Hi! Do you know where one may find co-ops that are friendly to neurodivergent kids? I have been searching in local fb groups and although I found one, I don’t think they will be meeting anymore and I can’t seem to find another one.
I’m in my mid 30’s, my STBXH (autistic and ADHD diagnosed as an adult) is in his late 30’s. Together for 11 years, married for 10, separated for almost one year, special needs kid.
There hasn’t been abuse, cheating, or anything catastrophic. The problem is that we cannot communicate effectively with the other (the stupidest thing will become a big issue for no reason whatsoever) and that has deeply damaged our relationship. I’ve been wanting the divorce for the last 5 years, but because of our life situation (special needs parents) we have not been able to get through it (and it’s not that I have stopped loving the man). We tried to work things out during those 5 years but things did not get better. I didn’t stop loving him, truly, but I can’t stand him anymore.
He was always wanting to fix the relationship and we did try, but since we’ve been separated, he was able to verbalize that he doesn’t want this anymore either, and I couldn’t avoid feeling sad. To me this is surprising because I was the one who initiated the divorce talk, so hearing it from him felt like what he probably felt when I mentioned that I wanted to divorce. I just wasn’t expecting to feel this bad because I was the one who initiated this. Has this happened to some of you who have initiated it?
I’m leaving A LOT of details of why our relationship doesn’t work out because it would make this post too long and the decision has been made. It truly is for the best for the three of us. What I wasn’t expecting was to have this sense of sadness because I was the one who initiated this whole thing.
He is not a bad man. He is a good dad and we keep the peace so our kid has some sense of normality even though we sleep in separate rooms in our house and whatnot while we sort our situation out for the best outcome for all. I have been in therapy for a while, and he just recently started to get help. As much as I can’t stand him, I think it’s fair to say that he cannot stand me either because I’ve learned in time that he gets too overwhelmed by me.
I don’t know, I just didn’t think how sad I’d feel about hearing him say it because I was the one who started this. Does this make sense? Is this normal to feel sad when one started it?