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I (26F) have been dating my boyfriend (36M) for about 4-5 months. Before we met, his ex abruptly left him by packing all her bags while he was at work blindsiding him. He’s never once thought about what behavior led to this even tho he was convinced she was “the one” and that nothing was wrong. He called his exes friend the C word for calling him an alcoholic even tho this girl only met him once - clearly his ex told her friend he was an alcoholic.

He makes good money, and doesn’t let females pay for things, but thrives on paying for everything and loves to bring it up and hold what he pays for over my head. For reference, I am unemployed and currently injured - so going thru physical therapy and recovery rn.

I was unemployed for 6 months before meeting him. Aka I was fine before him. He has convinced me that he is the most empathetic and “nicest” person anyone will ever meet. He loves to also let people know how intelligent he is. He always says he has a temper and is volatile but is a “golden retriever” when he isn’t mad. He has genuinely convinced me that bc he is financially successful, a “golden retriever” when he’s in a good mood, attractive, that I can’t do better. I hate this feeling.

He has called me EVERY name under the sun. Even tho I was unemployed for months before meeting him and doing just fine, I never had self confidence issues. I have an engineering degree from a top 10 school and have Fortune 500 experience before getting laid off. However, he has made me feel literally worthless. I didn’t even feel worthless while I was juggling all the stressors of live before him..

He’s called me the B word, C word, idiot, worthless, nothing, idiot, asked why I don’t just disappear, and makes sure that I’m aware that I bring nothing to the table despite being unemployed, injured, etc. If you can name something negative a guy has called a female, he probably has called me it. Yeah this is all when he’s in a bad mood or drinking. When he’s in a good mood, he’ll be all “omg u bring so much to the table, I appreciate u so much!” So what is it?

Is he really THAT great of a guy that he’s convinced me that he is? He’s also told me that he’s subconsciously mean to me and verbally abusive bc he thinks I’m “not the one” so he pushes me away unintentionally, and he’d “take back his ex in a heartbeat if she called him rn” …. Even tho when he’s sober and regulated he will say the opposite. Idk I am so overwhelmed. But these words are extremely damaging and I can’t seem to get over them.

I am currently living with him for the time being. Bc my lease doesn’t start til next month and home is not safe rn bc my cousin went into a drug induced psychosis. And at the same time I don’t want to leave bc he’s somehow convinced me he’s the best guy on the planet. Idk anymore. I’ve caught myself pulling back a ton and not being affectionate anymore - since I’ve started job hunting and not revolving my emotional state around his anymore. I don’t have the bandwidth to fluctuate with every mood swing he has bc his mind will be changed within a couple of hours, then he says the opposite of all the cruel things he said to me basically taking everything back. He’s clearly bothered by me pulling back and has made comments about this.

Also extra examples: he is SO volatile. Last weekend he told me talking to me is like talking to a wall and he felt he was back in kindergarten - apologized 10 mins later. Then tonight old me, “why are you so fucking annoying omg” and that he’s “counting down the 2 weeks til move into my new place.” Earlier this week he got agitated at his utensils not being strong enough for cutting his chicken the other night for dinner. Just wanted to give more context.

TLDR: He is an alcoholic. I cannot fluctuate with his mood swings anymore. I have started pulling back and haven’t been as affectionate. I am neutral when he’s happy, angry, etc. He says mean things that are destabilizing and hurtful when he is drunk or dysregulated, then is super kind and says the opposite words when he’s in a good mood. His words are very state based. I can’t get over how cruel his words are despite how nice he is when he’s stable.

For everyone saying to just leave - it is extremely hard when you have been gaslit by your significant other that you genuinely can’t do better. On top of being dependent for the time being. On some crazy level, I do still love him. Idk

Why am I so conflicted? Is something wrong with me?

Hi all, I apologize if this is the wrong subreddit but I figured I'd post to get insight from attorneys or anyone who’s been in my shoes.

Background: In high school, I took a law class and thought it was so interesting. My freshman year of college, I thought about patent law be I was an engineering major. Fast forward- I ended up getting my degree in EE as an honor grad from a top 10 school. Worked in defense at a Fortune 500 for a few years. Started off as an engineer writing operational procedures (involves a crazy amount of reading as well) and eventually ended up in business development (defense sales). Then after this job I ended up as a regional sales manager in tech sales.

I have friends who are attorneys that I admire. I have always admired law and found it so interesting. I'm almost 29, and I have always had some form of regret for not going to law school. At this point in life, l've been thru a personal injury case (plaintiff), tenant/ housing case (asbestos contamination, plaintiff), and criminal defense case (pending dui). My personal experiences have actually made law more fascinating to me.

I have been unemployed for about a year due to lay offs. The job market is terrible, and I'm debating if law school is something I should seriously consider. I did thrive in tech sales and I do love sales in general as well. I also liked consulting when I had to do so for my fortune job. I was also considering an MBA. Or maybe try to get a paralegal job and maybe get law school paid for this way after x amount of time of experience? Would this be the best financial move? Or just bite the bullet and start studying for the LSATs while I have all this down time unemployed?

Any engineers or people in sales turned lawyers here? Any advice? If I go this route, any advice on studying for LSAT?

Thanks in advance!

Hi all, I apologize if this is the wrong subreddit but I figured I’d post to get insight from attorneys.

Background: In high school, I took a law class and thought it was so interesting. My freshman year of college, I thought about patent law bc I was an engineering major. Fast forward- I ended up getting my degree in EE as an honor grad from a top 10 school. Worked in defense at a Fortune 500 for a few years. Started off as an engineer writing operational procedures (involves a crazy amount of reading as well) and eventually ended up in business development (defense sales). Then after this job I ended up as a regional sales manager in tech sales.

I have friends who are attorneys that I admire. I have always admired law and found it so interesting. I’m almost 29, and I have always had some form of regret for not going to law school. At this point in life, I’ve been thru a personal injury case (plaintiff), tenant/housing case (asbestos contamination, plaintiff), and criminal defense case (pending dui). My personal experiences have actually made law more fascinating to me.

I have been unemployed for about a year due to lay offs. The job market is terrible, and I’m debating if law school is something I should seriously consider. I did thrive in tech sales and I do love sales in general as well. I also liked consulting when I had to do so for my fortune job. I was also considering an MBA. Or maybe try to get a paralegal job and maybe get law school paid for this way after x amount of time of experience? Would this be the best financial move? Or just bite the bullet and start studying for the LSATs while I have all this down time unemployed?

Any engineers turned lawyers here? Any advice? If I go this route, any advice on studying for LSAT? Thanks in advance!