r/talesfromthejob

I work in a manufacturing mill and I started showing symptoms of a stroke yesterday (10-9-26). Slurred speech, swollen tongue, blurred vision, pain on one side of my body.

I went to my supervisor and said I was feeling weird and I didn't know how to explain it. So she looked at me and said I don't know what to do? What should I do?

In my foggy mind I said I don't know. She replied with just go back to your job and leave me alone.

When I get home my wife saw me and rushed me to the hospital and now I'm sitting in a hospital bed.

I need to get this off my chest because my experience with a particular manager at PARKROYAL on Beach Road has left me seriously frustrated.

First, let me make one thing absolutely clear: my complaint is not about PARKROYAL on Beach Road as a whole. It is about my personal experience with one particular manager, Nian Chao, and how he handled a workplace disagreement. I don't believe the entire hotel or its other staff should be judged by the actions of one individual.

Here's what happened.

I was already stressed and busy managing other employees' work when this manager was scolding another employee. He then turned to me and asked whether he was correct, and I agreed with him.

I admit that I raised my voice. I was under pressure from handling the workload and managing other people's work, and I could have communicated myself better. However this was nearing the end of my shift and my raised voice was likea dismissive busy tone at best. When he told me he didn't like my attitude, I tried to explain that I was busy and hadn't intended to speak disrespectfully.

Instead of resolving the misunderstanding professionally, he told me to get out.

I was frustrated too, and I told him he needed to chill out and that he had a fucking problem. He raised his voice further and escorted me out.

I'm not pretending that I handled everything perfectly. I was stressed, I raised my voice, and I could have chosen my words more carefully. However, being a manager does not give someone a free pass to escalate a disagreement rather than handle it professionally. If there was a problem with my tone, it could have been addressed without turning the situation into a confrontation.

What makes this experience even more frustrating is that my employment agent apologised to me afterward and indicated that they were familiar with the difficulties surrounding this manager. I've also heard frustrations from colleagues, although I can only speak directly about what happened to me.

There's another reason this experience bothers me so much: I play a major role in introducing and encouraging new people to take up work at places like these. When I recommend opportunities to others, I want them to have a fair chance to work, gain experience, and be treated with basic respect.

Experiences like this make it much harder for me to confidently encourage people to work in these environments. If someone has a bad experience because of how a manager handles conflict, it doesn't just affect that one shift or that one employee. It can also affect whether people trust recommendations to work there in the future.

That is why this incident does not reflect well on the management experience I encountered. When people help bring new workers into the industry, they should be able to feel confident that those workers will be treated professionally. An experience like mine certainly does not help build that confidence.

I understand that managing staff is difficult. I understand that employees can have bad attitudes, stressful days, and moments when they lose their temper. That applies to managers too. But leadership requires communication, patience, and professionalism. A managerial position should come with responsibility, not an excuse to escalate every disagreement.

To reiterate, I am not attacking PARKROYAL on Beach Road as a whole. My criticism is directed at my experience with this particular loser manager and the way he power tripped like hes some sort of fucking god. I accept responsibility for my own actions, but that should not mean I have to stay silent about what happened.

I'm sharing my experience because I believe workplace disagreements should be handled properly, and because the way management treats workers can affect people's willingness to recommend these jobs to others.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with management in Singapore's hospitality industry?

I spent three years at a small event planning agency. The owner was named Mark, early forties, wore hoodies, had a sign on the wall that said “Work Hard, Play Harder.” Team of nine.

Mark’s catchphrase was “We’re a family.” He said it every Monday morning. He didn’t say it on payday.

Last December, my grandmother died. I took three days of bereavement leave. Mark approved it, then sent a text: “Sorry for your loss. Hey, can you remotely edit that client proposal for Wednesday? Should only take twenty minutes.”

I did it. From the steps outside the funeral home.

This March, I booked a trip to Portugal. Saved for two years. A week before I left, Mark pulled me into his office and said there was a big project in April. “Can you push the trip?”

I said no. The tickets were non-refundable.

He said, “Then can you bring your laptop? Just in case.”

I said, “I’m taking paid vacation. The handbook says vacation is ‘unplugged time.’”

He said, “The handbook is the handbook. We’re family.”

I said okay. Then I brought my laptop to Lisbon.

First night, Mark messaged me: “Client wants revisions. Can you hop on a video call?” It was 2 a.m. Lisbon time. I replied: No.

Next morning, he messaged again: “Just fifteen minutes.”

I replied: No.

Day three, he sent a long message. The gist was “the team needs you” and “some colleagues feel you haven’t been as invested lately.”

I replied: I’m in Lisbon. On my own dime. On vacation.

He didn’t respond.

When I got back, my name was off the project schedule. Mark passed me in the hallway, smiled, said “Welcome back.” I knew that smile. It was the same one I’d seen at the pet store—the customer saying “I’ll think about it.”

