u/002dollar

Posting for a friend; thank you for reading.

Hi everyone,

I’m a single mum on the Gold Coast involved in complex parenting proceedings in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. I’m looking for any practical insights from people who’ve been through something similar.

Background (condensed):

There are existing final parenting consent orders that I say I did not freely or voluntarily agree to.

On the day the orders were made I repeatedly told my barrister I did not agree and wanted to go to trial. I was kept in a small room for roughly four hours with only short toilet/water breaks. When I tried to leave or speak to my mother or a social worker I was ushered back in. My barrister made a series of statements that I experienced as pressure (including about Legal Aid obligations, the risk of losing my son if I didn’t agree to relocate closer to the father, breakdown of our professional relationship, and the practical difficulty of finding another barrister or self-representing with thousands of pages of material). I kept saying I was too emotional to consent properly and needed more time to understand what I was signing. Those requests were ignored.

I have a written contemporaneous account plus supporting notes, emails and text messages showing I felt pressured and coerced.

The orders that are causing the biggest problems right now:

- I must live (and continue living) within 30 minutes of the father indefinitely. (The father is taking me to court for being 3 minutes outside that radius)

- My son is restricted from attending Silkwood School.

- A provision to set aside all previous orders (I have a DVO that is important for safety and I’m concerned the way the consent orders were drafted has maybe nullified those protections).

Current situation:

I applied for around 100 rental properties within the required radius (including many in Beenleigh) and couldn’t secure suitable, sustainable accommodation. I’ve now been approved for and moved into a rental in Ormeau (approx 33–45 minutes depending on traffic). My son has had to move 4 times since we left the father due to disputes in where I can live. Child safety and lawyers have given conflicting advice.

The father’s solicitors have written formally saying that being even a few minutes outside the radius is a breach and they will take me to court if I don’t move closer by January.

At an earlier interim hearing the Judge found it was not in my son’s best interests to relocate from the Gold Coast and stayed an earlier interim relocation order after I showed the difficulty obtaining accommodation in Brisbane. She also indicated I should be able to remain in my home city on the Gold Coast and that my son should be able to attend Silkwood. I have the transcript of her reasons. She was meant to be my judge for final hearing but a new judge was assigned and I was told my my legal representation that he is the type of Judge to take my son from me if I did not agree to live within the 30 minute radius.

There are family-violence / DVO considerations that need to sit alongside any residence or relocation arrangements. The orders also don’t deal with what happens if the father moves (I believe he may now be living with a girlfriend in the Logan area). I still have to live 30 mins from Cannon Hill despite where the father stays. A clear mistake in the orders.

I’m currently on a 6-month lease in Ormeau and the property may be demolished, so I need clarity before January.

What I’m trying to work out:

Is the strongest pathway:

1. An application to set aside the consent orders because of the circumstances in which they were obtained? or part of them?

2. A stay of the relocation / residence restriction so I can remain in the Ormeau / Upper Coomera area?

3. A variation of the parenting orders to allow residence in the Ormeau / Gold Coast region and attendance at Silkwood (I’m flexible on father–son time arrangements)?

4. Some combination of the above?

I’m more concerned about choosing the correct procedural pathway that actually gets an immediate practical result than about running the most dramatic argument.

What I’d like a professional to assess:

- Whether the circumstances around the consent orders warrant further investigation as a potential challenge

- The strongest immediate legal pathway

- Whether an urgent stay / interim application is realistic

- How the current housing, schooling, distance, change-of-circumstances and family-violence factors interact with the existing orders

- What evidence they would need

Questions for Reddit:

- Has anyone been in a similar situation (pressured into consent orders + later needing to vary a strict relocation radius or school restriction)? What pathway actually worked?

- Red flags or things to watch for when choosing a lawyer for this type of matter?

- Any practical tips on getting an urgent stay or interim variation while living slightly outside a radius that was set by consent?

I’m trying to identify the smartest procedural route before the January deadline.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

My friend is going through hell with a controlling ex-boyfriend. They have a kid together which she raises, and through a huge disparity in lawyers she signed something that said she must live 30 minutes from him. She is moving in three days and has just received a threat from the boyfriend’s lawyers to take her to court because her new house is 33 minutes away. She is not wealthy and got a good deal on the place. She is shattered. Is there any merit to this threat?

Thank you.

I’m new to the tradition and just wondering what the practice looks like in the daily life of a layperson.

🙏🏼

I’m curious about Amitabha’s pure land. My question is, if you are reborn there, how do you accrue the merits required to become a Buddha? Wouldn’t you need a humanly realm to accrue merit?

Thanks 🙏🏼

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