u/-toastyghosty-

I live in SC and the Mazda dealer I originally leased through is in Charlotte FYI.

1. Can I skip the dealership entirely?
I want to secure financing through my local credit union ideally. Can my credit union handle the buyout directly with Mazda Financial Services (MFS) or Toyota Lease Trust (TLT) by sending them a check, or do they strictly force South Carolina residents to go through a physical dealership to process the paperwork?

2. Dealership experiences & hidden fees:
If you did have to go to a physical Mazda dealership to finish the buyout, what was your experience like? Did they try to force you into paying any fees or inspections to complete the financing process?

29M, married 7 years, toddler + baby due in one month. I feel like I can’t catch a break no matter how hard I try.

I’ve tried to maintain strict budgets, but extenuating circumstances keep draining my savings and pushing me back into credit card debt. Every time I try getting back to normal, something hits me out of nowhere. It’s gotten to a point where I feel like everything I do is pointless, and honestly it has me in a pretty dark place mentally. I genuinely want to get this under control, but it feels impossible.

The timeline:

June 2023 — Our only car, a Kia Optima, was totaled. My wife was driving in the right lane at 45mph when another car pulled out into traffic without looking and hit her passenger door head-on, sending her through a fence and nearly into an apartment building. She was okay thankfully but extremely shaken up, especially since she was newly pregnant with our first child. We replaced the ($250/month used Kia with a leased Mazda CX-50 ($450/mo). It’s our only vehicle, and after what she went through, she felt safe in the Mazda so it wasn’t a battle I chose to pick.

Fall 2023 — Both of our dogs contracted a serious strain of kennel cough that developed into severe pneumonia. They were fully vaccinated, and still one was hospitalized and passed away at only 2 years old. He was a good boy and we miss him dearly. Between vet visits, medications, X-rays, and hospitalization across both dogs over several months, I was out somewhere between $10–15k. No pet insurance. Lesson learned the hard way, get pet insurance now if you’re reading this.

March 2024 — My wife gave birth to our first daughter, but suffered serious complications during delivery requiring emergency surgery, followed by additional follow-up surgeries and extensive medical and PT visits. She’s all good now, she’s a super hero, and the doctors cleared her to have more kids if and when she wanted (foreshadowing).
Also, two weeks into paternity leave I was laid off in widespread department cuts. I found a new job two weeks later, but the insurance policy switch was mishandled by both carriers. We weren’t notified until near the end of 2024 that nearly all of our post-delivery claims had been rejected. We’ve spent the past year fighting to get it resolved, and I think it’s finally starting to sort itself out, but it’s drained our HSA and the pressure to pay during that time sent more debt onto the card.

2026 — Baby #2 is due in one month, and we just found out my wife will likely need a scheduled C-section. We’ll hit our deductible this year, and until the HSA can reimburse us on the back end, everything is out of pocket. In spite of all of this chaos, we opted to go for a second child because it was important to us that our daughter has a friend and sibling to grow up with. We didn’t want to let any issues today stop our family plans long-term, though we both feel two is our max. Oh, and food and gas costs have made none of this easier, but that is something I think applies to all of us.

Financial picture:
- Salary: $98k/year
- 401k: $140k
- HSA: $1k
- Discover: $10k balance

Monthly heavy hitters:
- Rent: $1,700
- Student loans: $500
- Car lease: $450
- Groceries: $600 at least

Where my head is at:
My mind constantly bounces between

“you’ll never pay this card off”

and

“you’ll pay it off but then get wrecked by something else.”

Neither headspace is good and it’s really impacting my ability to manage our finances properly. This is my real problem. I feel hopeless and stuck in a state of zero control.

I know it’s generally considered a last resort, but I’ve honestly been thinking about taking the early withdrawal penalty on my 401k and pulling a small amount just to clear the Discover balance before this baby comes, then pumping up my 401k contribution rate. Part of me thinks it would be such a mental relief to clear that card, especially before the baby comes, that it would be worth it, though I know most would highly advise against the move.

Edit: Taking a second job was done previously but stopped given the impending baby constraint, I’m needed at home. Wife going back to work is not on the table. We had to rehome our second dog a while back for non-financial reasons, so pets are also not part of the picture anymore either.

I know I can get this on the right path, it’s the feeling that even if I do, something else will undo all those efforts that’s weighed me down mentally.

Update 5/8/26: I’ve paused my 401k contributions, +$300 per paycheck