r/u_THEPSYCHPATHONDRUMS

Beautiful Creature, Impressed are you? In being greatly honest, I almost gave in last Friday and disconnected my heart from each of its valves to place it in a box to store it away into the catacombs of the forgotten. Don’t think of me as being overly poetically dramatic. Things were really building up and were getting the best of my emotions. I could not help but let my emotions take over me for the moment I was feeling them.

As strong as I look and portray myself to be; Yes, I do cry heavenly. I felt the strong urge and needed to. I felt a little better after I cried and fell asleep. It has been said that crying is healthy. I’m a person that can usually hold back my tears. But, I think because I am getting more wiser; my emotions have gotten stronger. I even cry when watching certain movies, television shows, and listening to music that’s overly emotionally dramatic that I can’t help the feeling…

Do you cry like I cry?

I could be wrong, but I screened shot a photo profile of another person’s face that looked identical to your’s only difference… is this person put’s their war paint on. I’ve taken notice that you don’t wear any war paint. And that’s fine with me. I love your face. Don’t be bashful to show it off. I look at that picture on the day’s that I don’t see you. Although, I do see you when I look at that picture. It helps me coupe a little. Bear with me that I do feel and hurt.

I just look back and think that if we had kept going like the way we were going before when we only knew that we secretly had feelings for each other. I just wonder from your perspective if you would have continued to talk me face to face? You had distanced your self for a bit completely almost hiding from me. You thought that you were being too up front with the way you felt in my presence. You didn’t want to lose the communication we had progressed to have as well not losing my presence, either.

But now, I hope that we will try to work on talking to each other face to face, again.

I’m actually proud of myself for initiating that I have feelings for you. I am happy that I communicated back with the few small gestures that I gave to you in order to acknowledge your subtle hinted gestures. Really…No time could be better for us. Acting on what we feel is perfect instead of going silent and standing still for all the wrong reasons.

I’d rather that we both be on an understanding that we have LOVE for each other than the thought being “Lost in Space.” To Be Continued… -DK

If you only knew my beautiful creature that I have the same thought’s and fears just as you do. I wish that you would come and see me instead of it always being myself coming to see you. But, I know that you never would.

You long to see me and I come…same place you and me met “where we both stand.” But then, that’s it. I drive 66 miles back home thinking am I wasting my time? Am I putting too much effort to try to gain your affection?

I feel that I have laid out most of my cards on the table for you as much I can. When I made the Reddit account, it was originally to CALL OUT my prior employer because of the careless investigation that was placed upon me that turned on me as a retaliation tactic that caused my separation from my last job. I still was very new to Reddit and all of its functions.

You seem to be much more knowledgeable of this website than me on here that you are able to really hide yourself. I had a feeling that you had an account, so that’s when I gave you my username and other information in the little note that I placed in your hand. That’s when the fear between both of us disclosed.

Reddit was only for us to talk here and there in the possibility that we couldn’t reach one another on each other’s actual phones. But now, that’s how you want to communicate. So, I continue to try. You recently sounded so gloomy and unhopeful of me and us. That’s even if I caught the right message most recently. I don’t know exactly who you are when you send a message out into the universe.

I have only caught the little hints you send in your messages with colors, pictures, and things you say. Again… your messages are never sent directly to me, so I know who you are and I can respond promptly. There are so many other people on this website that are fortunate, misfortuned, misguided, needy, clingy and even sound a little like us it’s insane and drives me MAD. I get so confused and tired of reading the same feeds trying to find YOU.

I shared with you already that I have to wear glasses now in order to see fine print on my phone, computer, IPad, and sometimes driving to help with the blurriness when my eye’s become tired.

I know that there is something that makes you uncomfortable because of it being your first experience. I know what that is and what it’s like. I don’t try to push the envelope to help talk to you about the subject. But, I have been trying to be respectful to you and only let you tell me what you’re comfortable telling me. I could even be totally wrong, but then again I respect you.

I don’t know if it’s for the reason that you have certain friend’s or even family on here that you avoid having contact with me directly. You don’t want to meet me anywhere in the middle to talk to you physically. I threw some idea’s out to you that bit me in my Butt several messages back.

Now, I have just been trying to be careful in what I say in my messages because sometimes I think that you don’t understand and take what you read for something, else. Like I really don’t care and only show up and write back to you at my convenience as like we’re living in a fantasy world like nothing wrong.

Again, I love to be jokeful and happy in my messages. I just have been trying “what I think is right” and “safe” to just get a rise out of you. But, I truly don’t know how you feel when you’re reading my messages. I have read and had it sent into the universe by you responding that my messages don’t add up or match to what I say. So that leaves me confused. I wish that I could just see the expressions on your face.

