Am I expecting too much from potential nannies?
FTM to a 6 month old baby girl and going back to work soon. My baby is extremely attached to me right now and honestly I’m getting really anxious about transitioning her to a nanny/caregiver.
She wants me around constantly. Even if I leave her on the playmat for a few minutes, she starts crying and looking for me. I know attachment is normal at this age, but meeting potential nannies has made me feel even more worried.
We met a few nannies who have worked in our society before, but the interactions honestly didn’t feel right to me. Most of them immediately tried to pick her up, show toys, and expected her to smile right away without really trying to connect with her first. No gentle talking, sitting near her, making eye contact, or giving her time to warm up. My baby would instantly burst into tears.
One nanny even commented that my baby cries a lot and “doesn’t come to people” while other babies apparently play easily with everyone. That comment really got to me. It made me wonder if my baby is unusually attached or difficult, or if we just haven’t found the right caregiver yet.
At the same time, she’s only 6 months old meeting complete strangers, so I don’t know if I’m expecting too much or if her reaction is actually completely normal.
I also keep wondering if I’m being unreasonable with my expectations. I feel like babies can sense warmth and comfort, and I expect a nanny to try building trust with her slowly instead of expecting immediate smiles and comfort. But maybe I’m overthinking because of mom guilt and anxiety about going back to work.
For parents who went through this:
What qualities did you look for in a nanny?
How did you help your baby get comfortable with them?
How long did it take for your baby to adjust?
And did anyone else have a baby who cried with new people at this age?
Would really appreciate honest experiences because this transition is feeling a lot harder emotionally than I expected.
I can find flexible work arrangements where I can go to the office for a few hours and WFH for the rest of the day but I know i won't be able to work without additional help.
Can't expect MIL to watch her full time.