r/poor

Those of you who came out of poverty. Were you so broke in the past for the longest time that the broke mindset still stuck with you even after youve obtained money?

Like grocery shopping you see something you want to splurge on and instinctly "I can't because I'm broke." Then it hits you, "wait that was years ago, what was I thinking it." Then buys the product.

That's what I'm going through right now. Not with groceries but with other things in life. It's always this feeling of being broke and not being able to do things and I have to remember I'm no longer broke. Like I saw how beautiful some landscape looked in another country and thought, I'm so broke I'll never be able to do that. Then it hit me, that was 10 years ago, you have the money now, go there in 4 months.

It's going to be a long time until I shake off this being broke mindset. It's hard because I was broke and desperate for such a long while that it became my personality.

Just needed to vent since I literally have no one I can talk to about this.

For context, I'm Canadian and will be referencing some Canadian terms. My best friends (who I'll call John and Jane) and I are all 30. I've been friends with John since 9th grade and Jane since 7th grade. They're my oldest friends and the only people from my childhood/high school that I'm in contact with. Jane lives a few provinces away, while John and I are about 2 hours away from each other, though we don't see each other that often due to his busy work schedule.

I took a sick leave from my job last year due to mounting stress and burnout, and ended up quitting a few months later. I was receiving EI for a while but when I had received the maximum amount of aid, I tried looking for another job. Found none, of course, so I'm currently on OW and have been since the fall. I was also taking care of my dad until we had to put him into long term care in November, where he stayed until his death in March. As you may or may not know, OW doesn't give you very much; between chipping in for the cost of my dad's long term care and trying to cover the expenses of our own house, my mom and I were barely surviving.

The issue is that Jane is getting married next month, and I can't afford to be there. I didn't really fully grasp that until last week, when I was calculating my budget and going over the cost of the trip. Between airfare (though it's relatively cheap), accommodations, food, etc., I would need over double of what I receive a month to ensure that all my bills are paid. Many are overdue, meaning if I don't pay them this month the water and hydro will be shut off. I'm devastated that I have to choose between this once-in-a-lifetime event with someone I cherish and just surviving. Most of my extended family is struggling as well, and the few friends that I have are in the same position as me so it's not as if I would be able to borrow money from anyone. My credit cards are maxed and in collections. When I told Jane, she didn't speak to me for days and just replied with a very short message on Facebook.

I just want to cry. I'm so sick of living like this.

For context. I am a male sex worker. I’ve always been poor, rough family life so I don’t have support and am on my own. I’ve dabbled with sex work, starting online with things like OF, then becoming a full time hooker. I am very sex positive and kink friendly, it’s something I enjoy in my own time. I’ve made good money doing it, been “full time” for years. But for the past year, the money has been slowing down. The economy sucks, and everyone is broke. People can’t afford to see me anymore. I don’t hate sex work, but I’ve done it for so long that the money dwindling down is fucking me up mentally, like I’m selling my body and still can’t afford rent.

For the first time in years, I might have to get a second job full time job to survive. And yes I know 2 jobs isn’t that crazy, but I have unmedicated suicidal depression and severe PTSD, and can’t afford a therapist or psychiatrist or meds, so I could never hold a normal job for more than a week which is why I turned to sex work.

I think the worst part though, is that even with two full time jobs, I won’t be able to pay off the debt I have for probably another 10 years minimum, or afford things like meds, or even things like a vacation…. wow a vacation would be sooo nice. Fuck.

Everything just sucks right now. I don’t know. I just needed to vent. I wish I could just make art and live life.

EDIT: and yes, I do gigs on craigslist, doordash, sell things, donate plasma, etc. None of it is enough to escape. I hope one day I can escape. I hope you do too.

How can i(m) middle aged, not from US, get out of being broke while being mentally ill, 0 skills, suffering from social anxiety and being brain damaged from using hard drugs from an early age, currently almost 10 years clean. I just don't know, currently i'm being kept alive by old family members and every day is a chore to just to take care of myself, my memory and concentration are at probably schizophrenia levels. I had all kinds of therapies and meds for years but they just mask the problem and gave me a lot of weird shit second side effects that were so bad in themselves. I used to go to AA and NA and they helped a lot but the social pressures were hard to go through so i kept it only for maintenance for my addiction disease. I just hate it so much being me, i feel just like piss in the wind without anything to do about it but just barely living until this is shit life is over with. I have to carry this shit forever without anyone understanding what it feels like. I couldn't even do what my therapist asked me to do, basic stuff. Everything just feels so hard to do. Does anyone relate to this? I don't know how to get out of this shit, it ate my life for too many years. Thank you for reading until the end.

One thing people don’t understand about being poor is how much mental energy it takes every single day.

You’re constantly calculating:

• which bill can wait,
• whether groceries will last,
• if you can afford gas,
• how many days until payday,
• and praying nothing unexpected happens because even a small emergency can destroy your entire month.

Realistically, how much money do you need to come out of the hole you're in? What amount of money would fix all your problems, at least the urgent ones?

I would say, about 7k or round it up to 10k . That's what separates me from where I am now and mental stability hahaha.

