r/nflcirclejerk

• Mother
• Grandmother ✅
• Second grade teacher
• Nana
• Wife (gf)
• Fanbase
• Mom’s mouth
• Grandma’s mouth
• Hottest 18+ family member
• Baby momma
• Your Dallas Cowboys fan
• Entire bloodline
• Step-mom (the hot one)
• Dog walker
• Mail lady
• Uber driver who ghosted you
• High school crush who friend-zoned you
• Ex’s new boyfriend
• Therapist (she knows too much)
• Barber who keeps fucking up your fade
• Boss who passed you over for promotion
• Neighbor’s loud-ass dog
• That one cousin who owes you money
• Ancestry.com results
• Future mother-in-law
• Tinder date who unmatched after 3 minutes
• Pizza delivery guy who was late
• Your fantasy football league
• Dad’s side of the family (especially Uncle Randy)
• All your exes’ group chat
• The 49ers fan in your family
• Great-aunt who pinches cheeks
• Your reflection in the mirror
• Childhood bully’s mom
• The barista who spelled your name wrong again
• Every landlord you’ve ever had
• Your sleep paralysis demon
• That one aunt who always asks why you’re single
• The entire Dallas Cowboys organization
• Your mom’s book club
• The priest who baptized you
• Your WiFi router for all the lag
• Distant cousin in the military
• The family group chat admin
• Your own damn shadow on a bad day