bi men who left monogamous relationships to explore sexuality-- please offer me your perspectives and experineces
I am feeling really hurt by my partner (29m) stating he needs sex outside of the relationship/to explore with men in order to feel fully expressed as a queer person. He just came to the realization that he is bisexual within the past few months/year and never got to experiment with men before we got together. We have been dating for nearly two years and I thought he was the one. I am obviously devastated. I got a strap etc and we have tried it but he doesn't think it will be enough. Likely we will break up (going to try counseling but I do not see an out with this one as I am a monogamous person-- even if he changes his mind I will never feel like enough and always worry he feels like he is missing out).
On r/bisexual the consensus is that biseuxality does not equal monogamy, people are generally discouraged from leaving their good/healthy and loving monogamous partnerships to explore. However, I am certain that many people do leave to explore for their own reasons, like my partner is considering.
Can anyone who has done (or even considered doing) this please explain the rationale for throwing away someone you are in love with for a sexual experience? I guess I just want to understand better to lessen the heartbreak I am feeling 😞 It feels so shallow to me. From my understanding there are so many ways to validate a queer identity outside of sex with the same gender.