how to tell if your parent is an alcoholic?
Hi, new here. I have no clue if it’s ok to ask this or if this is even the right place. Please let me know if I should take this down!
So, I’ve never met or known someone who (to my knowledge) is an alcoholic. Well, I think I would actually qualify my mom’s parents both as alcoholics, they were always drinking all the time. They drank all day every day. But they were nice, not abusive, didn’t do any harm. Except their own bodies. But the past few years my dad and I are a bit concerned with my mom’s drinking habits. She’s a stay at home mom, does advocacy work for mental health, supports two grown adult children, is a wife, and has almost single handedly handled my grandmas life up until passing and my grandmas estate and bills after her passing (with no help from her siblings). Her mom’s death hit her hard, especially because she lost her father years ago too.
Her habits were always pretty similar to what it is now, so I don’t think it’s completely related to her mom’s death, but I do think it contributes now. I’ve really only noticed her doing these things the last few years, like since she became an empty nester.
Anyways, she starts drinking at like 8am with a mimosa (or like three) until noon or so and then switches to beer. And she’ll drink beer until she goes to bed. Me and my dad have both pointed it out that she’ll just get drunk on a random tuesday. And yes, she’s retired so she doesn’t have anything to do and she’s an empty nester. But, and I love my mom, my god she can be so annoying when she drinks. She turns into a college student sorority girl almost. Which isn’t really harmful I guess, but it gets a little unbearable to talk with her. She also sees no problem in taking a mimosa or beer to her hair appointments and then uses her tesla to drive home. I’ve told her many many times how uncomfortable this is to me. And also embarrassing to be honest. She argues that it’s not like one drink at her appointment will get her drunk, but it’s the principle. I swear she’ll bring a drink anywhere if she could. She’s normalized being drunk to herself.
It just worries me. I don’t think it’s healthy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a 23 year old woman, I love drinking, but I keep it to parties or a night out every now and then. But she sees absolutely no problem with it and calls me and my dad buzzkills when we comment on it. But, I don’t know if it qualifies as alcoholism? It’s not like she’s abusive or mean or doing anyone harm, but it’s like she’d rather be drunk than sober and I just fear what it could turn into.
So, TLDR: Can someone be an alcoholic if it’s not harming anyone really? Or if they’re not abusive or mean? Is what my mom doing normal? Am I overreacting?