u/123InternetLover

A small vent because lately I have been really frustrated with the fact that I feel like I can’t trust my own thoughts. Sometimes I think I’m having a rational thought, but it spirals into “what if it’s actually irrational?” and I go back and forth for like every thought I have!!! It’s killing me!!! I feel like I’m never ‘right’. Like I have to second guess myself for everything because I know I deal with such irrational thoughts. It’s like I can’t trust myself with normal things anymore 😞 I’m not sure if this makes sense but I’m so tired of having nobody to talk about it to!! 😭

I never know what venting tag to use but I need to vent.

I haven’t been feeling well as I caught a cold that has been going around and it’s left me congested and gross. I’ve been feeling panicky all day and I tried to make myself dinner but it doesn’t really taste like anything and I’m just not hungry. I’m so anxious I think I might have to throw up tonight. I just don’t feel well at all and have been so anxious today I just think it’s going to happen. I can’t get myself to feel like eating and pretty much every other time I’ve thrown up it was while I was trying to force myself to eat. The more I talk about this the more it sounds like it’s going to happen. I don’t know if it’s from my high anxiety today or what. I just needed to talk about it before I lose my mind.

I need to vent cause I am so stressed out

My brother and I have had the same cold for a while now, but he is disabled and struggles more with it than I do. He just threw up all over his bed cause of the constant coughing he is doing and I’m the only one home. I genuinely just feel like I’m being tortured. I know he’s dealing with the same sickness as me but I can’t handle throw up. I went into the room and looked at it and was relatively fine and then I sprayed some stuff down and threw a towel over it but now I’m just lost and scared. He got in the shower like I told him to but I don’t know what to do next. I just want to crawl away and hide

I guess this is a success but it is realllllly stressing me out still. My brother threw up a little bit this morning in the kitchen and nobody was home except me. I put on a mask and a glove (could only find one lol) and cleaned it up. Shockingly I was totally fine looking at it and cleaning it. I was thinking it would be too much to deal with but I didn’t want to leave it on the floor for hours until someone else was home. I then stress cleaned the rest of the house and now I’m finally just sitting down. I should be celebrating but my mind keeps zeroing in on all the possibilities. Not to mention I keep getting my OCD triggered and I feel like its signs that I’m next 😩. Anyway, I just wanted to share. I’m really surprised I managed to deal with it even if I’m stressed about it now.

TW for discussion of maybe avoidant or bad eating behaviors

Lately I’ve been eating maybe one meal a day, especially avoiding dinners since those tend to be more ‘real’ meals and therefore have more ‘risks’ to eating them. All I can think about is how the food can be bad. When does it expire? How long has it been out? Is each ingredient safe? It’s always something. I feel terrible as it leads to what is likely perfectly safe food to be thrown away. My mom graciously made one of my favorite meals today, but all I could think about was how unsafe it was. I skipped eating it. She kept the leftovers but still those don’t feel safe. I just want to cry. If I try to explain myself it just sounds silly. I usually eat packaged snacks lately, and it’s making me feel unwell and never really full. I miss food. I don’t know how to cope better with this. I’m hoping someone else can relate? Or have ideas for ways to cope with the discomfort?