Life flourished within 5 months
Dear fellow victims,
This forum has been incredibly insightful and helpful to me. I feel like giving back by sharing my healing journey. Long story short, I got married to a pwbpd. She ghosted me and cheated on me when I went on a trip where I wanted to think about staying or leaving her since I found out about a lot of dark stuff.
Living with a pwbpd was crazy, divorcing even crazier. Placing cameras in my house, trying to steal money, stalking me, hacking my accounts and even moe..
When she discarded me, I felt like I died from the inside. I was fighting for years to get back that person I once met. When in reality, she was only this perfect 'mirroring' person the first month. I felt like I had lost my soul mate, the love of my life, the mother of my children.
Then, the true her became visible to me. The one that lies, steals, wants to use you like a puppet, manipulates you and desires to destroy anything you like. This is when I realized she wasn't the person I thought she was. Doing research on my holiday, I found this forum and realized she actually had BPD. The story lines up exactly with many stories over here.
Month 1: Half dec - end of January
She discarded me half december on my trip abroad. I prayed to God: if she isn't the one, make it known by starting an argument in the plane. And he actually did. She discarded me and went 'solo' to Germany. Later on, found out she went with a guy that was literally going to die in a year. I felt betrayed, disgusted and furious. Spending my first Christmas alone and first NYE alone. I was confused and really angry. But somehow, my skin started glowing again. My hair started growing back. I started losing weight etc.
Month 2: February
The month we actually proceeded with the divorce. This was a hell! After sabotaging various meetings, trying to steal and threatening to kill herself at any moment she was confronted with the divorce we finally came to a settlement. Even though she was with her new guy, she didn't know I knew. She begged me for sex about 50 times and begged me to take her back. During this month, I started developing crazy nightmares, sleep problems, heart beat problems and pain in the body. This was weird to me because I am an athlete. I was mad at the world and started to lose myself.
Month 3: March
I started reflecting on the reality of the situation. She was never the girl I thought she was. She is truly a bad person. She had a lot of debts. She manipulated me and lied about a lot of things. This could never have been the woman of my dreams. This gave me peace! Met a new girl. I was totally not ready for this in my head. But she turned out to be everything I needed. She showed me that it is ok to have a disagreement without it turning into a crazy arguments where my ex would do anything to destroy me. She gave me peace, love, stability and time. Everything I needed. I started to realize how scarred I was and tried to run from this situationship many times. But I literally couldn't. Everything led me back to her without her even trying. During this month, she gave me time and a lot of love to help me through it. At the end of March, I actually got divorced!
Month 4: April
Getting her to get her stuff from the house seemed impossible. Making appointments was impossible. Normal communication was impossible. I decided to do this through a laywer and completely go no contact. Best choice of my life. All of the anger was suddenly gone. Thing were progressing really well with this new girl. Life started to become beautiful again. I was slowly regaining control over my bad habits, use of language and dark thoughts.
Month 5: May
2026 turned out to be the best year of my life! This girl is becoming better by the day. We see each other about twice a week and there's 0 trust issues. I've got zero attachments or flashbacks to my ex, even though she tries to hoover frequently. I am rebuilding my financial position, because this was destroyed. Life is good. God is good. Life is actually worth living!
I am looking forward to the future. My advice would be: seek God, go no contact, date again to realize how crazy you ex was, rebuild your life, do not try to seek an answer, they will never give you this, focus on the future, forget about the attachments, destroy anything that holds attachments to your ex, chase the dreams you had lost in the process & realize how strong and beautiful you are for staying with such an unstable and demonic person.
I don't know who reads this but allow me to tell you this: this will make you stronger. You will find a woman that loves you for the small things. You will chase your dreams again. You may feel dead right now, but trust me, one day you'll feel more alive than you have ever felt. Whatever you do: DON'T GO BACK! You got this! I am proud of you for making it this far. Many have done it before you, so will you! Go and claim everything that is rightfully yours. Do not seek a payback, pay yourself back by giving yourself the ultimate present: a life worth living for yourself, not a mentally ill ex that will sabotage itself until the end of times.