r/outsidermusic

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For the past few months, I’ve been trying to understand myself, learn more about the music scene, and figure out where I fit in. I experimented with various musical genres over the years but eventually accepted that I wasn't the perfect fit for them. A few months ago, I discovered "outsider music"—something I hadn't even known existed before. What is considered a unique form of expression to you all used to feel like a flaw or a failure to me. Back in early 2024—after I turned 18 and finally got a cellphone (I wasn't allowed to have one at my dad's house)—I finally tried to pursue my dream of being a singer. I even remember my sister and I writing silly things, thinking they’d turn into songs someday—haha. My dad threw it all away; I was a person full of dreams, you know? Anyway, nothing I tried really satisfied me; I was giving it my all, but all I had was my voice and a toy ukulele. I recorded a session of short songs in a single day—no lyrics, no formula—and I was actually happy with the result. After a few days, I posted them on YouTube. Over the years, I learned to create sounds using free samples, and this year I finally realized my dream—something that made me incredibly happy and motivates me to keep this project going. I actually shared a brief presentation of my project on my TikTok; I used that account to post song translations—rarely, just songs I really loved and grew up listening to as a teenager. A few days after the launch, I think, I made a video introducing the project and inviting people to give it a listen. But even while showcasing it myself, I kept drifting further away; I struggle to communicate well or keep a conversation going, and sometimes I’m just in too bad a place to talk. Months went by without me promoting anything, and only a few rare friends knew what I was doing—honestly, even I kind of forgot about it. I think I peaked at around 11 listeners for a month—at least, that’s what Spotify showed—just curious people checking it out. After doing some more deep dives, I saw how people ridicule unqualified independent artists trying to break into the music scene. You might disagree, but there are so many "outsider" artists—people who don't even realize that's what they are. Most of the ones I saw were young people on TikTok trying to promote projects hosted on obscure platforms that hardly anyone would actually use to listen to music. Seeing them try and fail—becoming memes—combined with my own lack of motivation and bipolar disorder, made me decide to just keep to myself. I was making so much music, but I took forever because I couldn't decide what to share. And whenever I did finish something, it was usually just... whatever came to mind in the moment, sounding like an improvisation over the track. I’ll admit it: the idea of ​​lots of people seeing and judging me makes me uncomfortable. Still, I’d love to connect with people who share my peculiar vibe—I even joke sometimes and call what I do "outsider pop." Anyway...