We’re All Mad Here
"Art is to console those who are broken by life." - “The Artist”
I’ll tell you about “The Artist”, but before you complain about this “long” post- log the fuck off (thanks) or go seek something more your comfort level- like a short and sweet three sentence post. This is not for you. TL;DR? Perfect, that was the point. For those who read through, it might be worth your time. No promises.
Light
As I keep learning and growing, one lesson stands out: share your light.
By “light,” I mean the knowledge, experiences, habits, and little discoveries.
What works for us might help someone else too. A mindset shift, a lesson learned, or even a few words at the right time can make a difference.
You don’t have to be perfect or have everything figured out to share. Just share your progress, your perspective, and what you’re learning along the way.
You never know who might need exactly what you’ve discovered.
Female Resilience
Her name was Johanna Bonger, and her story is one of quiet resilience amid the chaos of grief. In January 1891, her world shattered. Her husband had died at just 33, leaving her alone in a dim Paris apartment with a newborn son named after his uncle, a man whose legacy she suddenly found herself burdened with.
An Inheritance of Shadows
She inherited over 200 paintings, dozens of drawings, and hundreds of letters exchanged between two brothers. To the world outside, this inheritance felt more like a burden than a gift. Friends and acquaintances urged her to leave the paintings behind, some even suggesting the unthinkable—destroying them. An art dealer callously offered to strip the paint from the canvases, dismissing the work as the ramblings of a madman.
But Johanna refused to let the world’s judgment dictate her actions.
A Defiant Journey
At just 28, with her infant son cradled in her arms, she packed every painting and letter and returned to the Netherlands, settling in the quiet town of Bussum. There, she opened a guesthouse, not merely as a means of survival but as a canvas to showcase the art she believed in. She adorned her walls with these neglected masterpieces, transforming her home into a vibrant gallery.
As she immersed herself in the 902 letters exchanged between the brothers, a profound understanding blossomed within her. These were not the scribbles of a deranged artist; they were the reflections of a deeply sensitive soul, one who perceived life through a unique lens. Johanna recognized that the paintings and letters were inseparable, each illuminating the other’s significance.
A Voice Rising from Silence
Johanna, fluent in Dutch, English, French, and German, took on the mantle of advocate. She wrote to critics, organized small exhibitions, and sent the paintings to galleries across Europe. Each effort was met with skepticism, as male critics often dismissed her as an emotional widow who couldn’t grasp the complexities of art. One prominent figure even accused her of elevating her brother-in-law to an undeserved pedestal.
Undeterred, she forged ahead.
Over time, her relentless passion began to shift perceptions. Exhibitions grew in size and significance, critics softened their stances, and collectors became intrigued. Johanna sold the paintings strategically, always ensuring they were showcased in prominent places where they could capture attention.
A Revelation Unfolds
In 1914, she accomplished something extraordinary—she published the letters in three volumes. Suddenly, the world could hear the artist’s voice, rich with doubts, deep affections for his brother, and a vision that transcended his struggles. The “madman” transformed into a relatable figure, and the art world began to recognize his brilliance.
That same year, Johanna took another poignant step by relocating her husband’s remains to rest beside his brother in a serene French cemetery, a testament to an enduring bond.
Legacy and Light
By the time Johanna passed away in 1925 at the age of 62, “the artist” she had fought to reveal was now celebrated across Europe. That artist was Vincent Van Gogh.
Her son later founded the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, which opened in 1973, ensuring the legacy of his uncle would not only endure but thrive.
Vincent painted the stars, but it was Johanna who illuminated their significance. Sometimes, the true masterpiece lies not in the artwork itself but in the unwavering spirit of someone dedicated to ensuring its legacy shines brightly for the world to see.
Ya see, Vincent van Gogh was called "mad" during his lifetime and became the defining historical example of the "mad genius" archetype. Neighbors in Arles, France, nicknamed him "le fou roux" (the redheaded madman) and signed a petition against him following severe mental health crises, including the infamous incident where he mutilated his own ear.
