Can someone explain why my brain thinks everything is a five-alarm fire?
My AuDHD brain is like an overqualified security guard with absolutely no training.
It ignores actual emergencies.
But Karen from accounting took three hours to reply to my email?
LOCK THE BUILDING DOWN.
It can remember the exact tone of voice someone used when they said “okay” in 2014.
It cannot remember where I set my phone 14 seconds ago.
I can spend four hours researching the “perfect” planner that will finally organize my life…
…then forget the planner exists by Wednesday.
And don’t even get me started on text messages.
One unanswered “lol” and suddenly my brain has produced an entire Netflix documentary explaining how I’ve accidentally ruined every relationship I’ve ever had.
Meanwhile, someone could walk past me carrying a literal chainsaw and my brain’s like,
“Neat.”
I’m beginning to suspect my nervous system skipped the “minor inconvenience” setting entirely.
It’s just:
Everything’s fine. 🌿
This is clearly the end of civilization. 🚨
Please tell me I’m not the only one living with this wonderfully unhinged operating system.
What’s the most ridiculous “emergency” your brain has ever invented?