u/-crying-cinnamon-

I really wanted to get into counseling/ psychology.

I truly can't afford it, I'm sorry if this post isn't relatable but I just needed to write this somewhere.

I learned that if I was to go to uni my HECS debt would rise every year, sorry if that's well known none of my family ever went to uni, it would go up $2500 a year before I even make enough to need to pay it, my plan was I was going to pay it off yearly before I needed to but there's no point anymore.

I just feel so hopeless, I'll never be anything, I'll never be able to help anyone. Life is truly useless for the poor.

I honestly just feel like ending it all, no point anymore.

All of my dreams have been shattered, I am hopeless.

I have autism and was really stupid enough to think I could make a good life for myself, I want kids so badly but I see now that I wouldn't be able to be a good mother as I am always going to be less than....

I envy the people given life, I just wanted to be a good person, I can't tho....

I'm sorry I'm just ranting but this broke my heart, I will never have a home or an education, I will never be anything and it breaks me.

I am truly a fool, trying to find hope for myself and its just impossible...

I wish I wasn't born, I truly can't take this many blows.

So yeah, today I found out I will never have a child nor a good job... I will never make a life for myself.

I will be a waste forever, how disappointing...

I was such a beautiful and kind child, so hopeful and optimistic, I've always loved animals and that's the only thing that I have left, how this world has killed that little girl....

I will forever be nothing, I just can't believe how naive I was.

My life is going to be rotting until I die...

I'm sorry to anyone who reads this, I truly used to love this world...

I am so stupid.

Heya!! I am 21 f, I've had absolutely awful and crippling back pain for 6 months.

It comes in absolutely shocking vaults of pain all through my spine but worse is at my neck and head, it goes down my entire spine every now and then.

You can skip but some backstory on me

I am very depressed, I've always struggled with mental health, I was around 10 when I first experienced panic attacks, I self harmed from 12-17 and have overdosed on heart medication that was my brothers, I've had anorexia for 5 years etc, I'm not looking for sympathy just explaining that I have always had mental health issues and that this is genuinely the most soul crushing thing I have dealt with mentally

...so I genuinely thought my mental health couldn't get much worse ....., it feels like I've lost every part of who I was. I am basically bed bound at the moment because the pain is so bad. It also goes numb but I'm honestly lucky when it's not hurting. I grieve myself, when I could move!

I have had a nerve in my tooth die from a janky filling that let stuff in, that pain is genuinely comparable to this, it feels like my nerves are popping/ breaking, I get warm/ hot pains, it feels like water is trickling down my spine but that water is both ice cold and lava!? It's nerve pain so I understand why.

HELPFUL!!!

I got another blood test done, and finally!!!

My first bloods came back with a small potassium deficiency, the hospital treated me like I was experiencing a panick attack or something so unserous it was very hard to get help. I'm a rural australian

I'd called the ambulance when my heart was being weird and that was the only time I was listened too.

I was made out like I was being dramatic.

Turns out, I have been experiencing nerve damage for 6 fucking months!!! All because of gluten!

I don't get an upset tummy from gluten, I have no other physical symptoms.

I have an autoimmune condition reactant to gluten, it causes my body to have multiple nutrient deficiencies, it stops my stomach from being able to absorb nutrients and things like iron. Leading to nerve damage or the sheeth

Alot of people don't know gluten can have this affect, me included before. I have been gluten free for 4-5 days and I am doing better!

I was literally scared I was going to die before! So I am glad I'm ok but nerves take a long time to heal and may not get fully better but still in serious pain

I just wanted everyone who's worried and unsure of what is happening, if you've had an inconclusive MRI scan and nothing seems to be getting anywhere closer to the problem, please get your bloods done to see if you have a gluten allergy, again I had no gut problems and I'm very thin so I notice bloating.

I have nuropathy from gluten, sometimes it's weird stuff going wrong. I just wanted to share because I was so so lost for half a year!!

My empathy extends to everyone on this sub, it truly is hell, we don't realise how much we need to use our backs until it hurts doing so little.

Good luck! Hopefully this helps:)