If only you knew and were in my body on a day to day basis. To be continued… -DK

Forgive me if I tend to answer other peoples fortunate or misfortune triumphs of LOVE. I am just a humbled stranger sending this message into the universe just as you all do wishing and hoping that the right person receives it. That being my Beautiful Creature of mine.

If anything to all you reader’s that read everything I have sent from my writing desk and launched with a sling shot into the universe. I respect you all for trying to maintain honest contact to your loved one’s or your love’s. Respect me when I write, for I am still NEW to the ways of this type of texting. My desired love is comfortable communicating this way for now. So please just continue to cheer us on or respectfully ignore these letters.

To My Beautiful Creature just AS I AM.

I’m doing my very best to match up to what I think might be you when you write back to me in this chaotic universe. Remember…I never bestowed any of your contact information. I guess that I haven’t earned that pirate bootie in your vulnerability with me. You have the key’s to my kingdom. I gave you my information and had only changed my username once because of the unwanted riffraff. My page is inspired and dedicated to you.

I have only given you and tried to do the things that I think are logically right in deep admiration for you. I have given you a few things that signify my love for you. I think that is something you should already know within yourself.

Just like I use to play “Battleship” with my Fashia and he always would admit that I sunk his battleship. He would then turn over his playing grid board to show me and ask, “Where are all of your battleships?” He would then show me that his playing grid was covered completely with white pegs for missed hits with No red pegs for hits. I would then turn my playing grid to show him all of my target hits on his ships. I never like to give myself totally away.

I miss and dream of the moment of the near mistaken purposeful touches that we had amongst each other. When you had more wit to face me even if you feared the moment. I only dream and hope that we share in that moment some time again when you’re ready. Just like we both like the same baseball team. You still like the boy’s in blue The Dodgers just as much as I do, Right? (Hint!Hint!) Your word is my bond, remember…

As far as you and your Mom as personal feelings go…

My relationship with my mother is stressfully stern with better day’s. I have always been tough as nails never being able to let my self be vulnerable because I always have to be the strong one in the family. “Believe it or Not,” you have made me a little vulnerable. I had to discover and learn things that I wasn’t ready for on my own just to survive.

My mom’s attitude towards me has become more reliant and dependent towards me. She is the type of person that comment’s…comment’s, comment’s before the compliment, and compliments then somehow impulsively sneaks in a rude comment never respectably saying a genuine, Thank you. Like being rude is innately sewn onto her spine.

She’s at retirement age but refuses to retire. She wants to retire but feels like she couldn’t afford to retire. Also, she doesn’t want to be bored. Yet, I am bonded by the continued vined plants that keep pulling at my arms and legs in order to maintain order and structure in our living quarters. Project’s I keep planing and start doing but complete at a very slow pace. Because I am tired of being tired and just being the one person show.

I don’t know if anything that I am writing can relate to you? Taking off my costume for you…

I don’t know if you took notice but I wasn’t wearing a lot of my metal. I didn’t want you to be afraid to approach me ever. You mentioned about wanting to feel “SAFE.” So I was exploring the idea within myself. What wouldn’t make her feel SAFE to approach me? So, I just dulled down on my metal look a-bit.

You also put into my thought’s that I was out dressing you since you have to carry a formal dress attire at work. I know that I myself come off to some people as intimidating but those people haven’t met me, yet. A great philosopher named SHREK said, “They judge me before they even get to know me.” A guy friend of mine got his first tattoo done with some logical literature…It said, “God can only judge me.”

I don’t know exactly how some people tend to find me in all the weird kind of places. But, one of my relatives called me two day’s ago leaving me a voicemail on my phone.

This was part of the call, “I live an hour north a month you know small French guty like French she's very good so I can't really talk to anybody. Even though, you know, I have 1600 days of learning French every day on the computer, um, I guess, I'll call them, I've been in too many accidents, and I, my memory's gone, oh. But um, losing. We were supposed to have such big plans of hiking all the national parks together. And no, I got nothing. Oh, I hope your brother and your wife, and mother is good and um, uh, um. You know, send you hugs. And um, and uh, wish to the best. And.”

When one doesn’t think people know…they KNOW!!! I just wanted to comfort you and share my agony here on this end.

Some Songs of Women I Love to Play
Pat Benatar - Don’t Let It Show
Stevie Nicks - Crystal
Madonna - Frozen
Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time
CHER - After All -DK