrong way when they called it "wholesome", saying "but they both achieved their dreams in the end".
I think what girls seem to not understand about Sebastian's character is how his dream changes, probably because Mia's goals don't change in the same way. The moment where Sebastian chooses to sign with the band is the moment where he decides to settle and delay his own dream for a new dream, a life with Mia. But Mia never makes this choice, putting everything on the line for her one-woman show and questioning why Sebastian isn't willing to do the same. I've seen some other video essays say what makes their relationship is their passion and I wholeheartedly agree with this. It's their shared passion for a seemingly impossible dream that brings them together, but also is what drives them apart during their fight. To her, this loss of passion is what starts to erode what brought them together. The girls I watched this with seemed to miss this altogether, or believe that once they broke up that this dream could be forgotten.
The best analyses I've seen about LaLaLand call it a film about dreams and sacrifice, and how we can't have it all in life. Being the naive person I am, I like to contest that statement. To me, the epilogue is again a reality that could've happened if only Sebastian made the "right choices". As someone who self-inserts into Seb, it's the version of life where I could've had the girl and the dream (but to a smaller extent in Paris) if only I communicated better and didn't sacrifice for something that didn't need sacrificing. But other analyses of that sequence take it as a version where he sacrifices everything - including his dream - for a life with Mia. To this I ask all of you, could Sebastian have continued his dream in Paris, or at least opened a club later in life? Am I too naive to think that you can have it all if both parties are willing to sacrifice for each other?
Disclaimer: I use some generalizations here about gender and I want to make it clear that this is from my experience and doesn't apply to all men and women, even among the people I know