My alcoholic mother is single-handedly ruining my dad's life.
Hi all, I've been debating whether to ask for advice here or not for a while. Here's some context. I'm 30 and live on my own, have 2 older siblings, none of us live with our mother anymore. My father lives with her along with their dog and cat. The TL;DR version is she has serious mental health issues but doesn't see a doctor. She has agoraphobia tendencies also, hasn't left the house to go anywhere in a couple years now. Her alcohol episodes entail staying up for multiple days angry talking to herself, where my dad hears her being loud and angry and tends to stay to himself on the bottom level of the house. Recently, her episodes have gotten considerably worse. She will sleep for days as well, but her anger toward my dad has extended to her children now. I try my best to comfort my dad and reassure him that this isn't his fault. I also try to comfort my mom because I know it comes from a place of loneliness. They're both in their mid / late 60s. My question is I need advice because I'm emotionally burnt out and so sad that this is just how my mom is now. She used to have more of a balance in life, being able to prioritize dentist appointments at the very least, used to actually go out shopping and come to the city. Her physical health is deteriorating to the point she can't walk without a limp. My dad does everything he possibly can to help her, offers to take her places, but she's not on any sort of schedule. It's my understanding that he takes care of everything around the home and financially, and my mom berates him any chance she possibly can. They're both retired, and my dad has his own health issues that he can't even get addressed for money reasons. If anyone has any advice, I'm more than happy to hear about how to handle this. I feel so bad for my dad and the pets too. She's an indoor smoker on top of this, which isn't anything new, but it's her anger that is worrisome. They've only ever gotten into one physical altercation when I was a child as far as I'm aware, but they just turn that pain and anger inward and self-harm themselves. Thank you for reading and any advice. I've even looked into social workers at least for my dad, but I seriously don't know what to do in this situation. If I were to get her professional help I'd get shunned from her and my oldest sibling for life. She's the most stubborn person I've ever known and I know I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves, but at what point is enough enough and someone outside has to intervene? I'm really not sure.