Can't even think of a proper title but I need some advice if possible
Im in my early 30 guys and I'm so confused. I do not enjoy anything. Everything feels pointless, I don't rly have dreams or things to aim for. I don't think I'm depressed, I'm doing my work during the day, cooking for myself, cleaning working. In fact I am often overworking, not cuz I'll make a lot of money but cuz it's the only thing that feels like "meaningful" for the future. Ppl that I talked to from time to time have some kind of dreams like to buy a cool car, house, have kids. I try to put myself in their shoes and I still can't see myself enjoying life even with those things. Don't know what to do rly, when my parents ask me for help with something I do it but this thought comes up - ah, what's the point even, I'll help them but it won't fix my "problems". I've tried working on myself but everything I've done didn't lead to anything. When I see some progress I start to push more, and the more I push it feels like it starts to go backwards. For example working out, I used to like working out, but the more I push myself it did more harm then good and cuz of that I've stopped and started many times but this time I think I'll rly give up on it, cuz my efforts don't lead me to where I want. It's the same with a lot of other stuff I've done in the past. The only things that have worked out for me were the once that just came to me without me doing anything.
I have also noticed that my brain keeps spinning my not so healthy thoughts constantly. There are time where I feel like that everyday life will lead to a "better" times and after some time I still come back to that negative circle where my brain is like " what better times? I'm not having fun with any of the stuff that I'm doing".
The post became a bit long. At some cases I feel like it's just the absence of a social life. Hard to find time for that with everything that's going on and I'm not rly good at it as well. Friends are far away and they are pretty busy as well. Also with time conversations have run dry. Sry for the long post, thought just sharing it with strangers might make it better.