The extent of the stalking and hate
Hey, everyone. Now that a few days have passed and we've been able to observe the situation from different perspectives, there's something I've been thinking about that I'd like to contribute to the discussion, respectfully.
I'd like to start by clarifying a couple of things:
One, I don't condone the vocabulary that Gunil used, regardless of who it was directed to. He also admitted that it was wrong and that he shouldn't have said that, so clearly he understands it was wrong and it's pointless to try to shrug it off or to gaslight people into believing it wasn't so bad. It was.
Two, even if he did something wrong, I don't think that makes him a bad person. He's obviously not an angel but he's not evil either. He's a regular guy who went through an extremely stressful situation, made a series of bad decisions and is now facing their consequences. His apology seemed sincere *to me* and I forgive him, still love and respect him, and wish him all the best. However, I also respect people who have a different stance and have decided not to forgive him. I think we never know for certain whether someone is sincere or not, and it's up to each of us to decide whether to trust or not.
But that's not the point of this post. The reason I'm bringing this up is because I've noticed that some of the discussions in this sub are turning into fights where people are being disrespectful to each other and I'd like to encourage everyone to try to respect the diversity of opinions we have on this issue.
Now, across all the discussions about Gunil's situation, I've noticed that most people tend to mention the stalking as a one-time incident, or the massive hate as "criticism of the concert", and the reason I wanted to make this post was to provide more information on these two points, for those who may not be aware.
First, the stalking. Besides what most people know about how sasaengs broke into Xdinary Heroes' dorms early in the year, and what Gunil shared in his letter about the tracking device in his car, it's important to point out that the members are being stalked *constantly*.
There are public X accounts disguised as "fansites" that pretty much every week post photos of the members' private lives. Just over the last month, I have seen: an entire series of photos of Jooyeon walking down the street, sitting at a bus stop, scrolling on his phone, you know, doing normal people things, with people in the replies commenting on his hair or his socks like it was an official photoshoot; a series of photos of Gaon eating at the airport; another of Junhan at a coffee shop; Ode having lunch with friends; just complete shameless invasion of privacy shamelessly posted on public social media for *everyone* to see like they're zoo animals.
Rednote is another thing. There are countless photos and videos of the members off-schedule, it's truly alarming. The fact that some people feel entitled to this "content" is already disturbing, but it's even more unnerving to think about what someone with malicious intent could do with it. And this will keep happening because well, no one is stopping them.
So I want you to keep this in mind when the topic of stalking comes up. It's a constant thing and it builds up and at some points escalates, but it's always there, they're *always* being stalked. All of them. Not just Gunil. All the time. Not just during the break-in.
Now, onto the second point, the hate. The words I'm seeing in these discussions are "fans who weren't satisfied with the concert", "people who criticized the concert", but these aren't the terms I see whenever a Kpop group gets hate over a performance. We call it what it is: hate. So why is different for Xdinary Heroes? Is it because we're trying to paint Gunil as someone who can't handle criticism at all? Let's dive into it.
Back when they had their first concert at Inspire Arena, I was very excited. I was not there, but I felt very proud because that was their largest audience so far, so when the concert ended I did the same thing Gunil did: I went to social media to read people's reactions, and welp, there was a bit of everything: happiness, valid criticism, and yes, hate.
There is a world of difference between "I wish they had played xyz, but maybe next time!" And "I spent all this money and you didn't even play xyz, now that you're becoming bigger you think you're too important". One is feedback, the other is just rude and entitled. And some of those comments were suuuuper rude, calling them everything from lazy to ungrateful, or leaving manipulative comments like "the drive to the venue was longer than the concert".
Mind you, the concert was approximately 3 hours long, and they played 28 songs live. Really unfair to call them lazy in my opinion. *I* got annoyed and stopped reading comments altogether, so I can only imagine how Gunil felt after playing for 3 hours and who knows how many more of preparation, plus the accumulated stress of preparing an album in parallel to their UK & Europe tour stops, festival performances, the constant stalking, and countless other things we may never know.
Again, nothing excuses what he said in that conversation. My point is, please keep in mind that what he saw wasn't simple criticism. And it wasn't just directed at him, but the entire band. They got a lot of hate on an occasion that represented an important milestone to them, and that objectively sucks. I understand why he was hurt and angry and wanted to vent, even if I don't approve of the way he did it.
That same night, Gunil couldn't sleep and he wrote a long message on Bubble to address this. I want to share some extracts of what he said:
>First, I saw that some people felt the concert was too short, but think it probably felt shorter than usual because there wasn’t 발롯코 (📝the segment where we walk around near the audience) but I really hope people won’t say things like, “They don’t care about Villains anymore,” or “They skipped it because they couldn’t be bothered.”
>In fact, we really wanted to do it. Up until right before we arrived at the venue, we were fully expecting to. We had already planned which songs we’d sing while walking around. We even chose songs like “Strawberry Cake” and “Little Things,” songs that weren’t on the main setlist, and we had already decided what we’d perform both today and tomorrow. We were so excited to see Lainz up close and singing these together. But when we arrived at the venue, for reasons we ourselves still don’t know, the 발롯코 was suddenly canceled that same day. We had no choice but to skip it
>I know Lainz couldn’t have known that, so I understand why people were even more disappointed. Still, when something like this happens, instead of immediately saying things like, “Why are you guys so lazy?” or “Now that you’ve gotten bigger, you think you’re something?” I hope you’ll first think, “Maybe there’s a reason why things turned out this way,” and not lose your trust in us
>I also saw a lot of Bubble messages saying the setlist was disappointing. I think setlists are naturally a matter of personal preference, so it’s completely understandable that people will have different opinions. Feedback like, “I hope you play this song next time,” is always welcome because we can actually use that when preparing future concerts.
>But comments like, “Why did you put together such a lazy setlist?” or “This setlist makes it obvious you didn’t even care about the concert,” aren’t very helpful from our perspective. It just feels like you're venting your emotions in an immature way because you're angry and annoyed. If you want to give feedback, I think it would be more helpful to tell me where and how you were disappointed.
>Ever since our debut, whenever there were ridiculous or unreasonable comments, I usually just ignored them. But today, I really felt like I had to say what was on my mind. If I just let this pass, I felt like I might start mistaking the small number of Lainz who treat me and our team like an emotional dumping ground for the fandom as a whole. And honestly if I kept holding it in this time too, I'm going to die of stress ㅋㅋㅋ..
>Anyway, to everyone coming to tomorrow’s concert, please come safely. Let’s just have fun together first! I truly appreciate the constructive feedback that is not nitpicking and swearing at me for their own ridiculous personal reasons. Everything can’t become perfect all at once, but I’ll continue improving the things that I realistically can, little by little
I remember when I read that I feared he was gonna get in trouble, because I had never seen an idol directly call out fans like this, but I respected him all the more for it. The second day of the concert he said something similar to the audience, said he was afraid of the next concert, and ended up crying on stage. Now we know he was going through a really shitty time, and already at his limit. And now we know there will be no next concert for him 🥲 But well, I wanted to share some more context and also show that he was pretty honest about how he felt at the time, and it's consistent with what he expressed in his last letter.
Man, I wish I had some cool closing lines after this long-ass post. I just hope this contributes to the discussion and we can keep talking about this issue while respecting each other's opinions.
Take care and see you around! 💜