Hello everyone , couple of years ago I was okay financially, I could afford school , food and everything and even had some left , now I can't afford anything , I'm behind on rent , I'm behind on bills , and worse off I have 2 jobs , everything is damn expensive that when I eat anything other than lentil soup I feel like I'm bad with money , and who made it a rule for schools to get full year pay in advance it's insane .

I eat 1 meal a day and that's before I sleep just so I won't be hungry in my sleep , srsly the world is insane if a person feels like they're financially dumb for buying chicken , and I can't even go die alone in some pit because I have a young brother who relies on me and I'm his last person , he's growing and I feel worse every day for it , like if I'm not working hard enough or something but it's not true , my day job really used to be enough just 2 years ago , I don't understand what went wrong , I never even got a debt .

Dreams been vivid and some straight up weird. Some of them actually make sense, they’re just insanely realistic. I ain’t tripping though I’m honestly just grateful I don’t really crave being high anymore. I used to feel like I couldn’t function without weed, now I got almost zero desire to smoke. Maybe for a special occasion, but even then I’d rather be present in the moment than high and forgetting it the next day.

I’m also glad I don’t feel dependent on THC or any substance anymore. Being at this age, broke as fuck, with no savings after working since 16 really fucks with me. I got no interest in spending my last dollars on weed or alcohol anymore. Too many times I blew money on that shit just to feel empty again once I sobered up.

Thinking about being 26 with nothing saved is honestly insane to me. Still smoking while being down bad? Nah, cut that shit out. Plus I want peace of mind when it comes to drug tests and better job opportunities.

Ever since high school I never knew what I wanted to do. Teachers would ask me about my 5 or 10 year plan and I’d always say “I don’t know.” Well… now I see where that got me. I’m not even at the bottom of the totem pole, I’m underneath the foundation SMH LOL

Time to quit smoking, get a real “big boy” job, and put kitchen work on the back burner (pun intended). Shoutout kitchen confidential, I passionate almost too passionate about cooking tht working for these establishments diminishes that passion so I prefer to maintain my passio In the comfort of my own kitchen.. (also pay, I love my industry but man the pay fucking sucks rn)

I’m also at a point where I genuinely need to start making REAL money. I’ve lost too many years neglecting myself, staying stuck in bad habits, and not taking my future seriously. I’m SOOO tired of living like that.

What’s lowkey been motivating me lately is the fact I live in a semi-rural area surrounded by farms and hardworking people. Long story short, I want to become self-sustaining someday, I find grocery store prices stupid as fuck.. So I want a small-scale farm, work the land, and learn how to operate tractors, combines, and heavy equipment. I’ve also been seeing a lot of construction work around me, and honestly, driving dump trucks and hauling material sounds decent to me. Better than sitting on my ass watching time go by. I want to build things, move things, work with my hands, and actually feel productive. Not be potato

I don’t want to keep living like a fool with no direction. I want to become a disciplined, well-off man with skills, purpose, and something to show for my life.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk. IWNSWYT

I have taken a gap year after graduating high school top of my class because I've been through a series of events that left me with severe PTSD. I am now stuck with my abusive parent and I can do nothing about it given that I am an adult now, and don't have any other financial possibilities. I am 19 and have no degree, I have a good amount of qualifications and experiences but the job market absolutely sucks. I am not able to work in person jobs because of the situation that I am in and my parent is making my life a living hell. I am desperate, I need money and I genuinely would've considered online prostitution if I didn't have a boyfriend. I don't know what to do, I just want a goddamn job.

That’s it. This is the first time. Also still haven’t been able to pay my rent this month. I just moved and have literally nothing —not even ingredients. Fuck me.

So I’ve been trying to put as much money aside to savings to be able to afford a place to rent. My significant other and I are basically paycheck to paycheck, so we save very little each month. We have been trying very hard to find a family friendly rental for us and our 4 year old. Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible to find anything under 2k for a 2 bedroom.

Now here is my rant. Not only are so many of these rentals ridiculously overpriced, but some of these applications fees and extra costs???? Anything over $50 for an application fee just doesn’t sit right with me. I finally found an apartment in a safe area going for roughly 1,500 and was so excited! Except here are the extra fees.:
• $75 Application Fee Per Applicant
• $500 Pet Deposit per cat
• $85 One time Fee per cat

Between 2 adults and 2 cats… we would be paying $150 just to apply and $1,170 just to move our 2 elderly cats in. With first months rent and security deposit, all together would be $4,170. Not even taking into consideration costs of moving our stuff 40+ min away (we have to leave our area, we have been out priced), and installing utilities.

Our pay has not increased at the same pace as rentals have. Living paycheck to paycheck while renting makes it so challenging to save accordingly, especially when emergencies happen. Hospital bill? Car breaks down? I’m exhausted. We’re in our mid-late twenties and feel zero hope to ever afford to save enough to own a home. “Have more kids” “There is a birthing crises!” “Why are so many couples not having kids anymore?” Save it. We’re lacking basic, affordable starter homes. Insurance and childcare costs are beating us bloody. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic as I’m so tired, but fucking fuck.

