u/32_16_8

Hi,

We started outing ourselves as a system towards some of the people we run an aspec discord server with.

I am not sure if that was a great decision. We are technically still questioning the whole thing (even after over 2 years of discovering ourselfes and noticing how it improves our lifes to not force ourselves to pretend to be a singlet). I now feel like we are committed to being a system and scared how that might affect how we interact with people. It feels verry personal and vulnerable to allow people, especially singlets with little prior knowledge, insight into what goes on in our brain. Am i bow forced to grant them this level of insight?

But we really need to be able to talk as individuals with people. We neglected to do so, after pausing contact with a system we are friends with and we noticed how everything became a lot harder. So many of our coping strategies rely on us being there for each other and cooperating.

Hi, i'm Lux. (CN:Suicidal thoughts mentioned)

A part of me cares for me abd i want to write an appreciation post.

For the past few days, i have been feeling progressively worse, at lest until today. After ||kind of wanting to stop living||, we decided we need to do something and created a plan for what to do, which involvew fixing the cause of my anxiety, reducing other obligations and finding people to help us. (Me and Julia, another part of us, did that.) This reaction might be a bit over the top, but i like to make plans and organize solutions to problems, to feel better.

Yesterday, Noki, a more rare part, happened to front during a therapist meeting, where they mostly evaded the toppic, but talked about it somewhat to reassure the therapist, that we have it under controll. In the process, they promissed to keep us save, at lest until our next meeting. I didn't think much of it.

But today, i noticed them being with me when i woke up. They wanted to watch over me and be with me. And they did so the whole day, whenever i fronted. (Not litterally, but they were never far away, which is rare for them.) The reassured me, whenever i felt bad, and told me to trust in out plan. That i don't need to do anything more. That they can handle the work and i just sit back and relax.

Apparently, their first plan yesterday was to just not let me front, but i am really happy they decided to let me stay out. But we did test switching me out. Switching me out with Noki is hard for us, but there is another part, that can easily switch with me. But i worry about her mental state as well.

That's a bit of my life i wanted to share.