u/1404e7538e3

Hello frens, ai has new problem. Ai hope you have good advice again. You see, I likes warms, ai REALLY likes warms. Outside ai insists on sleeping on sunny spot on lawn. Inside ai sleeps in sunny spot next to window. Ai LOVES sun. Sun ist bestest thing (or maybe second bestest after ball).

Now to problem: is bery warms outside! Pawrents say is almost 40 „digriis Selsios“ outside these days. And less warm but also warm inside. Dis too warm! Ai feels hot! Ai has buttons, one says „play ball“, but ai cans not use, is too hot for playing ball, ai not wants play ball now. Ai wants cold, so ai can wants play ball.
So, natshually ai wants to soo for outside colder. BUT: WHO TO SOO? Ai suspected my pawrents is responsible, they have this „heating“ thing inside, maybe they thinks ai likes warm and made dis so hot that outside is hot, too? Or is broken and makes outside hot? But they also seem to not likes warm and heating thing feels cold. They tried terrible solution by the way, they thinks is good to put WATER on! Not just themselves…They puts water on your fren after much too short walks! They knows ai hates water! Can ai soos them for that at least? (But ai already gots bery good treats, still soo?)

Photo attached of your fren doing only thing possible to do: sleep (sniffing outside also good, but humans wants to puts me inside a lot now, bery mean)

Hello frens dis your fren best boi (or is sweetie pie or baby or little treasure or smartie or stinky …my pawrents a bit stoopid and seem to forget my name all the time and not know me is big adult dog no baby!), ai have big question about an ai thinks unfair Deal.
So, we have good weather, nice sun, so we gos outside so I can find bestest smells for my hoomans. Dey not so smart and talented as ai, so ai show dem were bestest smells are. Ai even roll around bery dilishen- dileshe- … a lot in dis smells to bring bestest smells home! And ai makes bootiful green and brown spots on my fur. Some days ago found bestest smell ever, dead birb! (Couldn’t bring home a lot though, hoomans said no dis time)
But, ai digress. Mai problem is other: Mai pawrents seem to not appreshate my effort. Dey say deal is ai rolls around as much as ai wants if not too gross (why gross? I find bestest smells!), but can make mai pawrents happy with smells only during way home…at home dey torture me while giving treatos in rain room, mai pawrents call dat „baff“.
First: why baff?
Second: can ai gets better deal? Maybe roll around on three walks and den get one baff only? One walk one baff seems bery unfair. Or maybe more better treatos? Is good treatos but no cheese. Need pawyer for advice!
Photo shows your fren thinking about unfair deal.

Hi frens, mite be in grave danger, need pawyer at least, maybe also pawlice. But in order. Yesterday started pawsome. Hoomans unfroze dog meatballs for me and let me have a taste, yummy. Us went sniffing outside (my hoomans is lazy, let me do all the sniffing, compensashoon pawsible?), great. Took a short two hour nap, then we went sniffing again! With the meatballs! Was very happy. But was so betrayed… we go to pokey place! Me of course refuse meatballs and not go inside. Am carried. Am poked. Think is done. Pokey hooman think is done. Then said „oh acshident, poked wrong“ or so and poked me AGAIN. Was poked TWICE. Despite was very good boy! Then we go home and I eats meatballs. But I thinks not enough compensashoon. Heard them speak about next poke time. Is in one year, dis long or short? Want to stop them or at least good compensashoon.
But frens, here is grave problem. Maybe they plans to eat me next time at pokey place! We go at lunch time dis time and my hoomans always forgets my name and calls me a food, so maybe they plans to eat me next time? Hoomans call me something like cake, I think say something like cute cake? Other proof: my hoomans says I smells good after rain room totshure (rain room totshure not so bad, tricked my hoomans into good compensashoon). Do I need pawlice to help me not get eatens before I can soo for compensashoon? And what compensashoon can I get? Attashed photo as proof me is very good boy and looks bery worried.