r/okbuddyhorkos

Thenk you fur honer i can be mexican batman with no conext to batman atall lysm<333

It used to stop you almost immediately before. These are the facts they don't want you to know

this is satire and not to be taken seriously

Ad homeinem

Is this lawbringers opening to get his man back?

The battlefield was a place where love was rarely found.

There were only banners snapping in the wind, steel ringing against steel, and the thunder of warriors crashing together beneath a grey and unforgiving sky. Egret, a fierce knight of the Iron Legion, had fought in countless battles and had little patience for romance.

That changed the day she met Earl Cross.

She first saw him through the smoke: a towering knight with great antlers rising from his helm, gripping a massive war hammer as though it weighed nothing. Earl Cross, brother to the renowned Holden Cross, was advancing through the enemy ranks with terrifying purpose.

Egret watched him for perhaps a second too long.
Then Earl noticed her.
Their eyes met.
Egret raised her sword.
Earl raised his hammer.

What followed was, in Egret’s estimation, the most important duel of her life.

She charged with all the ferocity she could muster. Earl met her blow with his hammer, sending a shock through her arms. She struck again. He blocked. She feinted left, spun, and attacked from the right.
Earl simply smiled beneath his helm.

Then came the hammering.

One devastating strike knocked her sword from her hand. A second sent her sprawling into the mud. Before Egret could recover, Earl stood over her, hammer resting against his shoulder.

He could have finished her.
Instead, he offered her his hand.
Egret stared at it.
She took it.
And that was the moment she was lost.

From then on, Egret found herself mysteriously eager whenever she heard Earl Cross was nearby. She volunteered for battles she had no business volunteering for. She polished her armour twice as often. She even began asking Holden suspiciously specific questions about his brother.

“Is Earl always that… impressive?”
Holden merely raised an eyebrow.

Soon, Egret’s admiration became something far more dangerous.
She was besotted.

Every clash of a hammer reminded her of their first meeting. Every glimpse of those antlers made her heart beat faster. She even began calling the incident her “first hammering,” though Earl insisted that was not a particularly romantic description.
Egret disagreed.

To her, it had been love at first strike.
And although the battlefield had brought them together through blood, steel, and one particularly memorable blow to the ego, Egret knew one thing for certain:

She had faced countless warriors in her life.
But only Earl Cross had ever truly swept her off her feet.

It's going to be a Spartan, let me go over the kit.

It's going to have the same full block as Valk but will be the same kind of punish as VG when struck to remind everyone how much they hate full block characters, it will then be followed up with a Spartan kick that is both orange and blue so you cannot dodge it and it makes the person playing the character feel cool even when they're not, after the kick lands they can stab you with the spear as a follow up and deal 30 bleed for no reason (We stole Valks animation for this so we don't have to make a unique one for the hero specifically, something else the playerbase will complain about.) Get all of their stamina back and heal a chunk of health using some annoying feat that will take six months to be change for balance (If we're lucky) We're also bringing back the Hyper armored neutral light, it's also enhanced. We're giving him all of Valks heavies with Hyper armor and chain infinity and cost almost no stamina.

He's also getting a Tekken meter bar called Spartan Rage, which enhances all of his moves and giving him unblockable Hyper armored attacks.

He also gets base kit thrilling comeback with the meter, pops revenge without getting fed revenge and heals based on the amount of damage he does so it'll take you a century to kill him. He gets 1 stackable shield equal to his health and stacks for every dead teammate.

You can also color each piece of the armor every color of the rainbow using materials so you can make your "Spartan" look as stupid as possible. We're also only giving him 2 armor sets that look virtually the same so we can listen to people complain about new heroes not having any armor diversity, then after 6 years we'll add more armor to your Spartan and kill the identity of it being a Spartan even further than we already have using materials and color pallets.

(The kick is also going to be "bugged" and leave you stuck on the ground so the person playing the hero can do whatever they want to you. (We definitely didn't do this on purpose.) Then we'll "patch" it after the first 2 weeks of the hero release, just before you can get the hero for free by buying it with steel.

We're also going to give your hero the Juren treatment on our next hero release and gut the hero so we can recycle the same process all over again and leave the hero where it doesn't belong (The Knights Faction) instead of giving our community what they actually ask for.

(This is a joke, but we all know a portion of this joke is true)

He also says yes to putting lawbringer in the cuck chair 🪑

I neither agree nor disagree with any statements Slanderous made because I did not watch the video. I just thought this was funny (it's all women in the pic)

Please i got this 1v1 on B, you don't have to help i promise.