After his breakdown in 1888 and hospitalizations, local townspeople in Arles grew frightened of his unpredictable behavior, leading to police intervention and his eventual stay at an asylum in Saint-Rémy. It is here, at the psychiatric asylum that Van Gogh painted The Starry Night.
If you’re not familiar with The Starry Night, look at the image above, maybe you’ve seen it, maybe you haven’t- maybe you don’t even care, or you’re wondering…What in the fuck does all this matter in relation to BTME?
Ya see, Vincent Van Gogh was a passionate en plein air (outdoor) painter. He preferred working outside directly from nature to capture the blazing light, vivid colors, and raw energy of the French countryside, braving intense sun, wind, and rising tides to paint in situ (on site). The proof is in the pudding, several years back art conservators found a dead grasshopper - caked behind impasto paint.
Oh yeah, my point…Vincent Van Gogh was intimate with nature. Or as Justin put it…
“Respect Mother Nature: She’s not just a pretty face; she’s a force to be reckoned with. Learn her moods before you try to dance with her.” In The Grizzly Gathering, he describes it like this: “The WEATHER painted a scene worthy of Van Gogh, if Van Gogh had ever captured Montana’s wild heart” (Emphasis Mine).
Obviously, J Money is NOT talking about a particular Van Gogh painting here. BUT you would be hard pressed to give me a better example of Van Gogh painting weather than The Starry Night…It shows the view from his east-facing window just before sunrise (dawn) with an added village, but strangely enough, this painting was NOT painted in situ, he painted it indoors in his daylight studio rather than outside under the night sky.
I’m trying to tell you this motherfucker knew the weather. Vincent van Gogh's painting The Starry Night is not an actual storm, but scientific studies show that its turbulent, swirling brushstrokes accurately match real-world fluid dynamics and atmospheric turbulence, such as how energy moves through storm clouds. Researchers analyzed the painted sky and found that 14 swirling shapes match Kolmogorov's mathematical theory of turbulence.
Boom. Fluid dynamics. I’m not sure where you are in solving Justin’s poem, maybe the first stanza is a throw away stanza for you, but I promise it’s not. As the article above states, “researchers think he was able to successfully capture the sky’s turbulence because he was a talented artist and a meticulous OBSERVER of nature” (Emphasis Mine). As I said above; These were not the scribbles of a deranged artist; they were the reflections of a deeply sensitive soul, one who perceived life through a unique lens.
Let’s look at a few things Van Gogh said about painting:
In a letter written to Émile Bernard in April 1888, Van Gogh expressed his desire to paint the night sky, and questioned whether he could achieve his intention by painting from nature as the Impressionists did:
“The imagination is certainly a faculty which we must develop and it alone can bring us to creation of a more exalting and consoling nature … A star-spangled sky, for instance, that’s a thing I would like to try to do … But how can I manage unless I make up my mind to work … from imagination?”
AND as he wrote to his sister, Willemien Van Gogh, “It often seems to me that the night is even more richly colored than the day, colored with the most intense violets, blues and greens. If you look carefully, you’ll see that some stars are lemony, others have a pink, green, forget-me-not blue glow. And without labouring the point, it’s clear to paint a starry sky it’s not nearly enough to put white spots on blue-black.”
AND finally to his brother Theo, “Looking at the stars always makes me dream, as simply as I dream over the black dots representing towns and villages on a map. Why, I ask myself, shouldn’t the shining dots of the sky be as accessible as the black dots on the map of France? Just as we take the train to get to Tarascon or Rouen, we take death to reach a star.”
I’m not exactly connecting the dots for you here, I hope you see that- it’s on purpose.
Beauty in turbulence…in the cycle of nature. Acceptance. In short, enantiodromia. Enantiodromia is a psychological concept that an extreme state eventually turns into its opposite. When an emotional state like deep pain is pushed to its absolute limit, the unconscious mind builds up a counterforce, allowing joy, relief, or a renewed sense of life to break through.
