Love
I have started to think that maybe love isn’t for me. I feel there’s no one truly loves me, Maybe I’m not worthy of it I see people in relationships being loved loudly/kindly being showed off and cared for in ways I have never been. Sometimes I can’t help but to be a bit jealous of that not in an envious way more so in a I want what they have. I see women so beautiful, all I can do is admire them and I wish I had the same beauty. I have always felt I was second place that everyone in my life. I used to be a little naive and still hopeful in love. I’ve been in one relationship my whole life started at 21 and now 25 I was cheated on the entire time. It’s been hard to feel worthy of anything I truly feel like I am deserving of nothing. What is wrong with me. I have such a distain for myself sometimes I can’t bother to look in the mirror. I feel so disgusting. I’ve always been a shy/awkward person my whole life. I’ve never had much friends nor is it easy for me to make them. There truly is no good quality about me it feels.