Just found out my sister is pregnant…
I am 4 months post termination. Lost my first baby back in June. Today my sister told me she is pregnant. I had no idea that she was even trying or wanting to have a baby yet. I am two years older than her and the eldest of our siblings. I was the first in our family to be pregnant. This has completely blind sided me. She felt awful and has been anxious to tell me. I am obviously happy for her and her husband and I hope more than anything that they have a good healthy pregnancy without any complications. But it has really thrown me. I came home and sobbed. I am jealous, i am angry at the universe, I am heartbroken for myself, I’m cross at myself for reacting like this. I’m sad for her that she has had to have what should be a happy time tainted by worrying about how I will feel. I know I will put on a brave face and support her because I love my sister but this feels a lot. I was supposed to haver the first grandchild and now she gets to do that. We are TTC again, hoping it will happen soon, but I was just not expecting this. It feels like every time we feel like we’re moving on something else happens and knocks me sideways, like we just can’t get out of the stormy sea we’re stuck in being batterer by wave after wave. I just needed to get this off my chest and see if anyone has any words of wisdom or love to send my way.