Emergence of Light
Just as night peaks before dawn, a deep descent into darkness can clear the path for unexpected hope, gratitude, and joy.
Here’s real footage of Justin talking about this concept:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jF56zOFYjvw&ra=m
That’s obviously a joke, here is the actual Q&A:
Q) What pep talk would you give to a seeker who is very close to either the checkpoint or the location?
A) “I feel like I know who asked this question. At the risk of sounding cliché – the night is darkest before the LIGHT. And if you are confident in the location in which you’re searching, I see little reason to stray. Uh, but I suppose it really boils down to HOW you’ve built that confidence” (Truth, Logic -unf).
Back to fluid dynamics, have you explored what flows in time? You get what I mean. The first stanza. It invites you to reflect deeply about the nature of time.
Spoiler warning:
I am about to give you the answer to what flows in time- so stop reading if you don’t want to hear the answer.
::Drum Roll::
Fucking, EVERYTHING flows in time.
I can feel your eyes rolling. Before I continue, let’s cover something first:
As the video above states:
“Archaeology is the search for fact... not truth. If it's truth you're looking for, Dr. Tyree's philosophy class is right down the hall. ... So forget any ideas you've got about lost cities, exotic travel, and digging up the world. We do not follow maps to buried treasure, and "X" never, ever marks the spot. Seventy percent of all archaeology is done in the library. Research. Reading.”
Philosophy is a major study of time, but it is not the only one. Physics studies the physical reality and measurement of time, while philosophy examines what time fundamentally means, how we experience it, and whether it even exists. Better yet, how it is actually defined:
Philosophy is the systematic study of fundamental questions about existence, knowledge, values, reason, and mind. Derived from the Greek word for "love of wisdom," it uses critical thinking and rational argument rather than empirical observation alone to understand the nature of reality and how we ought to live.
In case you missed it, if you want truth- look to philosophy. More about truth in a little bit.
“Truth rests not in clever minds…”
Heraclitus of Ephesus is famous for his belief in flux. It is the idea that everything in the universe is constantly changing. He said, "everything flows," meaning nothing stays the same - it's always moving. Stability isn't real. Instead, our world is a continual process where change is
constant. The ancient Greek pre-Socratic thinker thought that permanence is an illusion and that life exists in an endless stream of becoming. He inspired the river paradox which states that you cannot step into the same river twice. The water flows away and is replaced by new water. At the same time, the person stepping into the river is also changing.
I had previously written about “current” in a now deleted post. I covered the difference between current and flow, where I said “if you see Justin indoors, feel free to call him “Flow”:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZsmS-RPpMZ/?igsi=MXdzMmduMXY2Y2pkaw==
Justin first stanza is LAYERED with meaning (insert Layer V promo), which I believe was inspired by Heraclitus.
See here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZXr-ZCqKvs/?igsi=ajZzNG54YnZzdjZl
The “concept of hiding things and these really profound simple questions that have deep answers…”
Not much of his writings survive, but there are fragments of the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus which are packed with deep, hidden, and riddling levels of meaning.
Core Philosophical Themes with Multiple Layers
The Doctrine of Flux (Panta Rhei): The surface layer says "everything flows". The deeper layer means reality is not made of static objects, but of ongoing, changing processes.
The Unity of Opposites: The surface layer contrasts fighting ideas (like day and night, up and down). The deeper layer reveals that these opposites form a single, balanced, and harmonious system. Think enantiodromia. Very Masonic, eh?
The Logos: The surface layer uses the word for speech or account. The deeper layer points to the hidden, universal law or cosmic reason that guides the shifting world.
The Nature of Heraclitus’ Writing
Riddles: Heraclitus wrote intentionally obscure statements meant to be unpacked slowly through personal insight rather than read at face value.
Experience over Explanation: His logoi require the listener to peel back layers of superficial thought to experience the actual structure of reality.
