Need genuine advice
I (30F) have been with my husband (30M) since 2016. We dated for years, got married, and now have a beautiful baby together. I truly love him, and until recently I always believed we’d figure things out no matter what.
The issue is that I struggle with anger and irritation. I get triggered easily, especially when things feel out of control, but I also calm down quickly afterwards. I know I’m not perfect. I also have OCD, and cleanliness/organization affects me mentally more than it probably affects most people.
We currently live with his parents because of financial issues, and the environment has been very hard on me. My MIL is not a bad person, but the house is constantly messy and unhygienic to a point where it genuinely impacts my mental health. Whenever I try to clean, organize, or take charge of the house, she gets offended or irritated. I’ve tried multiple times to make the place more livable, especially now after having a baby.
My husband has always agreed that the house is chaotic, and he has promised many times that we would eventually move out. But nothing has actually changed, and postpartum has made my emotions, irritation, and anxiety much worse.
Last Sunday, we had a huge argument about the house and our living situation. I kept bringing up how unhappy I am and asking why we still aren’t actively working toward moving out. The fight escalated badly. He hit me and choked me. What hurt even more is that nobody in the house came to stop him.
Now I feel completely torn. Part of me feels deeply disrespected and wants to leave him and this house altogether. Another part of me still loves him so much and keeps thinking about all the good years we’ve had together.
I genuinely don’t know what to do or how to process this. Has anyone been through something similar?