Severe depression ! And alcohol
I am 36 and I was using alcohol to cope with my anxiety since very early age . Was not feeling as it was a problem . It was always wine . Eventually it became every day evening routine . But still I enjoyed it and never saw it as a problem . I mean I was always checking my health , never blackouts etc . Max I reached at some point is bottle of wine per day . But I slept well and functioning very well !
2 years ago I had a severe marriage crisis and burnout with my project , so I did start to drink more .
Eventually I couldn’t cope as my marriage problem was not resolved and work wise I couldn’t figure what to do next . Still can’t figure out what to do with both .
Eventually I went down severe depression over these two years which now reached the lowest point . I literally don’t want to live and my only reason to live is my son .
So I started antidepressants Cipralex , and I am just 10 days in and feeling like shit. I don’t sleep well, I wake up with tremor and panic , and most importantly- I am completely dysfunctional. Days go forever, I can’t push myself to do anything .
And on top of that I really want to drink ! Which I shouldn’t. But I do .
So my question is how to deal with all that shit ? How to not to lose hope that medicine will work as it’s very hard first weeks ? And of course how to stop drinking ?
I don’t drink much
But it’s the only thing that takes edge off from all the thinking