Back to Justin, homeboy is a NERD, just playing, he’s a software engineer.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaLSbXHKWA_/?igsi=Z3BobHhzcjl6ZTlu
He has mastery of language and code, he has love for the obscure, you can’t tell me he didn’t think deeply on the structure of this poem- but mostly, you cannot convince me he turned off his coding mind.
More specifically, I want to point out that computers turn logical truth into electrical signals (current/voltage): high voltage represents 1 (true), while low or no voltage represents 0 (false). Billions of tiny switches called transistors turn these signals on and off, while logic gates combine them using rules like AND, OR, and NOT to process information and perform calculations.
I’m sure you’re making the connection to all the ones Justin has used? At Seekers Summit, he promised the cancellation of two search states if the “goal” of 1,111 attendees was reached. When asked why this number, he said he’s a busy man and had to pick a number quickly. His post which some claim was a helping hand was posted at 11:11. He also shared the 11th Hour book. I’m sure there’s others but that should suffice, call it a coincidence but let’s take into consideration a few things:
The phrase "eleventh hour" means the last possible moment before it is too late or a deadline expires. Acting at the eleventh hour means doing something right before time runs out.
Origin and History
Biblical Parable: The idiom comes from the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard in the Bible (Matthew 20). In the story, a landowner hires laborers at various times during a 12-hour work day, with the final group hired at the eleventh hour (just one hour before quitting time). It shows God's kingdom operates on grace, not just human calculation or earned reward. Anyone who comes to God, even late in life or at the last minute, receives the same gift of eternal life.
Remember this?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jF56zOFYjvw&ra=m
So maybe that’s the point: we’re all mad here. We’re all moving through time, turbulence, darkness, beauty, logic, grief, and becoming—trying to make sense of the strange river we’re standing in. Some of us paint it. Some write it. Some code it. Some hide the clues in plain sight.
But every so often, someone sees the pattern.
Johanna saw the light in Van Gogh when everyone else saw madness. Van Gogh saw turbulence and found beauty. Heraclitus saw change and called it truth. And maybe Justin is simply inviting us to look a little closer—to question, observe, follow the flow, and find what emerges when darkness gives way to light.
Truth rests not in clever minds, but in those willing to look.
So keep seeking. Keep questioning. Keep sharing your light.
Because in the end, maybe the real treasure was never the destination.
Maybe it was learning how to see the stars.
“The ultimate puzzle, I discovered, wasn’t one to be solved with a map or a decoder ring, but with an open heart and a willingness to venture into the unknown, embracing the journey for its own sake, with all its twists, turns, and inevitable dead ends.”
I hope this message inspires you to look beyond the surface.
I’ll leave you with some of my notes regarding the last sentence of the last stanza:
Like a river’s steady flow—
In fluid dynamics and hydrology, steady flow means that at any given point, the water’s velocity, depth, and discharge remain constant over time. The river moves, but the conditions at that point remain in balance. Peace?
What you seek, you already know.
In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, the search for the Holy Grail begins with a question of motive: “Why do you seek the cup of Christ? Is it for His glory, or for yours?” Indy’s answer is simple—he’s trying to save his father. His quest isn’t ultimately about power, immortality, or glory. It’s about love.
The Grail itself is found beside a sacred spring, tied to the promise of water that gives eternal life. But when Indy’s father is mortally wounded, the Grail’s power comes with a warning:
“Choose wisely.”
Surrounded by elaborate golden chalices, Indy realizes that the true Grail is not the grandest one. It is the humble wooden cup of a carpenter—the kind of cup Jesus himself might have used.
The lesson is almost painfully simple: wisdom doesn’t always announce itself as something extraordinary. Sometimes truth looks ordinary.
The false Grails bring death. The true Grail brings healing. And even its power is bounded by the sacred space of the temple; carried beyond that boundary, its miraculous properties fade.
So perhaps the Grail was never really about possessing something magical.
Perhaps the search was about learning how to recognize what was already in front of you.
Like the river.
Like the light.
Like the truth.
What you seek, you already know.
With love,
unf