r/wizardcels

I cast a friend request spell on a witch in my class (many moons ago in 2016) i did it because i thought that we had a lot in common. We both liked Anime and I figured that she would be more humble than even the ugliest of witches.

but it took said Witch 30 sun rises to accept my friend request spell and even when she did, she cast an ignore spell on me by ignoring me again after I greeted my fair maiden with a simple "hello".

For the remainder of this accursed academic quest, I didn't utter a word to her and plainly ignored her. Mind you she could've been mistaken for beholder or a miniaturized orc yet she had the audacity of a princess.

tldr: Awalt. All witches are like that, Even the ones who could be mistaken for beholders and orcs.

I'm not a true wizard. Far from it. But I'm definitely not a knight or paladin. I have been mistreated by a witch before, felt unwelcome in my own tower, learned I was being used for my alchemy table. When I was younger I thought I could get by just using my tomes, and didn't care about my robe size. I started training pushing the mill stone and stopped drinking as much ichor. I riveted steel to my staff and started wearing mail under my robe (even though I use wards and don't really need to). You do feel a bit better if you move every day. It's not so much serf behavior when it balances your humors. It's not something that makes witches flock to you in the market though, not going to cast deception and tell you you'll get everything you want if you become a battlemage. I was able to get off of the plague doctor's poultice which I think is a fucking racket anyway (I do take T though. Get checked). Anyway. Some advice from a fakecel.

To see so many young apprentices turn to the black potion, for shame! We are wizards! Not warlocks, not witches, wizards! You would turn to such dark methods so quickly? Then you are no better than a warlock who relies on his patron to make him charismatic or a witch who relies on her hexes to overcome her lack of wisdom.

We were not born with power like sorcerers, did not beg for power like warlocks, we were born powerless and yet wrote the very tomes that have changed the realms time and time again! The realms are in turmoil, no self respecting wizard would ever deny such a thing, but we must not allow that turmoil to keep us from our scrolls, our orbs, our magic!

Bide your time young apprentices, ponder your orb, study your tomes, collaborate with other wizards, the time will come when your magic will mature and you will find a proper kingdom to accept you as their court wizard, but no self respecting kingdom would accept such a disgraced wizard as one who would partake in such malicious alchemy.

she was cool.

i think my spirit animal is a bear.

Fellow wizard apprentices, I inquire of thee: what event, revelation, or facial failo cast thee into the path of the black potion and condemned thee to a maidenless existence? Many among us suffer multiple curses, yet if ye were forced to identify a singular affliction responsible for preventing the existence granted so effortlessly unto the warlocks, what would it be?

For myself, it is the accursed malar bags: swollen shadow-pouches beneath the ocular realm which distort the midface, drain the visage of vitality, and grant the appearance of perpetual exhaustion regardless of mana levels or rest cycles. A truly wicked facial debuff.