u/00__--__00

what are some good gay 3rd spaces?

primarily looking for the Bushwick/BedStuy area but willing to travel to make some meaningful connections.

I feel a bit isolated from the gays in my life currently and I'm trying to fix that by expanding my circle. just looking for some places where I can find community amongst my people. I'm open to trying things from the arts to sports (perhaps less so sports lol). I've tried bars but they don't seem to be my thing tho.

any suggestions are appreciated.

EDIT: I'm getting several suggestions for events, I'd prefer places I can go to repeatedly

reddit.com
u/00__--__00 — 4 days ago

is Xanadu a secret gay haven??

im looking for a queer/gay 3rd space and wondering if Xanadu might be the place. I've gone before and it seemed pretty queer but I'm not sure if that was just a one-off or not.

does anyone have any clarification on this or recommendations of queer/gay third spaces near Bushwick that aren't bars?

reddit.com
u/00__--__00 — 11 days ago

soooo... I went to the Eagle for the first time

...and I don't think it was for me. the demographic is mainly late 30s to early 50s which is a bit old for me; there were definitely a few guys I found hot there though. the music was also super techno (at least when I went) and that's also not my thing.

I don't know really how to explain it but it kinda felt like there was a memo that everyone got except me. i've been to bars like the Rosemont and 3 Dollar Bill before and I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable like I did at the Eagle (perhaps it's the different age demographic?). I also went to these bars alone and didn't feel like this but it did seem like a lot of the people that went to the Eagle were with others, so maybe I should try to come back with a friend?

I stayed there for much less time than I would have preferred but I was just not vibing. I didn't even go to the upstairs part because I ended up just wanting to leave and go home after like 15 mins. I'm a little disappointed in myself but it's hard to force something that doesn't feel right.

sometimes it feels like I'm a gay from a different universe because so many of the things that everyone else seems normal or finds comfortable I do not enjoy. it so often feels like I'm trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I just wish this shit was easier.

reddit.com
u/00__--__00 — 13 days ago
▲ 6 r/NYCBands+3 crossposts

does anyone know of any choirs local to bushwick or does anyone need a singer for their band or something? I'm a 25 tenor looking for singing opportunities near me because I miss it.

reddit.com
u/00__--__00 — 22 days ago

any recommendations on activities I can join or places I can go to meet other gays? I'm thinking of maybe trying to go to bars mid-week but I'm not sure of the best places to try. maybe a choir? not necessarily looking for something romantic, just trying to expand my social circle.

reddit.com
u/00__--__00 — 23 days ago

where can I go/what can I do to meet attractive guys (tops 23-30) who want to date and aren't just looking for hookups and/or a white twink?

I'd consider myself an attractive (on the cuter side) guy with a big personality and a good sense of humor yet my apps are dryer than the Sahara.

I think I need to meet people in person because every time I go to a gay speed dating event I'm pretty popular, I'm just not really into most of the guys that go there. Every once in a while I'll match with someone I'm interested in, but they are always flakey.

I've tired going to a couple bars on the weekends in BK but that doesn't seem to be the right environment to find what I'm looking for; it's too crowded and everyone seems to go in groups/with someone they are already interested in. perhaps I should go on a weekday, but I'm unsure of how to best navigate that environment.

I feel like dating shouldn't be this hard and that there's got to be something that I'm missing. I know it's harder has a poc but I don't think that accounts for everything I'm experiencing? should I be seeking out more gay friends to try and network my way into a relationship?

reddit.com
u/00__--__00 — 24 days ago