How do I stop letting a toxic ex-friend’s emotional blackmail ruin my college transition?
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Hey everyone,
I’m looking for some advice on how to mentally move on from high school drama and friendship trauma that is actively holding me back from starting my next chapter.
To give some background, I recently took a gap year to study for entrance exams and successfully secured admission into a college program. It was a massive, hard-fought transition for me—I completely shifted my career focus from a biology background into a technical program. I had to work incredibly hard for this, unlike this ex-friend, who comes from a very wealthy family and has always had a massive financial safety net where everything comes effortlessly. Because of this disparity, I already struggle with feeling inferior and like I'm starting far behind him.
But the main issue is that this ex-friend from high school has resurfaced. He is constantly blaming and emotionally manipulating me for things that happened over a year ago. Even though I know logically that I didn't do anything wrong, his emotional blackmail and "breadcrumbing" (sending occasional messages and triggering social media updates) make me feel deeply guilty. I find myself constantly overthinking, comparing my self-made journey to his privileged one, and feeling anxious every time I see his posts.
I want to focus on my new college life, but I feel mentally stuck in the past.
**I would love some advice on:**
* How do I stop feeling guilty when I know logically I haven't done anything wrong?
* What are some effective ways to break free from emotional blackmail and stop overthinking past drama?
* How can I stop comparing my hard-earned progress to someone who has privileges and safety nets I don't have?
* How do I mentally detach and stop letting his social media presence trigger my anxiety?
Thanks in advance for any insights