Two weeks later, I gave my notice. Mark asked why. I said, “Because family doesn’t call you at 2 a.m. for a meeting.”

He said, “That’s a bit harsh.”

I said, “You can write it on Glassdoor.”

I’m at a nonprofit now, doing communications. Two thousand less. But nobody has messaged me after 8 p.m. since.

I'm retired now, and this incident happened a little less than 50 years ago, but I still remember it.

I started working for a major Midwestern aerospace firm as an engineer right out of college. I was assigned to the lab, like all beginning engineers, and went to my first meeting in the lead engineer's office. I was just a wallflower while other people talked. At some point, something was said that upset the lead engineer. I don't remember him yelling, but he looked agitated and quickly opened his desk drawer. He grabbed a pill bottle, opened it and quickly consumed one of the tablets. It doesn't seem like the meeting lasted much longer because everyone was in a little state of shock.

After this happened, I was questioning my career choice but never got to the point of needing a bottle of pills

So, recently our leadership is trying to boost staff morale and give out incentives. Buttttttt the thing is, our boss told us that he wants to hire a massage therapist to give staff massages? lol a bunch of us were laughing. Like, is that wild or am I trippin?

So two days ago I was fired from my kitchen job. I verbally lashed out at a woman boss and coworker. alwhile, lunch service was happening. Once I realized I was fired, I unleashed all my frustrations. Got the point that I was slamming my hands on tables in front of her. And she was visibly shaking.

First, I need to be clear. I am an asshole for verbally flipping out and slamming my hands, especially in front of a woman, period. All the "healing and fixing my bullshit" completely went out of the window, and I feel a little ashamed about that....

But I'm neurodivergent. Undiagnosed at that, so my brain can clearly admit the mistake... but it's also justifying it. Basically, I had every right to be wrong. Not how I expressed my frustrations, but that I had a massive amount of frustration I couldn't contain anymore.

I was the only black male in this kitchen of 3 people, including my boss. A month and a half into the job, I'm trying to complain about a coworkers lack of communication. She stops me mid talk and tells me that she and the other two are afraid of me. Overall, it had to do with me being short and my work personality. Which I won't deny, I give off asshole when I work. But it bothers me, my former boss stated she recognized this is just how my personality is. She recognized that I never meant it they way it's perceived, and yet you still perceived it that way?

So I shut down. Close 3 months later. I'm not talking to anyone. I speak when spoken to. I do my job. And I didn't express anger. Yet I'm finding that when I'm fired that this whole time, they still perceived me as angry. Lol

Now again, I have to admit. Was I doing a great job? Yes, just not in the way they wanted me to. Can definitely admit I messed up in a lot of ways, too. But my thing is, I never denied my fuck ups. I clocked in and vanished for 7 hours. Why? Because the morning cook literally left me nothing to do. All I had do was make a salad, heat up a casserole, roast veggies for dinner. 2 prep projects and 1 cleaning project. 10hr shift, and I crammed all that into 3 hours. On top of that, since he's "scared" of me, I'm uncomfortable around him.

So, a coworker snitched on me. Boss came in, and I admitted it! I didn't deny it! And i tried to explain the dynamic and how there's nothing to do, and even if there is, we're working on top of each other so two people don't need to do the same stuff. She couldn't process any of that. We literally went in circles numerous times. It got to the point where she said i have to keep finding something to do. And continuously asked, "Then what?" Repeatedly. Lol

I could list every single context. But ultimately, now I feel like I was doomed after that month and a half. I feel like they gave me a loaded gun and is mad I used it, alwhile I'm acknowledging my actions and faults... but you can't even admit you handed me the fucking gun. White people. Lol

Edit: One thing I hate about the internet is the assumption. You don't know how old I am. You don't know how many jobs I've had. You don't know how long I've lived with this undiagnosis. When i figured it out, how I've been correcting, adjusting, and re adjusting.

The reason why it doesn't seem like I'm taking full responsibility. THAT'S BECAUSE MY BRAIN WON'T ALLOW ME. I fully know where I messed up. I am fully aware of every single mess up, whether in their eyes or just mine. That's my brain. That who I am. I'm fully aware of my damn actions and my baehavior... but i can't accept that I'm 100 percent in the wrong. I have over 15 years of restaurant experience and over 20 years of work experience. People talk to me. People ask me if I have a problem. Bosses have come to me and visibly seen me frustrated, Non communicative, and have said something! I have never worked with a boss that allowed tension in their kitchen! They address it. I'm not gonna drag this on longer.. I'll just say, I've worked in enough places where I know what I feel about how I was treated. How leadership and teamwork are conducted was not typically of my experience, and I didn't react professionally.

Just don't assume, ask questions if possible. Just understand this was going to be a novel if I didn't refrain from all the context.