ANY WAYS…. Is $75 applications normal in your guys area? I’m seeing anywhere between $30- $100.

Update: I just called the clinic and they said the $200 reschedule fee is ONLY for a PET/CT scan, which I'm not even having done. So the receptionist this morning at the clinic was severely misinformed. I get paid this week and I will have enough money for the rescheduled appointment, so problem solved.

----

I had a cardiology appointment today to get an echo done and when I was checking in at the desk she told me I had to pay a $180!!! copay. I asked if I could just pay that at my follow-up next week because I get paid on Friday. She said no, and I only had $4, so I said "ok let's just reschedule." And then she was like "ok well just to let you know, there's a $200 reschedule fee." I nearly died of a heart attack right there on the spot. I genuinely do not have that kind of money. I thought the reschedule fee would be like $20-50 NOT $200!!!! I literally paid them my last $200 for my last appointment when they gave me a holter monitor to wesr for 24 hours. So now I'm crying in my car trying to figure out how I'm gonna get back home with $4 because my car is ALSO nearly out of gas.

At this point I'm just not gonna be able go to my heart appointments because I can't afford them. :) I made it this far without collapsing dead so I must be alright. Seriously what is the point of my insurance when this is what happens when I try to seek preventative/diagnostic care? I might as well just wait until an emergency and have everything done at the ER because at least then I can just ignore the bills they send me in the mail. I hate being poor wtf

I am in the middle of filing bankruptcy and I have to pay my attorney first, which I’ll be able to finish paying him when I get paid for June (im paid once a month). However, I’ve stopped taking my medication cuz I can’t afford to buy it and im going to use my grocery budget to pay my attorney. How do food banks work? I volunteer at one a couple times a month but im just in the back doing warehouse work when I volunteer. I also feel like I shouldn’t use the food bank cuz it’s mostly my fault im in bankruptcy anyway. Should I use the food bank?

I recently read a story here about overcoming financial struggles, and it honestly gave me some hope. Right now I’m going through a very difficult situation financially, and it’s been emotionally exhausting trying to handle everything alone.

I’m doing my best to stay positive and keep moving forward, but some days are really hard. I would truly appreciate any advice, encouragement, or ideas from people who have been through similar situations and managed to recover.

Even hearing how others got through difficult times would mean a lot to me right now. Thank you for reading, and I wish everyone here success and peace in life.

Living life these days, especially in new orleans, no jobs, no money, no hope, literally just makes me want to end it all. As a “youngin” whose been trying but feels no hope for any sort of future, and doesn’t wanna get dragged further and further down until i’m the next homeless person on the street at 50 that “must not have tried in life and must have used drugs”, it feels like i either have to just let go of morals and do sex work….go ahead and give up anything i wanted for myself in life, which at that point how is life worth living, or go into military and basically die for a country i hate. But as i sit here after being hit 3x in a month, debate my 6th tire purchase in the last 6 months, and watch as influencers get rich while i sit and clamor on indeed and hiring cafe hoping i can finally get an opportunity just to pay down debt and college loans…i start to wonder if just ending it all really would be easier than the pain of wanting life to change but not being able to 🙃 does anyone else just feel so…..hopeless…and don’t give me wrong, This isn’t a suicide note, but when it gets to a point where living seems harder than dying well…then what.

Hi everyone, I know times are super rough and such lately, but I just wanted to share my experience with 711 lately. They have been my absolute lifeline with all their promotional codes for gas. I love that I've been able to stack several offers at once. But most recently I've found these little adverts on top of the gas pumps in my area. Some of them have been a large big glup for $0.59, others have been $.64, with the most expensive being a whopping $1 for a large soda. Its not much, but its enough that I can enjoy a small treat. Plus all their offers on the app have made it just a tad bit easier to get by. I know it might not help everyone, but it is a place to start

Here are the codes I've found so far:

ALLIN: $0.50 off per gallon (valid on the 7th and 11th of every month) FUEL: $0.40 off per gallon FUEL30: $0.30 off per gallon SAVE: $0.25 off per gallon DEAL: $0.30 off per gallon STARSWIN: $0.11 off per gallon

Please, I beg you, if you cannot afford to have children, please don't procreate. Society ends up raising them in one way or another. It's a very important decision to make after you get married.

I’m always inspired by stories of people who started with very little but kept pushing forward anyway. Whether you were the first in your family to attend college, worked while studying, learned through setbacks, or had to create opportunities that didn’t exist for you — your journey matters.

Im tired of working 2 jobs all the time, being away from my kids and still end the day broke. I did make a small accomplishment yesterday and paid down majority of my pay in 4s. I felt good but now I feel depressed all over again. I still have a high hill to climb. I still need to catch up on house bills while trying to pay off my cash advances, while all new bills will also be approaching. I just feel so overwhelmed.

Most of all I feel sorry for my kids, they deserve so much more in life then what I’m currently offering 😢💔

But a part of me feels like I might need to see where else is there money to be made because this is all I know.

There's lots of money in healthcare I feel a little soulless if I choose to get educated in finance. Law dont want to deal with huge human drama.