Should I not go looking for my family?
Long story, but as a kid I was taken from a pretty bad situation. I don’t have all bad memories though, and recently I went back.
It was pretty fucking emotional, I kinda traumatised my coworkers/friends who went in with me cause we were just passing by and went in on a whim.
To my surprise despite the abandoned state my room and my slightly older sisters were exactly the same! (Adjoining rooms). Nothing had been touched, even my books were still there.
As we were looking around someone scared the shit out of us. And she recognised me. I shit you not, it was my second eldest sister. I remembered her but not her name. I did a pretty bad job of hiding I didn’t remember too, and later she introduced herself to my hovering friends awkwardly standing back.
I was so fucking happy to find her, and she was happy to see me but I could tell pretty worried in a gruff way. She said I shouldn’t have come back.
I knew a couple of my younger sisters also got out, and become teenage mothers before I lost track of them, but I hadn’t heard anything for years which is why I went back. Nostalgia I guess. Lonely as fuck too.
I know one’s dead. The situation and everything that went down, pretty good chances at least one of thems dead.
I want to stay in contact and help C, and find the rest. I just don’t understand how she doesn’t hate me. I feel guilty as fuck I got out and she didn’t. She doesn’t blame me and I can tell she loves me? Is fond of me anyway. C says I shouldn’t go looking.
I’m not sure I even can find them now, it’s been so long.
What should I do? Any advice?