r/oldest_daughter

I planned a meal for my mother for the whole day. I only cooked breakfast around 8 am for her. So, my dad got mad at me for only cooking for her. And not for him and my brother. Which doesn't make sense. IT IS MOTHER'S DAY! I continue to ask him, "So I got two mothers now?" As my father starts to guilt-trip me (using narcissistic tactics) to say I should cook for the whole family. Blanty, he started cussing me out. I really don't have time for babying a Man-Child. As the oldest daughter, tragedy struck again, and I held my ground. Sadly, I ruined the day by not cooking for the other two. Am I crazy to only cater to my mom?

Here was the meal plan since I could make the rest of the meal for today. -->

breakfast~

1. Scrambled eggs, hash browns, Oatmeal, and sausages.

Dinner~
2. Mini sandwiches grilled, with curly fries, and a brownie cupcake.

Lunch~
3. Fried mini barbecue chicken, salad, macaroni, and mini burger.

sadly can't make the last two, since my dad won't talk to me and won't take me to the grocery stores. Somehow, he really makes it feel like I'm the bad guy. As this was going on, my mom pretended everything was fine, and my brother, being the follower he is. Just doing the same method as my Dad would do.

I probably need a blue-collar job or something to get away from them. Oh, I also forgot to tell you. They were hindering me from getting my license to make me feel that I only needed them to drive me to my job. Yeah, my older daughter coded.

I really need advice. pls.

I’m seeing all these Mother’s Day posts of people w their moms and it almost makes me feel guilty bc I feel such a emotional disattachment with both my parent but especially with my mom and it’s not that my mom a horrible person she shows so much affection but it really just makes me feel uncomfortable and my mom try’s to make it seem like me and my sister are so close to her even though we aren’t but I feel guilty at the fact that I feel disattachment despite her affection
It feels like im missing out on some sort of connection but like internally i know im never gonna feel like that with my mom and it almost makes me feel sorry for myself honestly this may sound really bad but like i really could go without seeing either of my parents for the rest of my life and i would be fine maybe even happier
No we aren’t our whole relationship is based off such a shallow foundation it like I go shopping with my mom we hang out but she really doesn’t know anything real about me or my life she may think she does but it’s like she’s a shallow friend you tell nothing n to but hang out with And i know why the emotional disattachment stems from and its not like its was necessary her fault but when i was little and even know i feel like my moms therapist she shifts all her stress and problems onto me especially with her issues with my dad is all falls on me and it has always felt like she just draining me with all of it and when they would fight I would also we in the middle trying to defend her in screaming matches w my angry father and even though it’s not her fault I almost despise her for the fact that I had to be the ones to defend her and be witnessed to all that anger the fact that she stayed with my father despite his rage made me feel like she was the victim and bc she never left or tried i was forced to be subjected to all that and I blame her And the fact that I could never tell her any of this because it would really completely destroy her is the reason I feel like that emotional disattachment will always be there because despite her affection I can never forgive her for subjecting me to my fathers rage