i love the experience of ATITFOL and want to immerse myself in something with similar themes and emotional weight. are there any games that come to mind? it doesn't have to specifically be that ep either, just anything with similar vibes to the band
i'm disabled in oklahoma so i no longer have access to hrt since i used to get it through medicaid. i have a little bit stored up but after that i don't know, i know diy exists but i literally have no money. i'd be homeless if my girlfriend wasn't letting me stay with her. i have no idea who to turn to for help, the only two members of my family who haven't turned their back on me think i can just "tough it out" if i can't get my meds, and that i'm "still valid anyway so what does it matter?"
i feel so alone and hopeless, i'm almost incapable of feeling joy at this point beyond tiny fleeting moments. every days feels like i'm just sitting around waiting for the inevitable knock on my door when state thugs come to take me away. i don't even know if i want to keep transitioning anymore if it's going to ruin almost every other part of my life. like i know i'm a woman and that's how i want to live but it's just too hard to live with a target on my back. i wasn't made to handle this kind of stress.
i don't even know why i'm posting this honestly, i'm in bed crying because everything is too overwhelming and i can't get up. i guess i just need to feel like i'm not alone
after almost 2 years of very limited breast growth on hrt... i hit them on something while cleaning earlier and audibly said ouch ☺️
i live in a conservative state where not passing could literally get me killed. i've been on hrt for almost 2 years now but my height and build have just made me look like a woman's face plastered on a man's body. i'm terrified to leave the house, and when i do i get weird looks regardless of how i present and it's so fucking exhausting being a walking sideshow everywhere i go. i can't work because of some disabilities but don't qualify for disability because i'm not disabled "enough," so i'm currently looking for a job but every application or interview feels like a humiliation ritual, not to mention how fucking dangerous it is to give out my personal information to people around here. i have no money, no escape route, and it feels like there's no way to better my situation. i just want to be fucking normal, why can't i be normal??? and now the president has apparently made it his personal mission to literally kill us. i'm just so done, so tired. i want this all to stop and i'm seriously considering "logging off" lately. i think the worst part is how lonely it all is too. i have no friends because of how isolated i am, real life or otherwise. i think it's giving me literal brain damage. sorry for how negative this post is, i just needed to get this out of my system. back to slowly drowning day by day 🫡
p.s. when i say "why can't i be normal" i'm not referring to being trans as abnormal it's just how i feel. i just wish i fit into the boxes people expect me to
i wanted a simple fun experience and i got it! very light visuals and improved mood that helped make an otherwise boring night very fun. playing my guitar was so interesting, every note felt like a raindrop washing over me and it was such a full body experience. listening with all of my self-doubt stripped away, i think i actually sound pretty good!!
p.s. love you all, people are gorgeous 💜