Im the heaviest ive been and everyday im done. So today, im done (Day 5 - Short term win anxiety)
We're getting to that point where im ooooing and aaaaing at my discipline, excited for the progress thats to come and i think crucial (to my downfall), thinking like ive already succeeded.
For 2/3 years, I haven't nurtured a habit that got to a full month. In fact, I struggle to think when I passed 20 days. Dieting, exercising, no drinking. They all start pretty much like how the last 5 days have gone. Lofty ambitions, strong start. But very quickly, I regress. And sometimes I cant even realise it until I look around and there i am ordering macdonals.
And why I think its because I feel like im winning the moment I cross the first few hurdles. I fill my mind up with this FALSE sense of achievement. 5 days is nothing, nothing compared to the marathon I have left to go. 5 DAYS IS NOTHING IF IT GOES BACK DOWN TO ZERO EACH TIME. Am I being too harsh? I think considering how kind ive been to myself, and how that kindness has turned to sabotage, I should.
I have a long way to go, and i haven't achieved anything yet.