u/19f181

Recently my mental health has been worse than usual, so I've got sh urges again. I'm about 2 years clean and still haven't done anything to my body. Somehow I ended up in places that showed selfharm pictures, and I can't stop looking at them. I've got that competitive thoughts again, I want my scars to be worse, I want them more. Pics like that trigger me, but I still come back to them from time to time. How do I even stop? I hate it

Its been like 2 years since my last sh, and I still get the urges sometimes. Its exhausting. Sometimes I wish I could just give up and harm myself pretty badly, but I understand it would only get me into that addiction of mine again. Now I just stare at my old scars, lowkey wishing there were new ones.

I thought I've managed to suppress my depression, but I guess it just never goes away completely